


I remember only your name.

by Myindepthmind



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, bellamy and clarke - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:50:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 64,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9839114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myindepthmind/pseuds/Myindepthmind
Summary: Note: Please read my notes in chapter 1 before you start this story.Alie had fallen and Clarke along with Skaikru brought peace by destroying the city of light. Now what was left to discuss between the newly appointed Azgeda King and Clarke was honoring Lexa's coalition. Roan agree's to her coalition with ease to repay Clarke for saving his life. With a sudden rush of noise and clatter among pavement Azgeda warriors swarmed the room. One in particular Bellamy recognized as Echo, now had Clarke standing with her sword pressed against her throat. The deal was explained and as Echo went to shove Clarke one of her warriors struck his mallet to Clarke's head. Desperately and with a miracle they were able to stabilize her and seal her wound that sat along the growing bump on her skull. After things settled they made their way back to Arkadia  with haste to make sure Clarke was patched up properly. Clarke woke hours later with Bellamy by her side only for them to discover Clarke has no memory of anyone or anything, she only remembers one name, Bellamy.Clarke doesn’t remember me.She only knows my name.only....my name.





	1. No mercy for the damned.

**Author's Note:**

> This is cannon-verse minus the whole end of the world hurah. Warning: This fic is going to have some dark elements to it. I had a lot of fun writing it and it felt different. This is a multi chapter fic that I will update regularly, I wanted to test the waters to see how I would do with this type of fic and I'm already enjoying writing it. Please let me know if you like it and enjoy reading. - Brooklyn.

After the fall of Alie, Polis became even more unwelcoming than before. Azgeda had announced their taking of Polis shortly after discovering the flame had not chosen properly the way the ritual states. Arkadians were not welcome around Azgeda. They blamed them for the city of light, which no doubtably so was a handful of Arkadians fault. The #1 spot being Thelonious Jaha, the old ark Chancellor. The mighty “ _Wanheda”_ brought death upon them _“once again.”_ they would state. Bellamy would only roll his eyes and Clarke would sigh as she always did. It did not matter to them that she saved everyone from The City Of Light. Making their way down the tower and out into the cites clearing, Bellamy and Clarke made haste to figure out their next move. The events were over with Alie, however the unsettlement now between the clans and the choice to honor Lexa's coalition still remained. Clarke needed to discuss new terms with Roan, the Azgeda king. After meeting with Abby, Octavia and Kane in the cites clearing they decided that together they discuss a solution and a treaty with the king. That was the only way her people could walk out alive tonight.

They made their way toward the throne room in the tower. Clarke knew that the only way through this was to speak to Roan. She had considered him a comrade, someone she could one day look up to if she could get through that smug demeanor. They found his body smothered in blood that looked to be coming from a bullet wound. Abby and Clarke looked at one another and immediately made haste to work the bullet out of him and patch him up before any of the Azgeda warriors noticed their leap of absence. The pressure in the air was high. Clarke could see Bellamy pacing in his spot, his head constantly jerking towards the door.

“Calm down, son” Kane expressed placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping to look him in the eye. Kane had become like a father figure to both Clarke and Bellamy.

If it wasn’t Clarke knocking sense into him it was most definitely Kane.

“It’s a bit hard to calm down when the entire army could rush in here any minute prepared and ready to slaughter us all.” Bellamy said with irritation and mild sarcasm. He was right about this situation. The tension in the room could slice a brick in half and Clarke was sure she could pass out from the pressure.

“It’s done.” Abby replied to Bellamy’s remarks glancing over at the two men.

“Finally” Octavia added getting up from her crouched position stretching her arms out and rolling her neck. Bellamy glanced at Octavia only for Octavia to glare back. She had not forgiven him for the events that took place in the past. She probably could never forgive him for Lincolns death. Bellamy only held onto hope that one day she would.

A soft grunt came from Roan as he rose from where he was laying, clutching his chest and startling both women who had their backs turned to his body.

“Clarke, your reflexes are slow again, I could have killed you.” Roan remarked smirking in his ever so casual tone. The deep groggy voice he has.

“Not with that wound.” Clarke let out a light laugh.

“Can we get on with this?” Bellamy piped up now making his way over. Roan did his typical look to Bellamy then to Clarke thing he did with his eyes. Clarke noticed it every single time. It’s as if he was trying to hint something to Clarke, already aware of her feelings toward Bellamy. He would never say anything, she didn’t think so at least

“Get on with what exactly?” Roan asked peaking his interest and turning to now face the group at full. Clarke cleared her throat and began.

“I came here to ask you to honor Lexa’s coalition.” she awaited his response. His eyes bounced between each member and back to Clarke. “and why should I do that when it is your people who shot me.” Roan said now in a serious manner, glaring at Clarke.

If it had been any other day, any other moon, any other situation, Bellamy would knock his smug face out for treating Clarke the way he did sometimes. This wasn’t the place or the time for that, he reminded himself. Clarke was startled and frozen, it was as if she had something to say but could not gather the words that sat deep in her throat. Bellamy made three small strides to her placing his hand on her shoulder bringing her back to reality. Roan half chuckled at Bellamy’s gesture. Clarke now glared at him and reached into her pocket holding the small skull slip box that held the flame inside.

“I will give you the flame, I will give you this to rule the 12 clans, in return you let Arkadia be the 13th and you honor Lexa’s coalition.” She stated firmly.

Roans eyes widened as it was such an offer he had not expected. He expected Clarke to fight for it, fight to keep it. Her demeanor remained neutral as the room gasped in sync. She did not fill them in on what she had planned to offer him she just let them know that she could do this and they had to believe in her. They too were just as shocked as Roan.

 _“Clarke...”_ Abby whispered. “Honor it” she repeated in a very firm and cool voice. It was a demand not a question. Bellamy would never admit this out loud but when Clarke was like this, he adored it.

Roan chuckled again rising in front of Clarke. Bellamy tensed and Roan’s eyes glanced over at Bellamy his smirk unmoved. He replied coolly with his smug face still slung to his cheeks. “I will honor Lexa’s coalition, you have saved my life, you have given me your precious flame, I will bring peace among the 13 clans and I will announce this in approximately three hours time. I expect you all to be in that crowd when I announce.” He brushed passed Clarke slightly bumping her.

“A word please, Bellamy” Roan was now standing in front of Bellamy as his response was only a small nod. They made their way closer to the thrown. The rest of the people in the room scattered mostly discussing amongst themselves by the four walls of the room.

Clarke sat in the center of the room using a wash cloth to clean her fingers. She always preferred the floor over chairs, ever since she was very young.

“I will bring no harm to Clarke kom Skaikru” Roan began as he spoke at Bellamy’s side, his hands behind his back observing the room. Bellamy was at his side, his gun slung over his back and his attention to Roan. Bellamy mused, “Why would you think I would be worried about that, Clarke can handle herself you know.” He remarked sarcastically, both men watching Clarke now.

“I have noticed a few things I will not touch on, I have since I first met with you, I’m sure your leg remembers.” He chucked only to continue. “I see your dedication to this woman and I know all to well of what it is to you.” He replied truthfully glancing over at Bellamy who’s eyes wander Clarke, Bellamy tensed. Roan hummed in amusement. “Bellamy Kom Skaikru, your dedication does not go unnoticed, it is honorable, I wish to have you as a comrade from the 13th clan, by Clarke's side when she visits Azgeda and any other events to follow, do you except?” Roan asked seriously clearing his throat.

“I don’t see why not, I’m sure you’re afraid I might shoot you again, if that’s what this is just ask politely.” Bellamy snickered a bit and Roan laughed a bit too. It caught Clarke's attention and she smiled at the two of them. Bellamy then continued his thought. “I have gone through too much. We have gone through too much together. For me to leave her side would probably mean I have died. I accept your offer and would do so regardless of your request, I remain at Clarke's side request or not.” Roan waited a few moments knowing the man before him was not finished his thought. “How do I know, that no harm will come to Clarke?” Bellamy questioned the man. He was comfortable doing so and he hadn’t a care in the world what anyone, even the man before him, the king, thought of him.

“That is why I request you protect her. I know that no harm will come to my ally this way because she trusts you. Given that, I trust you also. I know that no harm will come to Clarke under Bellamy Kom Skaikru’s protection, I learned that the hard way.” Roan finished chuckling forcing a laugh to leave Bellamy’s mouth again. This was weird for Bellamy, however he had a respect for Roan. Clarke and Roan had dealt with things together and they considered one another comrades. If Clarke trusted him than Bellamy saw no reason to think otherwise. He had no issue, remaining by Clarke’s side. He never planned to leave it in the first place.

 

With a sudden rush of noise and clatter among pavement Azgeda warriors swarmed the room. One in particular Bellamy recognized as Echo, now had Clarke standing with her sword pressed against her throat. The group watched in shock calling to Clarke. “Bellamy don’t” she managed to muster out with the blade pressed so hard to her throat. It was too late and Bellamy had already began to move toward them. Roan grabbed onto Bellamy holding him from advancing. Bellamy’s face held firm and pressed with anger as he pointed to them

 _“Let her go Echo, let her go!”_ Bellamy had been pulled backward by the still very sore Roan.

“Enough, this is not the time, I will handle this.” he mumbled to Bellamy so only he could hear. Bellamy stopped still tense, his glare could more than likely burn this place to the very ground. “What is the meaning of this, Echo.” Roan was standing not too far from them now, his tone serious and angry.

“A guard had let us know that you were in here, they said Wanheda had you in here preparing to harm you.” Echo spat with haste. Bellamy scoffed at the words Wanheda, he hated them. Roan chuckled as he always did.

“Does it look like the people of Skaikru have harmed me?” he remarked. He knew how to play on words and push buttons and he did so ever so casually.

“No, however that does not change the fact that Wanheda still walks” Echo said still seriously.

Roan cleared his throat analyzing the room of hostiles. “If you do not agree to what I am about to say, you will be executed. I have been given the flame, Clarke Kom Skaikru saved my life with the help of Abby. Bellamy Kom Skaikru has agreed to be my ally as well. Skaikru is the 13th clan and will remain the 13th clan. I have agreed to keep Lexa’s coalition. Any harm to Skaikru is harm to our very own.” Roan finished his eyes looking over to Bellamy, he nodded. “This is an outrage.” Echo responded, her blade pressed harder leaving drips of blood to hit the blade. “Enough, Echo” Bellamy’s voice was deep and clear, he made his way to Roans side across from where Echo stood with Clarke.

 _“Fine”_ She scoffed.

As Echo was about to let Clarke go an Azgeda warrior took his hammer hitting Clarke directly in the back of the head causing Echo to freeze in fear of what had just taken place and Clarke’s body to land in Bellamy’s as he lunged to catch her.

“Clarke!” Abby rushed over, Bellamy had her cradled.

 _“Clarke....Clarke, God please stay with me, Clarke!”_ His fingers curled around her face tangled in her sunny dirt riched hair. _“Please...I can’t do this without you.”_

Tears traced down his cheeks splashing onto Clarke’s almost lifeless body. He did not hear commotion around the room that was taking place. His forehead was pressed to hers, cradling her, pleading that there was a forgiving God. Abby was now beside him, he let go of Clarke's body still holding her hand as Abby shouted barking orders at everyone around her to get her what she needed. Abby’s eyes full of flame and fear. She watched Bellamy hold his daughters hand, his lips pressed against her hand, kissing all parts of it, tears drenching his olive cheeks. Kane had mentioned Bellamy’s vulnerability toward any situation regarding Clarke. At the time it had made her smile, to think she had someone care this much. However watching it now, it mirrored her very self and that frightened her. They cannot lose her. They will not lose her. They had moved Clarke's body to a clear part of the room, giving Abby room to work around to save her daughter. Bellamy did not leave her side. His hands cradled her one hand, his forehead pressed against the back of her hand. His eyes swelled and puffy, his cheeks still tear stained. He had sat there through all of Abby’s work, he did not leave. Octavia placed a comforting hand on his shoulder from time to time but he would not move an inch, not even his head to look at his sister. He would have them closed or pinned to Clarke. Octavia’s heart wrenched for her brother. She had hated him and expressed that she wished to cut her ties with him, that he was dead to her, but she could not help but wallow with her brother. She had never seen him in this state before. Octavia scanned the room to find Echo speaking to Roan. Octavia unsheathed her sword and made her way to them.

“This is your fault.” She stated in a run to lunge at Echo.

“Enough” Roan stood now in the way.

“Bellamy Kom Skaikru, rise.” He stated looking over to Bellamy who was lost to the world. It took him a moment to register that he had been spoken to. His groggy voice was loud enough to hear, he was sobbing but had calmed to respond.

“And why should I rise to a king who cannot keep his word, you promised that no harm would come to her. I could not.... do my job.” he stated brokenly. This didn’t sit well with Roan. After he had expressed his awareness to Bellamy this is the last thing he wanted to see.

“This was not the fault of you, but of me for not handling it with stronger authority. Had I known Echo had savages between her men she trained I would have planned better.” He remarked looking at Echo. “Why should I think to trust anyone in this room!” Bellamy said now glaring, his eyes brown and full of an ever growing river of tears.

“Because Bellamy Kom Skaikru, as my comrade, my right hand from Arkadia, I give you the honor of killing the man who did this to Clarke.This is your kill, rightfully so.”

That peaked his interest. Bellamy’s eyes grew dark looking toward them. “Bring him to me.” Bellamy said coldly. He left a soft kiss on Clarke's hand, his fingers trailed her face, Abby was there the entire time but he had not a care in the world after what had just been offered to him.

 _“it’s going to be okay.....I promise Clarke.”_ He said as his fingers stopped running against her cheek.

He leaned to kiss her forehead and gave her hand one last squeeze before rising to the occasion present to him now. He rose and turned to walk away only to halt suddenly. “Will she be okay, Abby.” he questioned coldly.

“She is stabilized, I gave her rough stitches and I have cleaned her wound. Her heart is beating quickly and I will need to keep her on watch for 72 hours before she’s in the clear but she should be okay.” he sighed heavily, almost one of relief.

“Why, other than to know her status.” Abby questioned him now.

“I just needed to know that I could leave her side for the moment.” he replied coldly. It was true, he hadn ‘t left her side this entire time and it had been hours. Bellamy traced the room making his way to Roan only to be cut off half way by Kane.

“Bellamy listen to me, this is not you, you do not do this, we talked about this, you said you were done killing.” He protested holding both Bellamy’s shoulders in place. Bellamy’s eyes only trailed to Kane's, they were dark and sinister. “Revenge is not the way to go about this, Bellamy. This is not you. You’re upset and angry for what has happened to Clarke. These Azgeda warriors know only war. They know only bad things of her. Stop this.” Kane squeezed Bellamy’s shoulder.

“I have been at war since I landed. I have my demons and I contain them. I have done so for a very long time only seeing them mildly. I control them, I control my actions. I am aware they have consequences. However this one does not. Step aside and let me do what I wish to. What I now ache to do. Do not plead for a guilty mans case.” Bellamy stated coldly still watching Kane. He could see there was no reasoning with Bellamy, not after what he just witnessed. Everyone in this room knew what was driving Bellamy to do this and Kane was the only one to try to reason. The rest knew it was a lost cause and now Kane did too.

“What do you plan to do” He questioned letting go of his pleads. He spoke coolly.

“If you do not wish to watch this, leave immediately.” Bellamy demanded so the entire room could hear. Echo opened her mouth to protest only to be silenced by Roans hand. Nobody moved. “Good then, bring him to me.” He ordered to Roans guards now standing at the door.

“How dare you speak in that tone to Azge-” Echo started only to be interrupted with another hand silencing her. It was Roans.

“Bellamy Kom Skaikru does as he wishes, he is my right, I honor that.” Roan replied looking over to Bellamy who nodded and made his way over. “Bellamy, please.” It was now Abby pleading. “Abby, this is something you wouldn’t understand. After all Clarke has been through with the grounders, how they spit a name she doesn’t even suit. Wanheda.” he remarked. “She has put herself on the line several times and now it truly was on the line. I vowed to myself the moment your daughter saved my life that I would do everything in my power to save hers. My days of killing are over but this one is deemed justifiable.” Bellamy finished clearing his throat still looking at Abby.

“I will protect her, and if anything threatens her life, I will stand in the way of it.” His eyes trailed from Abby to Clarke's resting body. She watched Bellamy’s eyes soften. Kane was right about how Bellamy was when it came to Clarke. He was ruthless, he would do anything to protect her. This was made all the more apparent now that a man was dragged across the room to kneel in front of the thrown. A gag in his mouth, his arms tied behind his back and his legs tied together at the ankles.

“How do you wish to proceed, Bellamy Kom Skaikru?” Roan questioned, now very interested to see Bellamy’s burning desire unleash. His feelings for Clarke was known by all and was confirmed tonight as he cradled her body, pleading to Gods he would never believe in. He was to execute a man in any fashion he wished. Bellamy made his way to the corner of the room closest to the thrown and he picked up one weapon. A sword with a very blue Topaz gem in the center. They reminded him of her eyes. This was the one to finish the man off. He took the sword out of its sheath and made his way to the center where the man knelt, trembling on his knees.

“Let it be known that an enemy of Skaikru is an enemy of Azgeda. Bellamy Kom Skaikru will lead this by example of what could happen if you cross these lines like this man before you.” Roan spoke giving Bellamy a nod of acceptance. A whenever you’re ready nod.

Bellamy held the sword in his hands, making circles around the trembling man. All his life he practiced with a broomstick, how to fight like a warrior based on only books. He was now familiar with the weight of the sword. He lifted the sword and held it piercing his neck and knelt down close to his ear.

“See, how does this feel?” Bellamy whispered hoarsely. He reached his hand around to remove the gag.

“Speak, plead.” Bellamy said coldly. The man said nothing but a mumble. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you, would you speak up?” Bellamy said yanking his head back by the scalp of his hair, pressing the sword further into his neck. He was now cut and bleeding, the sword left a thin line of blood across his neck.

“I meant no harm to Skaikru, only to Wanheda” He spat. Bellamy chuckled. It was sinister and hoarse and it brought chills to the entire room. Octavia had never seen Bellamy quite this sinister. Sure he threatened to kill Murphy more than a handful of times but this...was different. His eyes were dark and filled with anger, they had fear laced between. She had never seen Bellamy so vulnerable, so caught up, so broken.

“That’s your problem right there, because harming Clarke, or _Wanheda_ you all love to address her as, doesn’t sit well with anyone in this room and the worst part is you crossed me.” He said chuckling. “Enough! Bellamy that is enough!” Kane spoke up. “This is not in your hands any longer Kane. I don’t like it either.” Abby spoke. Bellamy looked at the two and looked back down at Clarke’s body.

“So Kane, being ready and willing to kill on the Ark is okay, but when I’m killing one man, for hurting someone precious to me, now it’s an issue?” Bellamy remarked sarcastically placing the gag in back in the mans mouth shoving him to the ground onto his stomach.

“This isn’t you, Bellamy.” Kane replied almost pleading.

_Bellamy please, listen to my voice, this isn’t you, you’re not a killer._

Clarke's voice ran through his thoughts and he shook his head in attempt to rid himself of it.

“A lot of things aren’t me but this, most definitely is.” he stated blankly.

“What kind of man would I be if I let this man walk after almost killing Clarke?” he questioned cocking his eyebrow up.

“One of mercy.” Kane insisted as Bellamy chuckled.

 _“There is no mercy for the damned.”_ He said coldly still staring at Kane and Abby. His eyes glued to them as he used his right hand to press the sword to the mans back, not even looking as he does it.The blade slid into the mans back, pinning him down and he turned to the man, bending his knees to crouch down as the man was breathing his last breaths. He mumbled arrogantly next to the mans ear.

 _“Long live Wanheda.”_ a light chuckle and a yank of the sword out of the mans back. He now laid lifeless. It was done. Roan could only chuckle and respond to the rooms silence. Roan wasn't a man who was easily shocked or rendered speechless but after watching Bellamy, the kindest of souls in the room, execute a man, it was a sight all on it's own. He finally speaks. “Let it be known as I repeat, Wanheda is not to be harmed. Skaikru is not to be harmed, let it too be known not to cross this man before you, I think we all learned something today.” Roan finished dismissing everyone in the room.

 

Kane made his way to Bellamy who stood staring at the mans body.

“Kane, don’t. I know what I have done and will live with it. I will not let harm come to Clarke. This to be one example to set them all. I do not wish to ever do this again. I will never let someone harm Clarke the way this took place today. I can live with myself for all my sins but if Clarke were to die I would not be able to live with myself” Bellamy finished looking at Kane's worried eyes.

“Did it make you feel better?” Kane questioned.

“No, this is not what I wish to do. I do not wish to kill and I never truly wanted to from the moment I landed on earth. However there is only one way to protect your loved ones from death and that’s staring it directly in the face. My feelings and guilt come later.” Bellamy looked over to the guards with the move of his head he ushered them over to retrieve the body. “I know how you feel about Clarke, but your actions, they are reckless. This is now one of several times you have done something reckless. You’re forgetting about yourself and putting yourself in harms way. Look at how the Azgeda warriors look at you now. You practically put a target on your back.” Kane preached.

“Roan said no harm will come, I trust him. He acquainted me his second to stay at Clarke's side to protect her for him. I do it as a personal choice and he knows this however it was still wanted. - My feelings for Clarke are the desire to protect her as I would my own family. Don’t try to talk me down from it because it wont happen.” Bellamy finished walking away.

“For your sake, Bellamy. I hope you’re right.” Kane replied sighing.

The ride home was long and exhausting, constant fear stayed in the thick air of the rover as people looked only in fear to Clarke's resting body. They had to make a makeshift bed on the floor of it and everyone kept their feet over it or under it, hardly moving worried they could disturb her. Abby had no idea the state her daughter was in, she just knew she was alive. Once they got to Arkadia they would know where to go from there.

Arkadia’s doors opened quickly to the sight of the Rover. Once parked the doors opened and Clarke was carried to the medical wing to be examined. Bellamy watched them bring her in with haste and disappear through the door. He was just as worried, he felt sick to his stomach but he knew that bombarding them could make things worse. He decided he would wait a while until he was called. A hand on his shoulder woke him from his thoughts. “If it helps and I was in your shoes, I probably would have done worse if anything happened to Bryan.” Miller stated giving Bellamy a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

Bellamy only nodded uncomfortably. He did not want to do what he did but his anger controlled him. The thought of losing Clarke was unbearable. They made their way into the medical wing shortly after only to be greeted with the group waiting and pacing for Clarke. Raven specifically pacing while Monty had his face in his hands, Harper rubbing his back, Miller greeting Monty, Kane sitting huffing impatiently. The only one absent was Jasper. The mention of Clarke no longer sat well with Jasper after what happened in Mount Weather. Jasper just wasn’t himself anymore and the group knew, they chose not to ask.

Raven’s pacing spend up and she huffed angrily.

“Can you stop pacing, please.” Monty asked raising his head to meet Raven’s face.

“no, this is taking too long, somethings not right.” She concluded.

The room fell silent. Raven was usually right about everything and the fact that those words came out of her mouth spoke more than anything. Twenty minutes passed and Abby entered the hall, everyone rising in their seat. “She’s stable with a concussion, she will heal properly and it will be weeks of healing, please don’t bombard her.” she said softly, everyone slowly nodded relieved of the news. “Bellamy, you first.” Kane and the group looked to Bellamy with small smiles.

“She would want to see you first.” Raven reassured giving him a smile. He only nodded and made his way through the tunnel of the group right down the center where everyone stood.

The doors slid closed behind him. His eyes glanced over the whole room and landed on Clarke propped upward wrapped tightly in a hospital blanket and a tee shirt. She looked so peaceful. He watched for a while, hesitated to step forward worried he would wake her. Worried in general. Seeing her like this made his insides hurt. He slowly made his way forward removing his gun and his jacket, sitting in the seat next to her. He grabbed her hand and held it close to his mouth. He was sobbing again. Kane was right when he told Bellamy that he loses control over Clarke. “I thought I lost you.” he whispered.

Moments pass as he let his feelings settle. Her hand moved in his and it startled him out of his position.

 _“Clarke?”_ he questioned, his eyes wandered her now, he was worried. Her eyes fluttered open and she winced.

 _“Clarke don’t move, it’s okay I’m here.”_ Bellamy reassured softly caressing her hand. “Bellamy...hi” he sighed and smiled at her.

“Hey, princess.” She looked puzzled and searched the room with her eyes.

“Where are we?” She questioned.

“What - Clarke we’re home, Arkadia.” Bellamy looked confused as Clarke's brow furrowed.

“I don’t know this place.” she stated flatly.

 _“Abby you better get in here, now!”_ Bellamy raised his voice loud enough for outside to hear. The group now rushed inside in a panic.

“Who’s Abby, Bellamy who are these people?” she questioned. Everyone’s mouths either dropped or their hands lifted to their mouth. Bellamy sighed heavily running his hands through his hair. He was so god damn stressed out now and the worry was all the more apparent. “Clarke what do you remember?” Abby questioned. Clarke's hands raised to her temples and she winced.

“Clarke, sweetheart it’s your mother.” Abby was at her side now.

“I don’t know any of you, get away from me.” she stated wincing and panicked.

“Abby, _please_ tell me you have an answer for this.” Bellamy pleaded as he got up now pacing stressed out, running his hands through his hair in a huff.

"Bellamy please come back, I'm scared." Clarke pleaded and Bellamy's face drained of color, the sound of her voice was so broken.

“She must have lost her memory through the trauma....that’s all I know.” Abby whispered looking over to him. “I lost my memory? what happened to me.” Clarke questioned looking to those in the room watching.

“It was just a little accident sweetheart that’s all.” Abby said reassuringly tucking one of her golden locks behind her ear. Clarke didn’t resist this time, she half leaned in.

 _“Little accident.”_ Bellamy scoffed under his breath pacing.

“Clarke, are you okay to tell me what you remember?” Abby said in her soft earth motherly tone. Clarke’s eyes searched the room and she nodded her head and replied with “Bellamy” half pointing to him. “For some reason his face is familiar, I only remember his name. I don’t know any of you or where I am, I’m scared.” she stated. Bellamy’s face went blank.

Raven let out a noise and glanced over smirking to Bellamy, “Figures she would remember you of all people.” she remarked.

“Shut up” he responded with hostility. He was beyond furious. He made haste to leave the room practically running. Bellamy couldn’t feel anything. His brain filled with thoughts and it all felt like white noise. Clarke doesn’t remember me.

  
_She only knows my name._   
_only....my name._

  
Bellamy was completely furious and for once he didn’t have answers. He made his way through the hall throwing everything in his path onto the floor. Trolleys full of paperwork, bottles, anything. His grunts like faint screams as he balled his fist and punched the metal of the wall.

Back in the room the noises were heard all to clearly,

“what the hell?” Miller asked turning towards the door with the rest.

 _“Oh God, Bellamy...”_ Octavia exclaimed running out the door. His blind rage they all know too well. The crashing noises continued on, they could hear his yelling. It startled Clarke to say the least.

“Is he okay, did I say something, I’m sorry I-” she stopped suddenly and tears slipped down her cheeks. Abby brushed her fingers across Clarke's cheek.

“No you didn’t do anything, Bellamy is just worried and he gets angry.” Abby replied, Clarke only looked to the door where all the noise was coming from.

“Miller, we should go help, Bellamy isn’t exactly a tiny guy anymore.” Monty suggested headed towards the door Miller nodded and followed.

They made their way through the hall to find Octavia frozen in place desperately trying to find words as she watched her brother ravage the place. His fists bloody, his hair a mess, the hall was a mess, glass was shattered everywhere and his arms were cut in every direction.

 _“Bell....”_ Octavia said softly but loud enough for him to hear. “Bell!” she repeated as he ignored her.

She took quick strides to reach him and grab his arm. He ripped from her grip. _“Big brother please”_ Octavia now had both her arms around him and she pushed him toward the right wall of the hallway.

“Let me go” he mumbled, exhausted, his breath hitched. _“Bell please...”_ She pleaded. The sound of his sobs wracked the hallway as he came down from his adrenaline rush, Octavia held tight to his waist.

 _“She doesn’t remember me.....”_ he expressed through his choked voice. His knees gave out and he slipped down the wall, Octavia still holding him. She moved to cradle his upper body, his head held in the crook of her neck. His broken sobs only left his body. They all knew of Bellamy’s feelings. They had been clear for a very long time. It was not only his feelings for Clarke but his memories with her. He was the only one who remembered them now. That is what broke him.

“She will remember you, I promise.” She whispered softly rubbing his tear stained cheeks.

“and if she doesn't, what then?” he spoke, his voice still broken. Miller would admit, after all that has happened between the Blake siblings, this one takes the cake.

“She will” Octavia expressed. “She remembers your name big brother, that’s a start. If you love her, help her remember...” she whispered softly, smiling. To see her put aside her feelings to help him when he was broken was something you would only read in written stories.

  
_“I will....”_ he mumbled.

He would help her remember, it would just take time.  
He didn’t want to think of what happens next.


	2. The King of the Rebels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's happiness radiates throughout Arkadia.  
> Monty's worried about Bellamy.  
> Story time with Bellamy.  
> I really don't know how to summarize chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's journey with her memories has only just begun. - Brooklyn.

It had taken Bellamy a few hours to relax with the help of his sister, Octavia. Her constant reminder of who he is and how much she loves him played a roll. Octavia couldn’t call herself someone on okay terms with her brother but she couldn’t watch him suffer. She was angry at him for a lot of different things that are now in the past and she plans to move forward with that mentality. That it’s now in the past. As much as she could hate him, he looks out for her and would do anything for her. Now that she see’s her brother in ruins she plans to do the same. There are bigger problems than her grudges and sadness. She wants to help Bellamy pick himself back up, she wants him to be happy again. In order to do that she has to get his head back in place. He’s not handling Clarke losing her memory well and she doesn’t blame him for it. Everyone but Clarke knew of his feelings before all of this took place and Octavia would make damn sure that one day Clarke would truly know. However the task at hand was getting her to remember everything else.

They had sat in the hallway for a while after Bellamy broke down. She sat in between his legs, his head cradled in her arms. He sobbed for a while, she couldn’t count the minutes for it felt like hours. His choked sobs that wracked the hallway left people who pass by to feel the same heartbreak that he was feeling. Some giving Octavia soft affectionate looks directed to both the Blake’s. Everyone in Arkadia didn’t sleep that night because Bellamy’s heartbreak radiated like wildfire.

“Octavia....what do I do.” Bellamy whispered into her hold and it startled Octavia stirring out of her position.

He hadn’t spoken a word since he agreed that he needs to help Clarke. His head lifted and his eyes shifted to meet hers. His eyes were vain and bloodshot, the bags under his eyes prominent and swelled with inflamed traces from his burning tears. He was no longer crying and his deep brown eyes only portrayed numbness.

“Now you have a big role to play, big brother. You need to be by her side and teach her what you know.” She replied with a smile brushing her fingers across his cheek.

He nodded into her touch.

“Come on big brother, lets go see her.” Octavia rose from her spot between where her brother sat and held her hand out for him. He did not take her hand, he instead rose calmly and walked passed her. She followed along side him quietly to med bay.

The doors slid open and the Blake’s walked into where Clarke was staying. Bellamy froze at the door glancing over at Clarke.

“Hey Bellamy, are you okay?” Clarke questioned with a tone of sincerity. “Go on Bell, talk to her.” Octavia nudged him and slipped through the doors before he could protest. He walked toward her and stood at the end of the bed.

“Hi...yeah I’m okay.” He replied softly. “Mind if I sit?”

“Sure” she smiled. He sat down next to her absorbing her manor-isms.

They sat in silence for a moment, his eyes wandered her face and she would look away shyly. “Everything here is weird” she stated flatly.

“I remember how to write and I can read a little. I’m walking fine, Abby said. That Jasper guy is weird, I’m in a space ship that fell from the sky and I’m surrounded by people who love me that I don’t remember” she said out loud laughing. He was taken back a bit by her laughter. It was so genuine and pure and he doesn’t remember if he ever truly got to hear it.

He couldn’t help but smile at her and take her hand in his rubbing it with his coarse thumbs.

“Abby said I’m healing well and I remember my father so I guess that’s a start.” her words reassuring his thoughts.

“Yes that’s a great start, I promise I will do all I can to help you remember everything. I will be by your side through all of this.” He responded positively. Her happiness and the perkiness of her voice was making him happy. She wasn’t in great shape but it was something for sure. She nodded with a smile to his soothing words.

“Abby said I can go to my home, my room I have here apparently. I just haven’t bothered to get up, I’m afraid.” She spoke honestly her voice trailing into a whisper as her eyes lowered to watch her fingers fiddle with the bed sheets.

“I know they will check on me but, what do I do? Bellamy what do I like?” she questioned him glancing over to him.

“Well before we came to earth you told me you liked to draw. You didn’t get to do much but from what I know you were good at it.” Bellamy answered.

“I might not know how to anymore.” she replied sadly.

“We can re-teach you to, don’t worry. You’re a brave woman and you’re kind. You could help around the Ark and ask if anyone needs anything and you can learn things that way too.” Bellamy tried to respond as positively as he could. He was just as worried about all the things he’s covering with her.

“Okay.” she responded with a little smile. “That I can do.” A few seconds pass and Abby enters the room.

“Okay Clarke, time to get you settled back in your room. You’re healed enough to walk on your own, your memory will come back in time but for now little steps.” Abby spoke walking toward her.

“I don’t want to go to my room I will have to be alone, Abby.” Clarke stated firmly her eyes looking over to Bellamy. Guess one thing didn’t change, she’s still bloody stubborn.

“Clarke you can’t sleep in here anymore the bed might be needed for a new patient, you need to get familiar with your surroundings.” Abby replied with a smile. She had to be honest with Clarke in order for things to begin to jog her memory.

“There’s an empty room across from Clarke’s, I will move in to it so she’s not alone.” Bellamy replied looking at both the girls.

“Okay.” Abby replied.

“I will leave her in your hands, you know how busy I get here sometimes. Please look after her.” Bellamy only nodded as he watched Abby kiss her daughters forehead, she left the room seconds after.

The room was silent as Clarke swung her feet over across the bed opposite of Bellamy and she rose to her feet. She tensed a bit.

“Clarke....is everything okay?” Bellamy looked over at her tense body, his eyes full of worry.

“yes” she giggled. “The floor is really cold on my toes.” He laughed and picked up her socks off the small table. He made his way over to the side of the bed she stood on, he looked down and she curled her toes. He laughed at her wrinkled nose and said

“sit on the bed I’ll put them on.” “Okay” she sat down and he took one of her feet slipping the sock on. The warmth of his hands and the sock sent small happy sensations through Clarke’s body. She giggles and moves her toes around making it difficult for Bellamy to put the last sock on, he huffs and laughs at her giggle trying to reach to grab her foot. He remembers when Octavia used to do this and watching Clarke find joy in making things difficult for him was a start. She finally gave in after he started to tickle her feet.

“Bellamy oh god no please, I guess I’m ticklish there ah- stop!” she says in between giggles kicking her feet. He’s sitting on the floor next to the bed practically howling with laughter, she’s laying on the bed laughing hysterically too. The sudden noise of footsteps and the door sliding open doesn’t even halt them from the laughter. He was still tickling her feet and what a sight it was for Monty and Raven to see. Clarke finally looked over, Bellamy did as well.

"Oh hi guys, sorry was it Monty and....Raven?” She questions out of breath. Monty and Raven couldn’t help but smile wildly from ear to ear at not only what they had just witnessed but the fact that she knew their names. Her eyes widened as they smiled at her.

_“_ _I remembered! Bellamy!_ I remembered their names! I didn’t even ask Abby!” she said shouting and smiling with pure joy, her hands raised in the air, Bellamy put her other sock on while she was excited and said

“Great job, Clarke. - See I told you, one step at a time.” he expressed smiling rising to his feet.

She flung herself at him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. He stood in shock for a while as she held to him, his arms eventually wrapping around her. Reminding him of the time they reunited after the events of the drop ship.

A memory he would never forget.

“We just came to check on you and see what all the commotion was about but I see she’s in good hands.” Monty mused smiling at the two.

“Thanks guys.” Bellamy replied. Raven and Monty left the room, the noise of the doors closing to follow.

“They seem really nice, Bellamy” Clarke said bringing her shoes to sit on the chair.

“They are and they’re people who really love you, Clarke. Everyone loves you here.” Bellamy replied softly.

She smiled and slipped her shoes on both her feet and looked down at them, her brows furrowing.

“What is it?” he asked her as he watched her sigh.

_“I don’t know how to tie these.”_ she stated flatly. He smiled and walked over to her. He knelt down to them and replied.

“let me teach you.” she sat and listened as he explained the bunny rabbit in the hole version, she laughed and said it was dumb and cute, he laughed with her as she took his hand and stood to find balance in the shoes, she said they felt weird.

“I guess I better get used to these because I don’t want to have cold toes anymore.” she said giggling.

“It’s freezing in this place do we have heat here?” she asked covering her hands over her opposite arms crossing them rubbing.

“you’re cold? here.” he took his jacket that was on the back of the chair and helped her put one arm through one sleeve and one through the next. She looked at him and her eyes glistened. For a while they stood there looking into each others eyes. Just getting lost for a while as he normally would, in those deep blue eyes. “Come, let me show you your room.” he insisted walking with her towards the door. The made their way down the halls of the Ark. He watched her eyes widen at all the things she was taking in for the first time again. Everyone who they passed waved to her and Bellamy, smiling at her with purity.

“Why do I know everyone, why do we know everyone?” she questioned him as they were walking side by side.

“You and I took care of everyone when we landed, we were leaders.” he replied happily as her eyes glowed. “I was a leader? that’s odd.” she giggled. “A damn good one too.” he replied smiling.

  
They reached her room and she stopped dead in her tracks.

“Clarke, it’s okay. It’s your home.” he touched her shoulder, she turned back to find reassurance in his eyes and once she did she used the key to open it. The room was brisk and left the way she had left it before she left for the events in Polis. She wandered inside with him and he closed the door not speaking, only letting her take in her environment. “This is rather nice actually.” she said softly. The rooms they had were small but acquaint. They had a small living room and a door that lead to the bedroom and the bathroom. It was simplistic and she loved it.

“Here take the extra key.” Clarke added, he nodded and took it.

“Okay, so explore around a bit and I-” she had cut him off and turned to look at him standing by the door.

“Please don’t go yet.” she pleaded softly, her eyes trailing from his to the ground. He nodded.

“Okay, I’ll stay for a while.” he smiled at her. She slipped off his jacket and made her way over to the couch, he followed along side her and sat not too far from her. She untied her shoes and left them at the base of the couch grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapping it around herself.

“still cold, huh?” he said cheekily.

“This place is a fridge” she mumbled. They sat for a while in silence and he took that moment to wrap his arm around her and pull her close.

_“Thank you.”_ she got comfortable in the crook of his neck, her legs swung over his - his arm resting on her thigh running circles around it. “I don’t know why I’m so comfortable around you, you’re a stranger.” she said softly as her breath tickled his neck. Those words, he admit, stung a lot. To him she wasn’t a stranger but to her, he now was. He would eventually grow to understand that.

“You and I spent a lot of time working together, we were always together, that’s why nobody is surprised that you only remember me.” Bellamy responded tucking one of her curls behind her ear. She nodded and smiled resting her head back on his shoulder.

“Tell me a story...” she mumbled softly.

_He began with Romulus and Remus._

Somewhere in between his voice she had fallen asleep, her breathing was steady and quiet. He stayed for a while running his fingers over her waist and hip to soothe her when she would unsettle. Another hour had passed and he decided that he should let her rest while he moved into the room across the hall. He completely forgot about it. He gently loosened himself from her hold slipping under her legs and laying her head gently down on the pillow. He caressed her cheek and her face relaxed. He made sure he flicked the lamp on for her to wake up to and he left gently closing the door slipping his jacket that now smelt like her over his shoulders.

Bellamy made his way down the hall to where his old room was running into Monty on the way there.

“You’re missing something here but I can’t quite figure out what....or should I say who.” he put his hand up to his chin cheekily examining Bellamy’s figure.

“hah - funny” Bellamy responded.

“You busy?” he asked Monty.

“Not really things are boring around here now that nobody is trying to kill us” Monty stated with a laugh.

“I need some help moving rooms, you mind?” Bellamy asked him as they walked in the direction toward his room.

“Sure,where you moving to?” he asked.

“Abby told Clarke it was time to reestablish herself in her room but Clarke’s not fond of being alone and Abby is far too busy to be with Clarke all the time so I offered to live across from her and look out for her.” Bellamy responded turning the lock in the door.

“Ah babysitting.” Monty mumbled. Bellamy didn’t respond to what he said and began grabbing the bits of stuff he had and put them in boxes.

“I don’t have much but I figured the company would be nice” Bellamy said as he walked from place to place in the room.

“Clarke’s not going to be like this forever, Bellamy. - I mean clinging to you. Once she get’s her memories back it will be back to normal.” Monty spoke honestly bracing for Bellamy’s witty response. Only he said much of nothing at all.

“I know.” he grunted.

“Don’t get attached, she’s just afraid and you’re all she knows.” he spoke again insistingly.

“You think I don’t already know that?” Bellamy snapped his head up from the box he was packing. “easy” Monty said smoothing him out. “I don’t know how you and Clarke were before she lost her memory but if she comes back to reality and doesn’t feel the same I don’t want you to get hurt.” Monty was being truthful and honest and as much as Bellamy hated to hear it he appreciated his words.

“What do you know about Clarke’s feelings?” he questioned Monty.

“She didn’t talk much but we all figured there was something between you both but nobody asks.” Monty picked up two of the boxes as Bellamy finished and switched off the light. They headed towards his new home.

They arrived and his room was much the same as Clarke’s just mirrored. Placing the box down and the keys on the table he sat on his new couch and sighed, Monty sitting next to him. “Long day?” Monty asked propping his feet up on the table, Bellamy did the same.

“Something like that.” Bellamy huffed in response.

“What’s she like now?” he asked looking over at Bellamy. “

She asks a lot of questions, gets excited over small stuff like a kid.” he laughed a bit to himself.

“I can tell from earlier, everyone in the ark heard her laughter. It lightened the mood everyone was in. Maybe this whole thing is good, not her getting hurt, her being this delightful to be around. She’s making people around the ship feel positive and I saw so many smiles today when Clarke was released.” Monty said happily and finished with a deep breath.

“I’m just glad she’s okay...” Bellamy nodded to his words.

“All of the smiles she gave to the people she didn’t even know, they smiled at her, she of course questioned it. Her eyes would light up at the smallest thing...” Bellamy trailed off. “When things get a bit better with her I want to get us all together to enjoy the light she radiates.” Bellamy was no doubt-ably referring to who was left of the delinquents.

Monty nodded agreeing. “Sounds like a treat.”

Bellamy unpacked the bits of things he had after Monty left. He didn’t have much at all really. He had his books and his jacket, some other things he picked up wandering around the Ark. Once he was finished he hung up his old jacket on a peg in the wall and thought to check on Clarke given it had been a few hours now since and she should be awake wondering where he was. He was fond of that thought and found a pinch of happiness in the idea that she was relying on him in a different way than she normally would.

  
He left his room taking the three steps to hers. He turned the key in the lock and opened it to find the room empty and the blanket cold. She must have left, but where was she? she didn’t know much about outside the Ark. Bellamy was now in a panic. He closed the door leaving quickly and rushed his way down the halls. It was the middle of the night, where could she be? - he was worried about her head still, as much as she could be up and walking he didn’t know how much of it she could do without possibly hurting herself more. His light jog turned into more of a run as he looked in several rooms, bouncing from door, to door. He decided the next place to check would be outside.

Bellamy rushed through the front doors, his eyes scanning Arkadia for traces of his forgetful blonde with a sunny disposition. He ran towards the guards on the watch decks and shouted up to them. “Have you seen, Clarke?” one of them turned to him and put their finger to their mouth to shush him.

“Hey- I was talking” he was cut off by the guard pointing out toward the field.

  
Bellamy walked over to the gate and looked through the bars to see Clarke with her knee’s up facing away, her eyes up looking at the starry skies. He looked over to the guard and he nodded letting Bellamy open the gate. He made his way through the damp grassy field grunting at the dips in the field.

“Oh, hey, Bell.” - Bell? “Oh sorry I heard Octavia call you that so I kind of thought I would try it....” she was watching his mild confusion.

“No it’s alright.” he mumbled and sat down next to her. “couldn’t sleep?” she shook her head in response.

“I woke up and it felt kind of stuffy in my room so I decided to get fresh air.” she responded happily.

“I just asked the guard if I could sit in the grass and they said sure so long as I don’t wander off. I guess Abby has some rules down for me.” Clarke finished sighing a bit. Bellamy looked behind at the guards, they were nowhere to be found. He assumed shift change or to give them privacy, he wasn’t going to complain either way.

  
“Bellamy, what’s space like?” Clarke asked as Bellamy came back from being lost in thought.

“You want my honest opinion?” he asked curiously. _“yes” - “It stinks.”_ he laughed a bit to her widened eyes.

“Like it smells?” she questioned genuinely. This made him laugh more.

_“No, no,_ I mean it’s even more stuffy up there. Sure the view from the Ark was nice but Earth is a better place for sure.” he finished speaking and laid down on the grass next to her. It was so damp and he had not a care in the world and apparently she didn’t either as she too laid next to him.

“Sorry for falling asleep while you were talking earlier” she mumbled as her eyes glistened under the stars. He turned his head towards her.

“That’s okay” he responded genuinely.

“I think I remember something, it’s only small and nothing significant but, I remember falling and someone catching me. I was reminded when I felt your hands on my skin. Was it you?” she asked him now looking into his eyes. The blues in her eyes spoke to him in ways he would never understand. He nodded with a light chuckle. “We didn’t get along at first, I almost dropped you.” She gaped at this and smacked his shoulder. He laughed and turned over on his side to face her.

“You ass....” she mumbled, he laughed and poked her side letting out a little squeak. She turned over on her side to face him. “Why didn’t we get along if you said we spent so much time together?” she asked and was leaning on her arm now.

“Because I was an asshole.” he stated bluntly with a light chuckle.

“Ah” she said smiling. “Well not enough of one to let me plummet to my death so I guess that’s a start.” she said laughing.

“After a while you’re protect everyone - persona rubbed off on me.” he said nonchalantly gesturing his hands. “Ah bad guy turns good.” she mocked with a giggle. “something like that.” he agreed.

The ark sent us down with metal wrist bands to track our vital signs and I wanted to take them off so we could live without the people on the Ark.

  
“Sounds ridiculous, Bellamy.” she smirked. _“King of the delinquents, ruler of the Rebels! ha ha!”_ in her mocking pretend male tone her arm shot up into the sky.

  
He rolled his head back laughing.

“King you say? I was a mess.” he admitted through his laughter. “You got us here, that’s some courage.” she smiled at him. She didn’t know how or why Bellamy was so important to her but she was starting to understand why she was around him so often. His deep brown eyes and freckles were infectious. The Clarke she was had to have seen that much. She helped change him into the man he is today and she couldn’t help but thank the her she was for helping him.

“Thanks, Clarke.” he spoke interrupting her thoughts. “For what?” she was confused.

  
“I haven’t laughed like this in a while, I’m glad you’re here with me.” he said honestly as the words rolled off his tongue, he laid back on his back again and watched the sky and the stars glimmer.

  
She moved closer to him and laid on the arm he had sprawled out. Her body close enough to touch his but not enough to smother him. They spent the rest of that night as he pointed to the sky explaining the constellations. Somewhere in between, Clarke fell asleep again.

It was getting much later into the night, the sun would rise in about an hour if he remembered correctly. How many nights he sat on this watch tower waiting for Clarke to come back home after she left him for months. He never blamed her, mount weather was a burden they both used to bare. Him more so now that she doesn’t remember. He wonders what it’s going to be like for her to start remembering the worst things. He reminded himself that he would tell her why her decisions were good ones. He had to or it would break her.

He turned his head to look over at Clarke who had.....fallen asleep again.

  
He couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle. He slipped his arm out from underneath her and took his jacket off and slipped it back on her. He lifted her sleeping body and carried it bridal style back through the Arkadia gates. This head injury made her a heavy sleeper.

  
He walked into the Ark, her head in the crook of his neck as he held her tight. Miller was getting ready for his sift as he made eye contact with Bellamy who was carrying her. Miller’s eyes softened to the sight as he saw Raven trailing not too far behind him. She too made a little face at it and Bellamy gave them a “be quiet” - look. He brought her back to her room and gently placed her on her bed removing her shoes and placing the blanket over top of her tucking her in. He decided to leave the jacket on her in the mean time since she complained about the cold quite often. He looked at her for a little while before leaving her shoes at the door and closing it behind him.

___Things were looking up after all._ _ _


	3. A day trip, brave princess?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories of the drop ship surface and Clarke ask's Bellamy to take her to it.  
> Brave princess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is sensitive and fluffy.  
> Hope you're enjoying the chapters. -Brooklyn.

Clarke woke up to the sound of people working outside and pattering of footsteps down the halls. Now that all of what they have been through was over they were patching up the Ark and making it even more of a home for all of Arkadia. However her room was silent. She remembers being outside with Bellamy, looking at the constellations and laughing at his stories. She somehow ended up in her bed amidst it all. Clarke sat up from he warmth of her bed sheets with a groan and a smell that was all to familiar clung to her. She was wearing Bellamy’s jacket. Did he put this on me? Did I fall asleep again? I have a really awful habit of falling asleep on him.

Clarke hummed in amusement remembering last night with Bellamy. His deep voice and his deep brown eyes had her dreaming of him. The sudden realization that he carried her all the way to her room had her smiling from ear to ear. Her memory was very fuzzy of everything she used to know but what she knew now...it was a new day and she wanted to seize it. Clarke rose to her feet and took his jacket off and placed it onto her bed. Today’s a new day. She headed to her bathroom to shower. She peeled off her clothes she had clearly been wearing far too much and hopped into the shower once the water was warm enough. She used this soap Harper learned how to make that smelt like fresh lavender. She soaked herself in the water and the soap made her skin feel delicate and smooth.

Once she was finished she wrapped herself around and under her armpits in a towel. The room was foggy from the heat of the shower and she took her hand and wiped the mirror. She looked at her hair, it was all nappy and thick. Clarke decided it was time for a trim and had no patience to wait for someone else to do it. She took the scissors that sat on the side of the sink and cut bits off. She cut it to just below her shoulders and let the hair fall into the sink. After cutting it all and making sure it was even she fluffed it around a bit. “Much better.” she smiled to herself brushing it out. She took pieces of her hair on both sides and pinned it back. A look she remembers that she loved. Just remembering something that small made her happy.

She went into the bedroom and into her closet to find something decent to wear. She knows that they don’t have much down here, clothing wise. She pulled out a little blue long sleeve that had buttons down the center and a pair of black pants. She had this really nice jacket she wasn’t sure where she got it from but it sat nicely on her. She debated for a while to keep Bellamy’s jacket on once she was dressed but blushed a little and passed off that idea figuring he would still want to wear it. Once she was dressed she slipped her socks on and took Bellamy’s jacket with her into the living room. She placed it on the couch next to her after grabbing her shoes. She sat down with them in front of her. Okay Clarke, you can do this. Just as he taught you, weird bunny through the rabbit hole thing. She giggled. She’s been doing a lot of that lately. - She tied them perfectly and stood there proud of herself. She grabbed Bellamy’s jacket and decided it was her turn to pay him a visit.  
Clarke walked to Bellamy’s home across from hers and lightly knocked. No answer so she lightly knocked again prompting a loud groan from behind the door. She brought her hand up to her mouth to cover it from laughing.

Bellamy swung open the door to meet her glowing aquamarine eyes. His hair was a complete mess and his eyes slowly widened.

“Clarke...hi” he mumbled.

“Hi Bellamy, I was just returning this.” she gestured the jacket in her hands.

He half smiled and opened the door to let her in.

“What time is it - never mind don’t want to know. I got you a spare key in case you need it, it’s on the table. Make yourself at home I’m going to get dressed.” he spoke lazily and went into his bedroom.

She guessed he was in his pajama’s of some sort. They were grey track pants and a white tee shirt. Clarke looked around his home and found it to be the same as her own making it a little easier to navigate through. Her eyes landed on a jacket hung on a hook of the wall. It sent all too familiar sensations through her body. She remembers it now, very faintly, but it belonged to him and he wore it a long time ago, when she first met him. She trails her fingers along the rips and the seams and compares it with her eyes to the jacket she put on the couch. So many memories. She lifts the jacket off the hook and takes off her own slipping Bellamy’s old jacket on. It smelt like him as did his home. It was a smell she couldn’t describe with any other word other than his name.

Bellamy made haste in his shower and changed rather quickly to follow. He threw on what he normally wore and slipped new socks on. Bellamy really didn’t have much in his closet. I guess living on earth does that. He fiddled with his belt and holster slipping them on and headed out into his living room and what he saw left him speechless. Clarke was standing in the middle of his living room wearing his jacket that was a little bit too big for her.

_She looked so perfect and downright adorable, this had to be illegal._

“Hey, I remember you wearing this, sorry I kinda wanted to try it on it looked comfortable.” she smiled sincerely with the tilt of her head. His eyes wander her for a while and hers wander him. That’s something that didn’t change with her memory, the way her eyes wandered him, longing and pure.

“It looks great on you, Clarke.” he finally spoke pulling them both out of deep thought.

“You think?” her smile widened as he nodded. He turned his head to the side a bit as he noticed her hair was shorter.

“You cut your hair?” he questioned. She shot her hands up to her hair in a panic.

“Why does it look bad? I was worried it would I-” he cut her off.

“No, I just noticed, it looks really nice short, that’s all.” he watched her cheeks go flush.

“Thanks Bellamy....hey do you know anyone who has a tie for hair or something.” she questioned pushing her hair off her shoulders.

“Why is it bothering you down all the time?” he asked walking towards her. “Yeah it heats up my neck and makes me feel gross.” she admitted honestly. She did have her hair down all the time.

“Come here and sit down,I have one, I’ll braid it for you.” Bellamy insisted grabbing her arm lightly moving her to the couch.

She sat down and he climbed onto the couch behind her and sat on the back cushion, she was between his legs that were propped up. He took her little pin out that held the two parts of her hair at the back of her head and worked his hands through her hair gently being careful not to irritate her wound. She hummed with light pleasure at the feeling of his fingers in her hair.

He could only smile at it and he began to gather and braid it.

“Where did you learn how to braid hair, let me guess, Octavia?” Clarke asked practically answering her own question.

“Yes, I learned how to braid hair when I was really young, Octavia loved it so I learned how so I could make her smile.” Bellamy admitted softly. Clarke smiled. “That’s lovely.” A moment of silence passed between them.

“Hey Bellamy, you said you landed in a ship right? that’s where I remember this jacket from, is the ship still there?” Bellamy tensed a little and she felt it. She turned around with a questioning look on her face. He shook his head out of his jumbled thoughts and nodded.

“Yeah it’s still there, would you like me to take you to see it?” he wasn’t sure how much of a good idea that would be. He was worried it would make her scared or make her think too much. He finished the braid off with a tie he had on his wrist. The tie he had on his wrist belonged to Octavia, he just never took it off after their relationship fell apart. After the other day with O, he felt it starting to bloom again.

“Yes I would really like that.” Clarke said turning back to smile at him.

“Okay.” He stood climbing off the couch going over to the door to put his boots on. Clarke put his jacket back on the hook and put hers back on, picking up Bellamy’s jacket and walking towards him holding it out not too far from her chest to give it to him. He rose from tying his boots.

“Oh, thanks.” He took it and slipped it on.

“We need to pick up a few things before we leave but we will be good once we get them.” He smiled at her ushering her to the door, he placed his hand on her back and followed her out.

They stop by the weapon supply and Bellamy picks up his gun that has a little B.B carved into the lower handle. It amuses him how everyone knows not to touch it. He grabs a radio and put’s it on his holster.

“What do we need all of this for.” Clarke asked innocently.

“We are safe but it’s always just in case, don’t worry.” he said reassuringly giving her a small pocket knife. “I’m going to eventually have to teach you how to defend yourself.” he chuckles lightly remembering the day he taught her how to shoot in the bunker.

“What’s funny” she looked at him quirking her eyebrow up.

“I taught you how to use a gun like this one a few days after we landed, you loved it.” he smiled at her. “I guess two times the charm then huh” she remarked poking him in the chest.

_Her touch sent his body aflame._

  
Bellamy held his radio to his mouth and pressed a button to it.

“Miller, you copy?” silence for a moment.

“Bellamy, what’s up?” 

“I’m taking Clarke out of Arkadia for some of the day, if anyone asks she’s with me and she’s fine.”

“Oh, is it a date? how romantic.”

“shut up, Miller. Just keep this information away from Abby, she would lose it and I would like to keep my head today.”

“Fine, over.” Clarke giggled at the banter between them.

“Aren’t you worried other people heard that?”she questioned.

“No, it’s a private com, we only use it with classified information but I assume this should be classified, Rebel Princess over here.” he smirked at her as she gave him a light smack on his chest.

“Once I remember why you call me that I will smack you harder” he laughed at her annoyance.

“oh the sequel, Rebel Princess fights back” he mocked laughing as she rolled her eyes and let out a laugh, she couldn’t pretend to be mad and she was horrible at it.

“Alright, alright, lets go.” they left Arkadia outside a hole in the fence that was well hidden on the east side of camp.

“The forest’s are really beautiful, Bellamy” Clarke states as they walk together through some paths.

She ducks under tree branches and brushes her hands across the bark of some. Watching her glow this way made butterflies pool in his stomach. She didn’t wait for Bellamy to answer. “Can you tell me a story on our way there about what you and I did, anything you remember, please.” she asked innocently with a little skip to her step brushing her hands over some of the bushes.

“Well, where do I begin.” he said sarcastically.

“tell me something good.”

“Well I wouldn’t deem this good but a sickness passed through our camp when the people of the ground wanted to take over our camp and kill us, you took care of everyone, even me and the best part the camp went chaotic at one point and you took one of the guns and shot it a few times in the air and spooked everyone, you looked bad ass Clarke, and then when someone threatened you I knocked them in the face. I think that’s when you and I really started to grow some similar leader like qualities. We began to work as a team a lot better and it’s been like that ever since.” he smiled at the back of her head

“So there was people on the ground after all and they wanted a war with us? that’s silly.’ - he laughed at this because it truly was.

“Yeah we set off flares to try to get the Arks attention and it ended up burning a village to the ground, we had no idea but they took it the wrong way.” he joked, she laughed along.

“I took care of everyone, was I good at that?” she questioned walking across a fallen tree, Bellamy taking her hand walking next to it helping her cross it.

“You’ve always been looking after everyone, it’s what makes you a great leader.” he admitted to her as she made a little jump off the end of the tree.

“So the Ark wasn’t safe anymore so we came to earth?” she questioned.

“Yeah it was running out of oxygen so they sent 100 of us down here” - she paused walking. _“Why was I sent down here.”_ she asked turning to him and he stopped to look at her.

“I think you should talk to Abby, but I know it’s because you knew about the life support dying.” - “Is that why I feel tense around her? I’m starting to piece it together. My body has a lot of unused hostility and I feel it around her.” she admitted and continued walking. “I don’t want to overload your senses today, I know of it all but I want you to remember at your own pace, okay?” he says honestly and she smiles and nods. She doesn’t pry.

They make it to the clearing where the ship is and her mouth gapes.

“Welcome to the Rebel Kingdom” he mocks chuckling walking ahead of her. She stumbles on to follow behind him.

  
“So you said I saved your life here?” she asked curiously, her eyes wandering her surroundings.

“Actually yes, more than once.” he responded quickly.

“What? tell me about the second time.” They stopped in the center of the clearing.

“You and I found out about a bunker after we contacted the ark and we went together. That’s the day I taught you to shoot. However one of our own was working on the sidelines for a guard on the ark and hired him to come after us and kill me.” she listened intently. “This kid named Dax had a gun to me and you found us and held the gun up to him just as I taught you, unfortunately you fired a blank and he began to shoot at you so I ducked into him and shoved him to the ground. You ran at him and he used the end of the gun to hit you in the gut, he struggled trying to knock me out to shoot me and I took a bullet that sat next to my head and shoved it into his jugular. After he had fallen I scrambled over crawling to make sure you were okay. I didn’t believe in myself and you told me that you needed me and that everyone did. I started to believe in myself that day thanks to you, that's how you saved me. You told me to come home with you. I was going to leave and you taught me how to believe in myself again. That's how you saved me, Clarke..” He finished his eyes trailing over to Clarke who was in muffled tears.

_“Clarke....hey...none of that.”_ Bellamy grabbed her and pulled her into his chest. She pressed her body close touching his chest with her hands. His arms fully wrapped around her trembling shoulders.

“You saved my life, Bellamy.” she said choking on her words. “and you saved mine countless time’s after. It’s what you and I do.” he smiled into her hair and pressed a light kiss to her wound.

She winced a little. “sorry” he mumbled, his face still in her hair. They stood there for a while in a comfortable embrace. Neither of them made a point to move for quite some time.

 

“Bellamy did you bring some food, I’m hungry.” she said with a light giggle followed by gurgling of her stomach.

“Oh, yeah, lets feed that beast inside you before it grows.” he said sarcastically. He held her hand and brought her over into the shade and leaned against the drop ship. He took out two bags of berries and grain and gave her one with a little flask of water.

“Isn’t berries and grain something I really like.” she asked tilting her head to look at him.

“Yes, that’s why I packed it.” he smiled sincerely drinking from his flask. “What else do you know about me?” she questioned cocking her brow up with a little smile.

"You sure ask a lot of questions.” he remarked as he watched her face go into a light pout. “I’m kidding - well you love the sound of rain, you’re very brave when you believe in yourself. You’re stubborn and strong and most definitely stand up to anyone who gets in your way, including me.” he gestures to himself and continues. “You’re a leader, you’re smart and you’re breathtaking when you take charge of a situation, it’s beautiful actually.” he finished smiling over at her. Clarke’s cheeks went a flush pink and her smile widened.

“Careful, you could fit a coat hanger in that smile.” he remarked smirking at her. She put both her hands on her cheeks now embarrassed.

“Bellamy...” she groaned irritably.

“I’m kidding of course.” he reassured her pulling her hands away from her cheeks.

She sat and ate quietly with him for a while, enjoying the warm breeze.

“Bellamy, why were you sent to earth?” something like this peaked her interest for a while but she hadn’t the courage to ask until it just slipped out. His eyes looked over to her as he deadpanned. “If you don’t want to talk about it I understand sorry -” Clarke spoke softly pulling a raspberry out of the little bag.

“No, my story is just, not like everyone else's.” he mumbled, his head tilted upward watching the clouds roll by and the tree’s sway to the breeze. She listened intently and he began to speak. “On the Ark, you were only ever allowed to have one child. My mother got pregnant with Octavia and she decided to keep it. Octavia was born and we had to keep her hidden under the floor when inspection time came around which was frequent... It went on like this her entire life. It was difficult and I used to make her repeat these words “I’m not scared.” It helped only for a little while but as she grew older it became increasingly difficult to ration food between the three of us on a two person ration, someday's I wouldn’t eat so she could. I trained and was eventually put on the guard, I could provide so much more for my mother and O, that it didn’t matter the hard work. There was a masquerade ball they hosted on the Ark for everyone and I took that as an opportunity to let her leave our home. Nobody would recognize her, sneak her in and out wearing a mask. I wanted to see her smile over something more than braiding her hair or books I read to her. Unfortunately the dance was stopped and everyone was ID’d. They discovered Octavia and our mother....was floated. I was removed from the guard and became a janitor, they took Octavia from me and locked her up. Commander Shumway, my commander, offered me a way to save Octavia after he told me they were sending all of the delinquents to the ground. I took that offer with no regard to my repercussions, I shot the chancellor and slipped onto the ship, to come to the ground to protect her. Making me #101 of the kids on the ground and the oldest amongst us all.” he finished smiling a bit.

“Floated means killed right? - I’m sorry I’m just trying to understand everything. So that’s why the ark life support was dying? too many people? they used the prisoners as bait and sent us to the ground that’s awful.” she mumbled collecting her thoughts.

“Yeah they said it would be uninhabitable for a very long time but because they were running out of time on the Ark, they sent all of us down here practically to die.” he still hated that fact but doesn’t regret it. Clarke closed her eyes and leaned her head back to rest on the ships metal.

“I think I remember something....or someone.” she says softly, he his eyes dart to her. “This boy, he used to spend a lot of time with me on the Ark, I’m trying to figure out his name....he was here with us too..” she spoke anxiously trying to collect her thoughts and memories.

“His name was Wells I think?” Bellamy nodded.

“yes, he was glued to you.” he added.

“So what happened to Well’s?”

“Uh, we lost him early. He cared a lot for you, he even loved you I’m sure.” he replied delicately.

“I remember playing chess with him and his father was important right?” he chuckled.

“He was the chancellor and you told me he was close to your parents.”

“I remember that yes.” she said softly.

“Thank you Bellamy, you’re a lot of help. I’m kind of glad you’re not telling me it all and letting me figure it out...” she adds wiping a tear from her cheek releasing light sobs. Bellamy took her left hand and tangled his fingers into hers. “It’s going to be okay, Clarke.” he reassures her with a light squeeze. It was fascinating to see her brain piece things together when he spoke. It was almost natural the way her memories came back to her. They sat there for a long time enjoying one another's company before he guides her back home.

On the way back through the trail Bellamy’s radio goes off and Abby’s voice rings through it.

“Bellamy Blake, where is Clarke!” - “You better answer this second!” Clarke glances to Bellamy who stopped dead in his tracks, his eye roll and his deadpanned face had her giggling.

She took the radio out of his holster, Bellamy moved by her casual behavior around him. Something she used to do without asking - grabbing his walkie.

“Hi, it’s Clarke.”

“Clarke? where are you?”

“It’s okay...Bellamy just took me out for a while, I asked him to, don’t worry.”

“Bellamy she’s not supposed to be out, I thought you knew that. It’s too dangerous for her she’s still in her early recovery stages.” Bellamy reaches and takes the radio from Clarke. Bellamy takes a few steps away from her.

“Abby the only way Clarke is going to get through this is by weeding out her memories bit by bit...I took her to the drop ship.”

“Are you serious? the drop ship? Bellamy this could harm her! it could strike fear into her! are you trying to kill her?” Abby questioned furiously.

This reminded him of when Clarke returned after escaping Mount Weather. He couldn’t blame Abby for being a drill Sargent of a parent, she was fearful of what could happen to Clarke. He understood that and shared that fear, however, that didn’t stop it from being down right frustrating.

“Bring her home, now.” Abby only replies after his side of radio silence. He slips the radio back onto his holster and looks over to Clarke who’s brows are furrowed at him.

“Bellamy, are my memories bad.” she whispers but loud enough for him to hear her. He takes the few steps towards her and places his hands on her shoulders. She tilts her head up to look at him.

“We did things we had to, Clarke. They weren’t all good but we did them together. Survival is a fickle thing down here and your bravery got us through it. I can’t say they’re all pleasant but when you do remember them I will be here to tell you why you did the things you did, why we did the things we did.” he finished giving her a small reassuring smile. Her eyes traced his freckles, they reminded her of constellations. She nods still eyeing him.

“Have patience, okay.” he takes her hand and guides her home.

The rest of the way home he told her a bit about the group she was close with. He told her about Monty’s smarts and how him and Raven saved them all countless times. How Murphy was a pain in the ass and caused a lot of problems but was still a trusted Ally in the end. How wonderful it was to see Miller and Bryan together. How amusing it was to watch Jasper and Monty joke around. How Jasper was a little sad over the events and that she should try to steer clear of him for a while. How Harper and Monty were flirting and when it was pointed out they would scatter until Raven caught them in bed. He covered over the tiniest details that made her smile. Her happiness as she held his hand, she swung it and danced around him asking questions. It was a delight to see her happiness.

Once they returned to Arkadia Clarke decided that she should get some rest. She was exhausted and Bellamy understood that all too well, his thighs had a light burn to them as well.

“Are you going to be okay?” he mumbled letting go of her hand at her door.

“Yeah I think so, thanks again Bellamy...” she nodded smiling softly, his response was a small smile. Their proximity was close and to him it was heady and suffocating. With a lift of her hand she poked his nose.

“See you later.” She closed the door and Bellamy stood there for a while confused at the gesture. It was cute and flirty? Clarke was flirting with him and he had no idea how to react to it. He wouldn’t feel right to flirt back but he was having trouble keeping it at bay. He wanted to flirt back, he had a full want and desire to do so but Monty’s words of warning kept him away from it. However he wasn’t sure how long he could keep this up.

Bellamy headed to storage to put his weapons back and anything he took with him.

“Hey, Bellamy.” Bryan said lifting his hand to wave, he was putting weapons away from their hunting trip from earlier that day.

“Just returning these.” Bellamy said placing them down on the table in front of him.

“Ah, back from the little day trip?”

“Why does everyone know about it?” Bellamy huffed irritably.

“Abby ran around Arkadia worried Clarke had walked off alone, she even made weapons bay do an inventory check, then she realized you were gone and Kane put her in her place, according to Harper anyway.” Bryan answered with a little chuckle. Bellamy put a mental note down to thank Marcus later.

“I understand why she’s worried but she should try to understand without being a drill Sargent of a parent.” Bryan admitted his face almost deadpanning. He felt bad for Clarke, if anything, Abby’s behavior could make her worse.

“I understand though Bryan, I watched how she was when they were first reunited. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Abby like this. Clarke’s all she has left and I get that. Kind of makes my job a little difficult but..” Bellamy stretched his arms above his head letting his muscles stretch to ease them out.

“Abby trusts me....but not enough to let me help Clarke the way I need to.” Bellamy admitted his eyes now finding the floor.

“Well if it’s anything, hopefully Kane can talk some sense into her. Almost losing Clarke did something to Abby. She’s really not the same and I think it’s gonna take some time. Just know that everyone else knows what you’re doing. Everyone else trusts you including Kane.” Bryan said giving Bellamy reassuring eyes. This had been one of the first time’s him and Bellamy had a talk like this. It was normally Miller who got to him first or Monty but this he admitted was a nice change.

“Thanks.” Bellamy muttered. “See you later.” he left shortly after with an appreciative smile tugging on his lips.

Bellamy made his way back to his room, shuffling his jacket off his shoulders onto the hook. He untied his laces and slipped both his boots off placing them next to the door. He shuffled his way and plopped himself on the couch. Thoughts of the day dancing through his mind prompting little smiles and sighs of happiness to escape his lips.

  
Seeing Clarke like this really did bring out a lot in people. She had only been stable for a short while but the innocence of her knowing little to nothing made the world seem less dangerous, less cruel. Clarke was always a light in his life, however seeing Clarke radiate happiness and warmth from love changed him. She must have been like this before her father passed. He chalked up that conclusion and it allowed him to feel the illusion of meeting her before they were sent to the ground. Little thoughts of what it would be like to know her on the ark raced through his mind. He thought about times he might have walked by her or times he could have easily met her and somewhere in between the thought of pressing his lips to hers and holding her together, he fell asleep.  
Bellamy had been asleep for a short while before he heard the sound of screaming. - It sounded like someone was being murdered. Bellamy enjoyed some of the “scary movies” he used to watch on the ark with some of the men he worked with when he was a guard. They used to critique the hell out of them and it would cause humor to radiate through the lunch room- but this was screams of horror. He shot up off the couch the moment his eyes opened and rushed to the door to put his boots on. Without grabbing his jacket he rushed into the hall. All of the residence who had rooms near his were out in the hall and they were searching for the frantic pleads. Bellamy’s eyes darted to Clarke's door and he immediately recognized the cries, screams and pleads as her own. “Everyone go back to bed.” he said his voice cracking with worry. He took his key from inside his room and went into Clarke’s tossing his shoes in any direction after closing the door behind him and darting to her room.

She was tossing and turning in her sleep. Her cheeks stained with tears and her hands gripping to her bed sheets. No doubtably one of the nightmares he was warned about that he knew would eventually come but it was sooner than he had expected...or hoped to say the least. He rushed over as quietly as he could and slipped into the bed propping himself beside her sitting up. She tossed over and was now pressed into his leg. She gripped onto his thigh and it nipped at his skin. His eyes could only soften at her, wondering what she could be going through. He lifted her very gently placing her between his legs and her head on his stomach. He caressed her face and ran his fingers through her hair and up her arms, giving her warmth and watching her face relax. He used his thumb to wipe her tears away as she clutched onto his shirt. The calluses on his hands were rough and the pads of his thumb put her at ease. Her eyes opened slowly and her hand un-clenched at the sudden realization of warmth. She tiled her head upward, Bellamy already aware of her consciousness.

  
_“Bellamy....”_ she whispered, her voice hoarse from sleep.

_“Hey princess...”_ he replied softly giving her reassuring heart eyes.

“I had a nightmare, I was really scared..” she whispered, her eyes moving from his face to look away.

“It’s okay..I’m here.” he ran his hand gently up and down her back.

“I was at the drop ship and everyone was frantic and crying and worried, there were these people trying to hurt us. They wore face paint and shaggy clothing. They hurt you and a boy with brown hair. He went after you, to save you, I screamed for you to run somewhere in between and I had to close the door on you. I thought I killed you....I-” her voice was cracking now.

“You did what had to be done.” he said softly in a reassuring tone.

“That wasn’t a nightmare, it was real wasn’t it.” she chalked that conclusion up by his tone and his words.

“Yes, but you did that because you had to. I survived and we made it out. I was so proud of you, Clarke.” he was smiling at the top of her head.

“Are my other memories scary like this? why do they come in the form of dreams?” she questioned, her eyes following the fabric of his shirt back to his face. His hands now tangled in her sunny curls.

“They will be similar but....who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things, Clarke.” he repeats, the memories of when he spoke those words settling in. “You do what you need to, to live and survive down here. That’s part of being a leader. We both did things like that to survive and here we are. I’d like to think that I wouldn’t change these things because I wouldn’t be here with you if I did.” he smiled at her genuinely. A light smile crept to her face tugging at her cheeks. She only nodded to him before asking.

“So why do you call me princess?” her brow quirked. He let out a low chuckle and caressed her cheek.

“Everyone thought that because you had connections on the Ark and your family was well known that you were like a princess, barking orders at everyone. I used to say it to get you rallied up, until you got used to it, then it became a little pet name that you grew to enjoy, or at least I think you did. Then I eventually just called you by your name and I think you appreciated that a bit more.” he continued to laugh remembering the few times she would roll her eyes at him, the one time she stood up to him about the wristband. Brave princess.

She giggled now, the feeling of her little laughter against his body sent light chills of happiness. “Tell me a time you said it to me.” so he did just that.

He told her about when they went to save Jasper from the grounders and that she asked him to come along, almost mocking his leadership, how he wanted to cut her hand off to get the wristband, she scoffed and tapped his tummy disapprovingly as he laughed a bit and continued. He told her of when he grabbed her wrist and said that once she took it off they would do what they needed to. She stood up to him and essentially told him off, him laughing and repeating his words _“Brave Princess.”_

she laughed wholeheartedly at his tone. He reminded her of their enemies to ally’s nature for the first little while.

“Thank you for telling me these stories, Bellamy.” she smiled softly at him. he nodded taking in the little lines that graced her cheeks when she smiled. For a while she only looked at him, watching his eyes soften to hers. She knew that Bellamy grew to care for her deeply and now after everything he’s told her, it being only the tip of the ice burg, she knew that all of these memories made them grow together and she was only excited to hear more...good or bad. For a while they only sat in silence, his hands still caressing her cheeks, her eyes closing lightly and her leaning into his touch. He could only describe what he felt was peace. It was like the entire world around them didn’t exist.

“Bellamy, can you stay here, please.” she asked softly, her eyes moving from his face, she was a little embarrassed.

“Sure.” he replied lightly. Within a few moments of Bellamy’s warm touch to her back, rubbing softly, she fell asleep on him. He didn’t mind to say the least.

Abby had rushed in ten minutes later, her eyes locking to them on her bed giving a small disapproving look to Bellamy who had his brows furrowed and a finger to his lips silencing her before she could even speak a word. “bring her to med in the morning, we need to talk about this.” she whispered, her eyes softening at her daughters sleeping form. Bellamy only nodded and his eyes wandered to Clarke who’s breathing was steady and relaxed. Abby watched intensely at the way his daughter was put at ease in his presence. It was almost a rise of envy she felt because she had only wished she could be the one to do this for her daughter. However she knew that Clarke and Bellamy had a connection that she could only dream to understand. One she felt she had with Kane. The way his eyes softened at Clarke's body, his body language spoke to Abby. It made a light warmth pool in her stomach but the envy rose in her once again. Some part of her hoped that one day she wouldn’t rely on Bellamy like she used to, like she has from the beginning. Abby knew that, that day would never come.

 

She left the room shortly after giving him a light nod. His eyes eventually grew heavy, the warmth of Clarke’s body tangled in his allowing him to slip into his much needed and deprived rest.

_If I'm going to take orders from you, I need a better reason._

_I can't lose you, too._


	4. Repeating truths and lavender.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke doesn't take memories of what her mother did very well and Bellamy's had enough of the way people speak to Clarke.
> 
> "I hope you like the lavender, I smell it on you all the time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say for this one, hope you're enjoying. - Brooklyn.

That morning Bellamy woke Clarke up and she was more than a hassle to get out of bed. When he woke her, she was barely coherent, snuggled into his chest, his arms wrapped around her and his face nuzzled into her hair.“Clarke, Abby needs to check on you, c’mon we need to get up.” - groans and frustrated grunts only left Clarke’s mouth. He laughed at this because it would be the first time he had ever seen her so reluctant to wake, like a young adult is supposed to be before you know, being dropped out of space barreling down to a planet of possible death. She was innocent this way, something they didn’t come by often down on Earth.

“Clarke, your mother will have my head.” Bellamy chuckled softly attempting to peel her off him. She only latched on closer using her head to nuzzle into the crook of his neck.

“pft” she makes a cheeky noise. “you’re gonna stay here because I don’t wanna move.” Bellamy uses his body to lift her with him and in one swift swing she was thrown over his shoulder. She groaned and the groans turned into giggles as she swatted his back while he stood to his feet.

“Bellamy, let me go!”

“You’re giggling so I’m off the hook.” he remarked as he placed her down on her feet in front of her closet.

“Now get dressed, princess.”

“I am not a princess.”

_"Only princesses whine like this.”_

_only Rebel Kings are this much of a pain in my ass.”_

they both were laughing now as they played off each others words.

“Okay, get dressed you’re stalling now.” Bellamy was still lightly chuckling headed towards the door before she grabbed his hand and swung him around wrapping him in an embrace.

“Good morning.” she said softly into the fabric of his shirt.

“Good morning, Clarke.” his arms wrapped around her small frame.

“If you’re not dressed in 15 minutes and ready to go I’m going to have to turn into a drill Sargent.” Bellamy smirked as he let her go and headed out the door.

_“I have one of those already!”_ she yelled hearing his laughter while he closed the door.

Clarke was in a wonderful mood and it mirrored Bellamy’s. They brought that out of one another and it was more than pleasant for the both of them. After those fifteen minutes passed Bellamy and Clarke met at their doors and headed towards Med bay.

“Ah, Clarke, Abby will be here in a few minutes, just have a seat here.” Jackson ushered her to the check up room and she jumped up on the bed using her arms.

Bellamy stood leaning against one of the counters. “I’m really not looking forward to being lectured.” Clarke mumbled and Bellamy’s only response was a low chuckle. Abby had entered the room and her eyes darted between the two.

“Hello sweetheart, how are you feeling?” Abby questions holding her clipboard and writing Clarke’s name down ready to chart her symptoms.

“I’m doing really well Abby, Bellamy is a lot of help.” she smiled. “I had a nightmare, but my nightmare was a memory, that’s all though. I’m starting to remember everything slowly...” she mumbled.

“I heard about the nightmare and went to check on you but Bellamy had it covered at that point. - However you should not be going out of Arkadia for a while Clarke. No more of this, you need to stay in Arkadia where I can see you.” Abby’s voice was concern and anger.

“I’m more than capable of handling myself...besides Bellamy is here...” Clarke responded, her brows furrowing in apparent frustration.

“Bellamy is not your keeper, he is not your parent, if anything this is his fault, I shouldn’t have asked him to look after you.” Abby pressed.

“That’s enough, you told me to look after Clarke and that’s exactly what I’m doing, before she lost her memory she confided in me anyway before even looking in your direction, don’t blame me for anything.” Bellamy had grown increasingly irritated with Abby. He was tired of Clarke being looked down at because she’s vulnerable and he was tired of Abby making him look to be someone who’s doing harm.

_“Clarke is still Clarke, Abby.”_ he finished sighing.

“That’s not what I’m saying-” Abby spoke as Bellamy interrupted.

_“Then don’t treat her like a child!”_  he shouts.

“Enough! Abby, enough! I’m not cowering in fear, my memories are coming back and we’re handling them. I asked Bellamy to take me! he isn’t making me do anything, in fact he’s more help than you are right now badgering me and being over protective! I’ve had enough!” Clarke pushed passed both of them storming out. Her blood was boiling and tears raced down her cheeks. Everyone was stepping on egg shells around her and she was being treated like a child and she hated it.

Bellamy sighed and ran after her leaving Abby more confused than anything else. She was worried about what was to come when she remembered her past with her father.

_It was only a matter of time._

Bellamy catches Clarke in the hall and stops her. “Clarke”

“Not now Bellamy, I want to be alone.”

“I’m sorry” he sighed

“It’s not your fault.....” she was silent now. His eyes searched her face when she looked at him.

“Bellamy, did my mother have to do with my fathers death.” his face deadpanned. He wasn’t expecting those memories specifically to surface so soon. “She does, doesn’t she?” his face still deadpanned.

_“Clarke...”_ he was in a hush, he didn’t want a scene to be made. The stress she was already under was enough. “The knowledge I had about the Ark failing had to do with him and I’m going to figure out what the fuck is going on because I am tired of secrets!” 

_“Clarke, please”_ Bellamy tried to use his voice and his touch to calm her down and she shoved his arms away from her and stormed off back to her mother, memories now flooding back into her brain about Wells, her mother, her father and their research and finally the sight of her father in his very last moments.

Bellamy had followed her calling for her but all she could hear was a ringing and white noise. Kane followed as well beside Bellamy after hearing the commotion, Clarke just ahead of them.

“What’s going on with Clarke?” Kane asked in a hurried voice, both men in a light jog to keep up with Clarke.

“I don’t know, her and Abby went at it when Abby tried to blame me for Clarke’s nightmares, we left the med bay and Clarke’s memories started to surface and she started remembering her father and possibly why he was floated and I tried to speak but she wouldn’t listen.” Bellamy was worried and frustrated at how quickly things could escalate when Clarke was angry.

Kane sighed in frustration. “I told Abby to not rope you into this but here we are....” both men sighed in almost synchronized fashion and stopped right at the doors to the sight of fury.

“You’re the reason my father died and Well’s held it over his head for you didn’t he?”

“Clarke, please let me explain everything....wait you’re memories are coming back of Wells?" Abby was stunned to see her recovery pace. She was already remembering people from her past.

“Explain what exactly? That you killed Dad over the truth?” Clarke’s voice was in a yell, strong and true to her words. “These memories came back and somehow...they hurt more the second time...” Clarke’s voice cracked as Abby reached into hold her.

“Don’t touch me....” she shoved Abby’s hands away.

“Bellamy was right...keeping these things from me prolongs the hurt, especially when it’s your mother who caused your suffering. I bet that’s the reason I was sent down here too, wasn’t it?” she questioned Abby, her eyes like daggers.

“I knew the truth and you were worried...that Dad and I would tell everyone...so you locked me up.” her voice transferred into a low husk whisper. Abby couldn’t bring the words to speak, only tears flowed down her face as her hand placed over her mouth. A muffled

“I’m sorry” lifted from her lips. “Bellamy you’re being relieved from your duties to look after Clarke...I can’t have eruptions like this. I will look after her.” Abby finally spoke with attempted affirmation.

_“Like hell I am.”_ Bellamy shouted and Kane yanked on his arm.

“Everyone is always sorry...I can take care of myself...” Clarke left the room after she spoke in a full blown sprint. Bellamy raced after her and left Kane and Abby in the dead silence of the room.

“Abby, this is only natural. She’s reliving all of these awful things....please don’t blame yourself.” Kane said softly, he was at her side in seconds holding her against his chest.

“I’m the reason for that awful memory...her memories are recovering so quickly. If they’re connected the others soon follow...I was hoping that specific memory would wait a while longer but once she remembered Wells....” Abby stopped speaking and her sobs muffled into his shirt. “She’s healing quicker than I anticipated....”

"just give her time, Abby. Clarke does love you, you know this. She’s not a kid anymore, consider this a second rebellious teen phase.” Kane tried reassuring Abby with a light chuckle but he knew these things take time.

Bellamy couldn’t find Clarke after she ran off and he assumed she just needed some time. Clarke stood up for herself as she did the first time she found out about her father and it was to be expected that she act this way. It was a posh teenage attitude and it reminded her of the Clarke he met. Bellamy decided that hunting was the best option as he slung his jacket over his shoulders. He no doubtably dragged Miller and Monty along. All of these events and by god it was only noon and Bellamy was ready to strangle someone.

Clarke was shocked they didn’t come after her. She saw Bellamy leave for the day with Monty and Miller, she could tell he was looking around for her but she felt the need to steer clear of everyone that day. She found a little latter that lead up the side of the Ark and she sat up there for most of the day basking in the warmth of the sun. She made sure to bring her lunch. She was proud of herself for today but she thought about it for a while and wished she had handled it better. Her memories of Well’s were clear now. Even his death, she cried for a little while and was thankful for the solitude. Clarke begins to panic when the sun has set and they hadn’t come back from their trip.

  
She should have talked to him before he left, what if he left because he was angry at her? what if he was hurt? all different kinds of thoughts rushed through her brain as she made her way to her room. She went into his and took his old jacket, worried and panicked and embracing it because it smelt just like him. She took it back to her room and waited around mostly pacing and that’s when a memory of Bellamy surfaced. The one from their trip together, that he told her from the drop ship. The one where Dax almost killed him directly in front of her.

Clarke fell to the floor of her living room sobbing into his old jacket. His musk sending chills to her core and the thought of losing him making her sobs all the more real. Today left her exhausted and she didn’t even want to think about tomorrow. She thought for a while that she might be over reacting but they were gone all day and it was very, very late now. She could only worry about the things she didn’t dare speak of. She curled into a ball on the floor cradling his jacket and fell asleep between her sobs.

Bellamy, Miller and Monty took a scenic route back after running into Murphy and Emori on the way. They were headed back to Arkadia and instead of following their own trail back they went Emori’s way. Murphy and Emori ended up staying outside of Polis after Azgeda took over and waited wondering where they should go. They decided that making themselves useful in Murphy’s “home” of sorts was better than scavenging for the rest of their lives. Emori didn’t come easy but Murphy was known to be stupid good at convincing. They told Emori stories about Murphy and all Murphy did was sigh and complain the whole way home...another thing he was good at: complaining.

They made it back to Arkadia and Bellamy’s first thought after entering through the gates was to check on Clarke. She ran through his mind all day of course which made focusing on a shot harder to accomplish. Miller made fun of him all day for it. He entered the wing to his home and decided to stop by hers first. He slowly unlocked and opened the door in case she was asleep and he found Clarke on the floor, flush tear stained cheeks and his jacket in her arms. He smiled at this, she looked so beautiful. However the fact that she was crying and he wasn’t there to comfort her dawned on him wiping his face clean of happiness.

_“Clarke...”_ he knelt down rubbing her arm. Her eyes fluttered open and shot to him. She sat up quickly and her eyes flowed a second river of tears.

“What’s wrong, Clarke, are you okay?” he mumbled.

“Am I okay....really? do I look okay?” she snapped and his eyes grew two sizes.

“I have been waiting all night for you and I’ve been worried sick. I remembered Dax, I remembered you almost dying and it’s all I could think about! you were gone all night!” sobs wracked her body and her words felt like venom.

“I’m sorry...I needed some time and Miller and Monty...”

“I don’t want to hear it, all I could think about is you hurt or dead..” Clarke’s voice was cracking. “Get out” she stated flatly. “Clarke please...I’m sorry I couldn’t find you to tell you-”

“Just go.” Her face expressionless as she spoke. She knew he couldn’t tell her but she was hurting and so worried all night.

Bellamy decided that there was no arguing with this tonight. She shoved his jacket into his arms and he left with no word. He had patience for her like a saint because if anyone else had spoken to him that way he would have lost his patience. However he remembered the events from this morning and decided the only way to ease her out again was a small gesture. He went to the lavender tree’s Octavia had shown him months back and picked them very early that morning. He picked a few flowers from the field and slipped into Clarke’s home while she had slept and left them in a little vase she had that was empty with a note to wake up to. He really wasn’t good with these kinds of things, it was all Monty’s idea and Monty was a sucker for cute gestures and no better time to do it than an argument.

 

Clarke woke that morning with little to no sleep. She was angry and numb to the world. She slipped out of her bed and got dressed deciding there was no sense in moping around her room all day. The best way to get rid of her negative energy was to be productive. She remembered learning that from her father when he would scold her on her lazy days. She was also very thankful for Bellamy’s braid still holding tight.

She walked into her living room, her eyes darting to the array of colors in her peripheral vision. She rushed over to them, the aroma placing a smile onto her face. She moved her face close to smell them closing her eyes to the delightful arrangement of smells. She noticed a little note that said Clarke on the front of it which was no doubtably Bellamy’s writing. She smiled because she remembered his calligraphy.

 

_Dear Clarke,_

 

_I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my trip with Monty and Miller. I had searched for you for an hour before I left but I figured you were hiding away from the stress and most definitely, Abby. I needed to blow off steam. I wasn’t very happy and I was worried I might take it out on someone and I never wish to take it out on you. I hated the situation you were put in earlier. I don’t like when people talk down to you over your situation because you’re still, Clarke. I know you’re angry with Abby and forgiveness may not even be a topic of discussion but Clarke, she loves you very much. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you had those memories of Dax surface. I promise to next time tell you when I plan to be gone for the day. I hope you like the lavender, I smell it on you all the time._

 

 

Love: Bellamy. (Rebel King.)

 

Her smile widened. Bellamy’s even thoughtful when she was down right awful to him and she made a mental note to thank him later. She had so much to thank him for and she felt like she had only scratched the surface.

Clarke left the flowers and the note leaving her home with the biggest dorkiest smile ever. She had looked around but saw no trace of Bellamy but decided to put that thought off for a while when she saw that brunette again with the leg brace, her name was Raven she remembered once again.

“Hey, Raven.” she said happily.

“Clarke, hey! my goodness you’re glowing you look amazing!” Raven praised her giving her a giant hug. For a tiny woman Raven could give a mean hug.

“Yeah I’ve had a lot of help.” Clarke admits happily.

“Ah, Mr.Blake.” she remarks with a little smirk.

“Hey what’s that face for?” Clarke chuckles a little.

“He’s a God damn sap for you and it’s adorable.” Raven chuckles giving Clarke a little poke.

“Hey he is not.”

“Whatever you say.” Raven replies cheekily. A moment of laughter pass through them.

“I remember something about you Raven, we were pretty close right?” Raven nodded happily and swung her arm around Clarke.

“Only to get closer as well!” The girls were so caught giggling that they hadn’t noticed Bellamy who had arrived at their side well over a minute ago.

“Ah, the man of the hour.” Raven said spooking Clarke as she turned to see Bellamy.

“Oh hey, Bellamy.” she smiled lightly.

“I’m gonna leave you two alone.. _.watch it with my princess, Blake._ ” Raven said cheekily as she smirked at him.

_“Get your own nickname, Reyes.”_

_“Can’t hear you!”_ Raven walked away making noise with her fingers in her ears.

She was really quite the character and it made Clarke smile. A moment passed between them and Clarke had watched her walk off.

“Clarke, I’m sorry.” he said placing his hand on her shoulder. She brought her hand up to touch his.

“I’m sorry too.” she looked up at him smiling. The delight in his face was Kodak.

Bellamy had some errands he needed to run outside of Arkadia. Clarke only assumed it was more hunting trips. They parted ways for the day and Clarke was left with the memory of his smile and his brown obs dancing around her face, his freckles kissable.

Clarke had spent the remainder of the day helping a few people out around Arkadia. She helped a girl named Harper with dishes. Harper was very welcoming and nice to hera nd they spoke for a long time giggling about memories Harper had to share before she was interrupted by a tap on her shoulder.

“Hey, Clarke.” Murphy spoke. Clarke turned around and furrowed her brows.

“Murphy, not today, or ever please.” Harper spoke up shaking her head.

“Touchy, I just wanted to say hi.” he replied sarcastically.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” his face deadpanned and he began to laugh.

“Good one, Clarke.” Harper’s eyes became daggers as Raven came by within seconds, she has never thought of Murphy to be anything less than a jackass.

“What’s so funny?” Raven asked quirking her eyebrow at him.

“Clarke’s being funny that’s all.”

“I’m not, I don’t remember him.” she shook her head embarrassed.

“God Murphy, sometimes you’re clueless. Did nobody tell you?” Raven half snapped at this point.

“This is some kind of sick joke, I mean I know I’m not liked here but come on.”

“Clarke lost her memory you jack ass.” Raven was angry at this point practically in his face.

“Shit, Clarke I’m sorry.” Murphy confessed and Clarke’s only reply was a light nod -putting down the dish she was washing and she walked away. Raven and Harper only shook their head at him.

Clarke made her way to sit over and lean against a shed. These last few days were draining to say the least.

“Tough day for our great leader, huh?” an unfamiliar voice spoke as he leaned against the wooden shed with her. She looked up and recognized him as that Jasper fellow that Bellamy told her to avoid.

“I’m sorry, what?” she asked. His response was a chuckle.

“Must be nice to not remember all the terrible things you’ve done.” he spoke angrily. Jasper only dreamed of forgetting his nightmares. At this point Bellamy had come back from his trip and he was unloading the Rover, he had glanced over to acknowledge her.

“So now that you forget everything you can just be happy and forgetful.” Jasper continued irritably. “I don’t know what you’re talking about so please stop” Clarke got up now attempting to diffuse the situation. Jasper grabbed her wrist tightly.

“No, I don’t think so. I think I should tell you about all the horrible things you’ve done.”

_“Please let me go..., Please”_ she pleaded trying to shake his grip off.

Bellamy was across the way keeping a close eye, he watched her get up and the moment he laid his hands on her he was on his way over. Bellamy was at her side with three quick strides grabbing Jasper by the collar.

_“She asked you to leave her be, are you hard of hearing?”_ Bellamy was yelling in his face now.

Clarke’s eyes widened in fear, she had never seen Bellamy with this look in his eyes before.

“Sorry if she deserves to know all the people she’s killed.” With those words, Bellamy knocked Jasper in the face. Miller, Monty, Murphy and Bryan had to peel Bellamy off of Jasper before he hit her again. Clarke's hand was over her mouth, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Don’t go near, Clarke again.” Bellamy spat before storming off.

“Really, Jasper?” Monty asked with irritation. Bellamy’s punch was hard but lighter than he would anyone else, he didn’t want to hurt anyone in front of Clarke. Jasper only looked away with eyes of shame.

Clarke ran after Bellamy who stormed to his living quarters and slammed the door. She used her spare key and opened the door, his home had already been trashed and the noises he made reminded her of when he found out about her memories being lost. It makes a lump form in her throat.

_“Bellamy...”_ she speaks softly and her voice goes unheard. She saw him in his room pacing furiously.

_“Bellamy stop!”_ she had put aside her fears and closed the space between them taking him and making him sit on the edge of his bed, she stood between his legs. She used all of her strength to move him but she guessed his legs just gave out. His head hung in shame and frustration.

_“Bellamy....please.”_ she spoke softly taking both her hands and cupping his face pulling his head up to make eye contact with her.

_“It’s okay, I’m here.”_ she smiles softly rubbing the pads of her thumbs against his cheeks. He said nothing, his dark eyes only searched her face.

“Thank you for protecting me.” she said softly a light smile tugging at her cheeks with little tears forming in her ducts. He only nodded slowly. It always took Bellamy time to calm down but around Clarke it was effortless. She tamed his demons effortlessly.

“We need each other, Bellamy.” She spoke and his eyes widened.

“I remember telling you that..” Clarke closed the space between them and her lips met his own. A soft and gentle kiss. Bellamy’s senses overloaded and he didn’t know what was happening until her lips were already on his. He took his hands held her face deepening the kiss, it was passionate and soft. She was the first to part and she leaned her forehead against his, their hands still cupping one anothers face. She let out a light laugh as did he. His smile was radiant and the sparkle in his eyes when she moved her forehead off his to look at him, the glimmer, was beautiful.

“Suddenly, I don’t care what happens for the rest of the day.” he said cheekily as he stood to pull her into a hug.

She only giggled into his chest. She let go of the hug and looked up at him.

“I met Murphy...” she mumbled rolling her eyes. He sighed and brought his hand up to cover his face.

_“oh boy”_ he mumbled.

"I also met Harper she’s really nice and Raven obviously. I’m sort of starting to remember bits about Raven.” she smiled reassuring him.

“That’s really good, Clarke.” his breathing sounded like breaths of relief.

“Don’t worry about Jasper, Bellamy.” she said calmly as he sighed. “I don’t like the way people treat you sometimes and I can’t control my anger when it comes to protecting you. Kane says it all the time.” he replied with haste.

“Raven said you have a sweet spot for me.” she giggled poking his stomach.

“That Reyes, giving away all my secrets.” she laughed in unicent with him as he pulled her in for another hug slipping and toppling over onto the bed.

She laid over top of him as they let their laughter settle then she had moved over to his side she laid her head on his stomach facing him as his left arm wrapped around her back to hold her. His eyes softened on her, his head propped up by the pillow he grabbed when she moved.

“I remember those flares you talked about and asking you about shooting stars. If you could wish on those kind, Bellamy what did you wish for? what would you wish for?” she questioned curiously running her hand through his thick black locks. He made a sarcastic thinking face and she pat his stomach with her hand. “Tell me!” she persisted. “I can’t tell you, princess. That would ruin the entire concept of a wish.” he was now chuckling at her pout.

“Fine” she sighed and waited for a moment. “Please?” she questioned, he began to laugh and smirked at her. “can’t tell ya.” She only rolled her eyes and they laid there for a little while.

“I have to get going for a bit, I promised I would help Kane with some diagrams and building plans.” she nodded and got up, he followed and she walked him to the door.

“I’ll see you soon then?” he smiled at her grabbing her hand.

She nodded smiling up at him and Bellamy brought his hand up to up her cheek and kissed her softly. Once they parted the kiss he placed one on her forehead. “Go into your room and slip open the bottom drawer of your desk when I leave.” Bellamy requested smiling.

“What, why?” she asked curiously prompting a laugh and Bellamy slipping away with a smirk and a wave.

She closed the door and made her way into her room and opened the drawer to find an art set with a sketch book, some pencils and pencil crayons. How does he even do that? she questioned lightly chuckling.

 

_I trust him_

_You can’t be serious_

_I am_


	5. Fear houses guilt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke receives help from an unlikely ally as she deals with her inner turmoils. 
> 
> Again, summaries what are those?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever! I got a little but busy with some of the portraits I'm doing of Bellamy that it kind of took up all of my time. Not only that but I wanted to put as much thought and detail into this chapter as I could because it's important. If you want to, feel free to follow me on Twitter to keep up with my shenanigans.  
> https://twitter.com/Myindepthmind_

Bellamy woke feeling more than refreshed. His senses came to and he was left with the feeling of Clarke’s lips on his. The feeling from that night, the way she caught him off guard. He was laying in his bed his eyes trailing the ceiling, his pupils dilated to the light shining from the small top window in his room. He brushed his finger on his lips where his once touched hers. He knew that he was warned about this. He knew what could happen if Clarke realized she didn’t feel the same but somewhere deep inside himself, he knew, he remembered, that Clarke loved him before she lost her memory. It wasn’t announced, she had other loves as did he, but in the back of both of their minds they had each other.

Clarke on the other hand had her memories flooding back to her it seemed. It started off slow and she began to remember the tiniest things and they would branch off until she remembered all of what certain memories pertained to. She thought of her situation with Bellamy to be like this: she was falling in love with Bellamy all over again and he was teaching her about her life story.  
Bellamy had always been in love with her but to see this side of her made him feel like he was falling in love with her all over again as well. The lighthearted Clarke who lets someone in instead of her closed off demeanor. He loved who Clarke was and no doubtably love her for who she is now. The part of her he never met.

Bellamy decided he lazied around enough for the moment seeing as Kane would be here to drag him out of his room within the next twenty minutes if he didn’t show up to his meeting. They were working on building plans to make Arkadia even more sustainable. When Bellamy and Kane got together and meshed their ideas together they found innovative progress. Throughout the time they’ve been on earth, Kane became a father like figure to both Bellamy and Octavia and treated them as his own. He took care of them and looked out for Bellamy. Even if it consisted of being lecture-filled and repetitive. Bellamy had grown such an appreciation for the man and Kane thought Bellamy had to be the most admirable of them all. He took on the role of leading the delinquents. He started off arrogant and selfish and grew to be the hero he was today. People of Arkadia found Bellamy to be a hero and Bellamy? he didn’t think much of himself at all. However that was changing, Clarke’s positivity was changing him. It was making him believe in himself again and he thought that possibly, he could forgive himself one day.

Bellamy finished his shower and threw some new clothes on that Clarke washed while he was gone on one of his day hunting trips. He found them neatly in his dresser with a little note. It amused him at how they played at each other hiding little surprises to make the others day less unbearable. His navy blue half sleeve and a pair of dark brown\black cargo pants, his belt and holster, slipping on his boots and off he went. The weather had grown warm over the last few days which warranted less complaining from Clarke being cold and more time out in the sun for the few kids of Arkadia. Since that other night when she had kissed him, Clarke’s been busy teaching the children how to plant crops and teaching them how to read as well as trying to help Abby around med-bay. He had seen Clarke once walking with Abby, she lightly smiled and rolled her eyes prompting a laugh from Bellamy. Things...were starting to feel like home for the both of them. Maybe it’s because home is wherever they were together.

He found comfort in her waking him some mornings, or not seeing him all day and staying at his place. It was contentment that left an occasional unsettling feeling in his stomach. Because when Bellamy get’s comfortable, he gets paranoid.

He met Kane at the doors to the chancellors office or what they like to call just “headquarters” now. - Day’s of chancellor calling were over for Arkadia. Having a team of people who know how to lead was the way to obtain true peace throughout Arkadia. “Where are the others?” Bellamy questioned perking his brow up at Kane. “It’s just us two for the moment.” he cleared his throat as he closed the door to the room.

“Let’s sit for a bit before the others get here.” Kane said promptly sitting down as the words rolled off his tongue.

Bellamy sat down in the chair right across from him and rested his ankle on his left knee.

“Good Mornin’ Bellamy muttered.

“Indeed it really is, you seem in high spirits.” Kane replied respectfully, intrigued by Bellamy’s behavior.

“Well I’m assuming it has to do with, Clarke’s progress.” he stated flatly assuming the obvious. Bellamy only nodded as Kane continued. “I know Jasper upset you up but be mindful of your actions. - and no don’t sigh I’m not here to lecture you" he caught Bellamy mid sigh.

"I actually wanted to ask you how things were going with you and Clarke.” Kane said calmly.

Bellamy shifted in his seat for a moment confused by the confession. “How come?” Bellamy really hoped that Abby wasn’t behind this trying to get information out of Bellamy.

Her and Clarke were working together sure but that didn’t mean that Clarke spoke to her in any other fashion than her working tone. They didn’t have personal conversations and honestly Clarke hardly looked in her mothers direction at all.

  
“Just because you’re a hero to the people doesn’t mean I worry less about you.” Kane confessed. “I just wanted to ask how things were going, how Clarke was doing, how you were doing.” Bellamy smiled at his words.

“Clarke is doing really well, her memories are coming back and she’s starting to pick up old habits as days pass. She’s picking up her sketchbooks again and practicing. She makes it look effortless. I’m sure you’ve seen her teaching the children. She’s getting back to the normal Clarke we all know and love.” Bellamy finished with a little nod of confidence.

“It’s good to see progress in her. Abby spends a lot of her night when she gets in complaining about how Clarke still wont talk to her. I tried to express that time and patience are a key but you know these Griffin’s as well as I do..” Kane lightly chuckled prompting Bellamy’s smile to curl on his face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you happy like this, Bellamy.” Kane was cheerful in his tone.

“I have someone to thank for that.” Bellamy mused.

“I’ve noticed her positivity growing on people. I guess since we don’t have any pending threats, happiness is a thing that can grow now.” Kane’s tone was reassuring and confident. Clarke’s memories would all be back one day and she surely is making haste to progress but he knows that in his heart of hearts that this Clarke, no matter her memories coming back, will be staying for good. Abby had said the personality she grows without her memories would merge with who she was.  
Kane believes that Clarke and Bellamy would one day be able to lead Arkadia.

“I guess this wasn’t really a meeting about Arkadia's terrain or building plans. If I had of known I wouldn't have rushed to get here.” Bellamy stated sarcastically.

“You’re a busy guy to get ahold of Mr. Blake and you’re wound so tight around Clarke and working around Arkadia of course I have to make casual conversation seem important.” Kane chuckled, his words honest. Bellamy only nodded laughing in response because he wasn’t going to deny any of it. It wasn’t stated out in the open and they didn’t show the couple like affection around in public mostly due to the fact that they’ve been far too busy but also due to the fact that Clarke liked the bit of privacy she has with him. She doesn’t want everyone to bombard her with what she already knows and she most certainty didn't want a lecture from Abby. Their connection and love was known all to well around Arkadia but verbal formalities weren't due yet.

  
“Good talk, you’re dismissed.” Kane patted Bellamy’s shoulder blade and Bellamy only laughed rising to his feet. “Good talk, indeed.”

Raven found Clarke and they both decided that today would be a day to relax so they found Octavia and Harper. The girls all sat together in Raven’s little makeshift - shelter that connected to the ark and decided that giggling and chatting was the way to go today. They were due for some rain and the dark clouds were already rolling in.

“So Harper, how are things going with Monty? you know since the time I walked in on you guys...all that hanky-panky" Raven nudged Harper in the side and Clarke and Octavia giggled in unicent. Clarke and Octavia had grown closer over the last few days helping one another out so it was no surprise to find them leaned against one another.

“Ah Monty is something else...” Harper admitted.

“Ah, what?” Raven asked perking her brows up.

“I mean things are really good, I meant that in a good way, he’s actually really good to me. It feels so weird being here, being safe and kind of...I don’t know falling...in love I guess.” Harper admitted her cheeks going flush.

“Aw stop you’re killing me.” Raven teased. “It’s really great to see Monty happy with a good girl like you, he needs it.” she admitted.

“Thanks Raven"

"what about you Clarke...how are things with Bellamy?” Harper turned to Clarke as Clarke’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...” she lied turning her face away.

“Oh come on Clarke, everyone within an 1000 mile radius can see it.” Raven spoke loud, whiny and cheeky with her tone. Octavia smiled and agreed.

“I’ve never seen Bellamy like this.” Octavia admitted. “I mean he’s always had a thing for you but damn.” she giggled a little. “my big brother’s got it hard.”

“You guys..” Clarke was flush red and the girls giggled in unicent. “You really think that about Bellamy?” Clarke asked perking her head to the side to look at Octavia.

“Yes - like Raven said, even before you lost your memory god forbid someone look at you the wrong way, Bellamy would have their head.” she laughed honestly.

The girls spent a lot of that afternoon laughing.

_He would do anything for her_   
_Look at the thanks he got_

It took a moment but Clarke remembered something about Bellamy. She remembers a fierce look in his eye and his voice shouting to let her go. It left her feeling very unsettled.

“Hey guys...when did Bellamy yell at someone to let me go?” Clarke questioned.

“Oh my God, Clarke, that was just before you got hurt!” Octavia was now on her feet excited, her excitement very quickly flowed through the girls as they got her up to hug Clarke.

“what it’s not that big of a deal...” Clarke was laughing between being smothered.

“It’s just exciting when we get to hear what you remember.” Harper said caringly as the girls group hugged and squeezed the life out of Clarke. “I don’t think I would remember much of anything at all if it weren’t for Bellamy.” Clarke said honestly as the girls let go of the hug, still surrounding her with hands caressing her hair and smiles beyond comprehension.

“it’s because he would do anything for you, we all would do anything for you, Clarke - and to see your progress and your memories come back is like magic.” Raven said with pure affection and the girls nodded to her words.

“I’m lucky to have you all.” she was roped in for another atomic squeeze of a hug.  
They all sat back down again passing a bowl of fruit around to nibble on.

‘Why does Jasper hate me.” she asked openly to the girls who were all sat close to her.

“You and Bellamy were saving our people and a girl Jasper was very fond of died in the process.” Harper said softly only to continue. “You did what you had to do, to save us all. Everyone who’s close to us all had their life on the line. It was a tough choice but you and Bellamy along with Monty held strong and saved us all.” Clarke only smiled and Octavia leaned her head on Clarke’s shoulder. Bellamy waved at the girls as he walked by with Monty, his eyes glued to his sister and Clarke, his smile growing wide to see the two women he loved roped into conversation and affection. Clarke admitted that these stories she was hearing didn’t make it all better, but it helped her to understand herself and the people around her just a bit better.

Murphy had made himself useful by helping keep watch rotating shifts on the guard posts, lugging heavy things around and helping fellow Arkadians. Emori was still getting used to it all but she loved to make herself useful with the women who grew crops so she spent most of her time there. Murphy had just finished his shift and saw Jasper exit the Ark doors and head in his general direction. He couldn’t say they were ever friends but he never hated the guy. However after the scene he made the other day, he felt, that some friendly advice could do the man justice. Murphy had to make a life here and there was no way in hell he was going to do that listening to Jaha’s lectures, he needed to mend friendships and get social. “Hey, Murphy.” Jasper said with a low hum and a lift of his hand to wave.

“Ah, Jasper hows it going.” he asked flatly with no real expression.

“It’s going as usual.” Jasper was quiet now as they stood with their backs leaned against the Ark watching the people work around them. Silence only passed through them for awhile before Murphy spoke.

“Look, man. I’m no saint myself and we’ve all been through shit but man up and be good to Clarke. - She could have let you die when you got speared and she didn’t. Yeah we all did crappy things and no I don’t expect you to forgive her but everyone else has. She’s clearly not the same person due to what happened to her but I can see that she’s trying to why the hell can’t you.” Murphy’s words were spoken firmly. Jasper’s eyes widened.

“I didn’t take you to be the confrontational honest type, Murphy” Jasper said in a questioning tone.

“I’m serious. Clarke has always put her ass on the line for each and every once of us since the moment we landed and poor Blake has had to run after her to make sure she doesn’t get herself into trouble. - Look I’m not asking for some kind of die hard apology but at least respect the woman, I’m an asshole and I do.” Murphy confessed glancing over to where Bellamy now stood just across the way to the left of them.

His arms crossed observing with Kane. Bellamy broke focus after a few words with Kane and nodded respectfully at Murphy informing him that he had heard what was just said and it was a nod of thanks. Bellamy and Murphy had an interesting dynamic to say the least.

“I’ll consider, maybe you’re right...I can’t just forgive her though.” Jasper said his voice hush.

“It all comes in time man.” Murphy pat Jasper on the shoulder and walked off to go see Emori leaving Jasper to his thoughts.

Once the girls were finished up for the day Octavia walked with Clarke back to her room. Octavia brought her hand up and played with Clarke's braid as they walked together.

“That’s my hair tie, I see Bellamy has shown you his mad big brother hair braiding skills” she giggled with Clarke.

“Yes, it seems like he enjoys it and he told me about when he did that for you when you were young.” -

“Gee Clarke, Bellamy telling you about his past? - yeah that man is in deep.” Octavia teased giving her a little goodbye hug as Clarke entered her room for the night.

Everyone keep’s telling Clarke that Bellamy is practically head over heels for her and she can’t help but feel like she doesn’t deserve that kind of devotion. She really hasn’t been able to get Jasper's words out of her head.

  
_Sorry if she deserves to know all the people she’s killed_

  
She sighed placing the flats of her hands to cover her face as she lightly sobbed with visions of Mount Weather dancing in her mind. She hated how once one thing comes to her mind the rest flow at an alarming rate. It gave her stupendous amounts of anxiety and it made her uncomfortable because once she remembered things about her past she was left with questions. Bellamy had told her he would be by around this time but she wasn’t sure she wanted any company. She needed to be alone with her thoughts.

Clarke decided it was best she just went for a walk to clear her mind or at least attempt to. She slipped her jacket on and braced for the cold of the evening. She slipped out through the hole in the fence Bellamy brought her through and headed off with a little flashlight. She figures just fifteen minutes in the stillness of the night could help her weed off these memories. As she begins to relax she remembers pulling the lever with Bellamy, she remembers walking in to all of the bodies, all of the people they killed to save everyone. She remembers the grounders striking a deal with the people of mount weather, she remembers it all.

_Together_

She sighed as she wandered through the forest, the sound of water droplets hitting the trees. She had no idea where she was headed at that moment but she knew that she didn’t want to stop walking for a while. After a few minutes she began to hear noises, ones of movement. She figured it may have been an animal so she shook it off and proceeded a bit further before two figures stopped in front of her just out of sight of her flashlight. Clarke was yanked from behind with a bag hooked over her head, Her cries were muffled and she was taken off into the night.

Bellamy finally finished with his headache of a busy day and decided to call it a night. All Bellamy wanted to do for the rest of the night was be tangled in the bed sheets with Clarke held close to him. He took off his gloves after he was done his work on the rover and set it all aside bidding a good night to Jaha and Miller who had spent the remainder of the day helping Bellamy fix parts of the rover. He made his way down the housing corridor and went straight to Clarke's twisting the key in the lock. He found the room dark and cold. He shuffled into the bedroom not worried about tracking the dirt on his boots into the room. Something was wrong, so wrong about this. The entire home was empty and Bellamy’s paranoia he felt earlier turned into panic. He rushed into his home quickly grabbing his jacket and headed straight to the last person he saw Clarke with. He banged his fist hard on Octavia's front door, a panicked voice from behind it swinging it open.

“Have you seen Clarke.” he said with haste out of breath, his head swinging left and right down the halls hoping to catch a glimpse of blonde hair.

“No I said bye to her at her room hours ago..” she mumbled. “She’s not there, her room is empty and it’s pitch black.” - “Okay, lets go find her.” Octavia and Bellamy headed down the hall.

“Thanks, O.”

“I’m not doing this for you, I’m doing it for Clarke, still not a big fan of you Bellamy.” he only nodded remembering when Clarke offered to help Bellamy find Octavia one night, warm feelings to the memories but nausea to compliment. They checked everywhere they could think of and Bellamy was now only panicking and making things worse. He ran outside as Octavia followed him and he pulled the alarm to signal everyone on the Ark. Once everyone was outside he stood on a box as everyone went silent.

“what is it Bellamy it’s late.” Murphy mumbled.

“Clarke is missing and she’s not in Arkadia.” Bellamy stated his voice cracking.

“What?!” Abby shouted in panic walking to the front of the crowd. “Everyone listen up, we are splitting up into group search parties. Farm, factory and the women and children stay put. Anyone close to Clarke and anyone in guard stay..” The crowd dispersed leaving only who he called to. “Split into groups of three and four and head out. Miller take three and head west, Monty take a group east, Bryan you’re in charge of north-west and Murphy it’s you're lucky day you get north east. I will take north with a few people. She couldn’t have gone far and she wouldn’t go south of the Ark. Everyone get a move on and do not return until you know you’ve covered enough ground to make a significant search.” Bellamy ordered, his hands and fingers pointing at those he ordered, he sighed heavily running his hands through his hair.

  
He got down off the box he stood on and walked over to Abby who was crying and in a state of shock.

_“Bellamy...I’m sorry._ ” she mumbled.

Bellamy roped her into a hug, holding Abby tight to his form, his hand on her head the other around her.

“We’re going to find her, Abby. I promise.” Bellamy mumbled rubbing her back. Kane smiled at Bellamy giving him a thank you nod.

“Don’t worry okay, I will find her.” Bellamy confided.

“Thank you for being good to my daughter, I don’t know why I ever thought to doubt you..I promise that if we find her I’ll never be on your case again.” she muffled between her tears letting out a light laugh.

“Not if, when we find her. I wont rest until I do.” He gave her a light kiss to the top of her head and headed to get what he needed, his weapons, everything he needed to find Clarke.

_We can’t lose Clarke._   
_We can’t lose her._

Clarke came to with the feeling of a small cold breeze and a delightful feeling of warmth on her face. Her eyes flickered open to find a well made fire that looked to be aged and tend to for several hours. How long had she been asleep? questions wracked her brain as she remembered the feeling of a warm body behind her and a mouth over her lips. She had no doubtably been taken by someone outside of camp and here she was made a hostage in this situation.

“Hello...?” she said softly as her voice echoed the cave. It seemed for the moment that she was indeed alone.

She sighed at that thought, a satisfied relief filled sigh. The thought of her captors harming her didn’t even come to mind as she worried immediately about Bellamy. She had been an idiot to wander off and that feeling was settling in now as she thought about the fact that everyone would know she was gone and for some unexplained reason she knew that they were already aware she was missing.

A noise from across the cave came as a body shifted moving to stand, the flames illuminating this woman with face paint, fur and leather attire and the face of a goddess. “You’re awake” the woman mumbled.

“please, tell me where I am, let me go I promise I didn’t do anything.” Clarke pleaded softly moving her shackles around with haste.

“What are you talking about, Wanheda?” The woman entered the light of the fire to illuminate her face. Clarke’s mouth dropped and her eyes wavered in fear.

“My name is Clarke, not Wanheda? - let me go this must be some kind of misunderstanding... Clarke’s voice trailed off into a whisper as she let her eyes wander the flames in front of her. “You are Wanheda, don’t play stupid with me.” the woman spat stalking around the fire towards Clarke.

“I promise I don’t know anything...I don’t know who I was to get you here in this position to want to capture me but I don’t remember anything...I lost my memory after I got hurt.” Clarke pleaded, tears forming in the ducts of her eyes. The woman shifted in confusion and Clarke caught it immediately.

“I was hurt and I’ve been taken care of, I don’t remember anything so if I did something, I’m so sorry.” she was pleading and now crying.

Clarke watched the woman's face soften. “I am sorry too.” the woman responded softly sitting down next to Clarke.

“My name is Echo. I am from Azgeda, a clan in this world much similar to where you live, Arkadia. Your people are called Skaikru. Your past has given you a name and had I known of your loss of memory I would have used your name instead. My kind believe that your people came down here to destroy everything in it’s path and so we do not believe in our kings ways. He made your people the thirteenth clan to honor the past commander who took a liking to you and respected your people. You saved my kings life and I respect you for it but my warriors do not agree. My men captured you in hopes I agree to your death.” Echo finished for a moment as Clarke listened intently, her eyes wandering Echo’s face admiring her pronounced cheek bones, she nodded to let Echo know she was indeed listening.

“They found you wandering and took you here, calling upon me. I cannot control the vast majority of these people there are far too many who stand against the king in hopes he falls. Now that my men are gone I was hoping you could help me.” Echo asked her turning her head to Clarke. Echo had to admit something to herself, that she did indeed look up to Wanheda. The concept of having all this power over people gave Echo a respect for Clarke she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Clarke nodded eagerly to Echo wondering what she could possibly do to help.

“My men are outside. Do not worry they cannot hear us. I am one of a hostage in this case. I have the authority but the rebellion over throws my power. My men no longer listen to me and I have no choice.” she stopped for a moment only to continue her thought. “I can get you out of here I just need you to send a message to your people, to Kane and Bellamy. They are both close with King Roan. Tell them we need to schedule a meeting and we will meet back in this cave it is north-east of your camp if you travel directly from the gate. Tell them to meet us here and tell them you have the kings word.” Echo reached into her small pouch on her hip and pulled out a small totem shaped object.

“Bellamy will know what this is and so will Kane, it is a way to describe that this message came from the king himself.” Echo replied softly moving Clarke's shirt up at her hip to slip the small object in the side of her jeans.

“Okay.” Clarke replied softly. There was a moment of quiet between the two moment. It wasn’t peaceful and there was more unsaid that made it worse. Echo felt the need to let Clarke know how she lost her memory, it was out of respect and spoken with honesty that she felt she needed to honor Clarke with given the situation Clarke was put in that Echo could not control.

“One of my men struck you over the head because they did not agree to let you and the thirteenth clan live. For a while I didn’t believe it either because I thought you were no good. I can see now....that I was wrong.” she confessed as she heard Clarke’s breath hitch over the confession.

“Azgeda’s people want a war and Roan and I do not agree. This is why I need your help, Clarke.”

“I am truly sorry on behalf of my stubborn persona and my men.” Echo’s apology Clarke could no doubtably notice as honest. It took a lot to confess when you’ve wronged someone and for a woman who knows nothing of Clarke other than what she has perceived made it that more honorable. “It’s okay, Echo. I have people who look after me.” she smiled softly as a light blush kissed her cheeks. Echo chuckled a little.

“I do not doubt that. The people in Arkadia are willing to die for you. That of a queen lies your respect from your people.”

"They are lucky to have a leader like you.” Echo replied smoothly with tones of respect and adoration.

“My memories are coming back to me at their own pace. I do remember Bellamy’s voice in a threatening tone yelling at someone to let me go, was that you?” she questioned with curiosity.

“Yes, Bellamy doesn’t trust me because I too share a past of awful choices. I have never seen Bellamy Kom Skaikru look so menacing.” she chuckled a little.

“His adoration for you is admirable.” she smiled softly at Clarke as she watched Clarke smile in reply.

Clarke’s eyes wandered the fire as the silence fell peaceful between the two women. She felt a small connection light up given the circumstances and it was warm and welcoming. Her memories began to dance in her head as she remembers for a moment of a time when Bellamy found her tied up much in the fashion she was now. She remembers the glow and ember in Bellamy’s eyes as he pulled a gag out of her mouth and a man knocked him down. She pleaded with him promising she would not fight, she would do anything, so long as the man didn’t kill Bellamy. Echo noticed the uncomfort in Clarke’s face. “Remember something?” Echo asked turning her body towards Clarke.

“Yes actually...did at one point this king...Roan you said, capture me?” she asked her brows furrowed.

“At one point yes.” Echo answered.

“I remember Roan then, I remember pleading for him to not hurt Bellamy, I remember that fear of being restrained, the fear of losing him that I offered to stop fighting the fact I was captive.” Clarke's eyes wandered the dancing flame.

_Oh please, please don’t,_

_I’ll do anything,_

_I-I’ll stop fighting,_

_Just please don’t kill him._

Echo only chuckled a little prompting a questionable look to pass over Clarke’s face as she glanced at the woman next to her. “I am laughing because your dedication to Bellamy mirrors his for you.”

“It’s amusing to see it from both perspectives.” she answered honestly with a light smile. Clarke only nodded.

Echo made her way over to another part of the cave to retrieve a bag and made her way back to Clarke pulling out a flask shaped bottle and some bread. Echo attempted to move it toward Clarke’s mouth and she shifted her head a little to avoid it.

“Don’t be so stubborn you need to eat.” Echo pleaded softly as Clarke turned her head back toward her. As much as she trusted this woman she still needed to keep her guard up, she had no idea of their intentions but she accepted the bread in her mouth chewing softly as new tears formed in her eyes. Soft sobs shook through her body as thoughts of Bellamy trailed through her mind. Remembering her friends words about his dedication to her, Echo’s words reminding her of it, he could be risking his life right now and she would never know. What if he got hurt because of her? she could never forgive herself. She thought it had been bad enough that the burden of babysitting her was with him but if he were to die in her cause would be pain for worse than she could imagine.

_“Bellamy...”_ she said between her sobs. Echo knew once that name fell off her lips the thoughts that could possibly be derailing in her mind. He would do anything for her and Echo was made aware of this as the thoughts of Bellamy’s sobs over Clarke’s body when she was hurt rung through her ears. Echo put a reassuring hand on Clarke’s shoulder.

“you will see him again.” she mumbled softly. Clarke had hope in the woman’s words. She could only have hope.

“It’s time to go, follow my lead, for what I am about to do I am sorry. I must make this believable.” Clarke only nodded knowing what was to come.

Echo flipped a small dagger out of the leather holster on her waist and sunk it deep into Clarke’s thigh. Clarke choked on her screams, the pain so full and real. It was something she had never felt before.

“I’m really sorry, they will not believe me if I let you leave unharmed...” Echo whispered and Clarke nodded wincing.

Clarke understood this more than she would like to admit. Echo removed Clarke's shackles bringing her to her feet and pulling her by the arm to the entrance. Once they exited the cave she was met by her men who had their weapons raised. “ I have decided that I will let Wanheda send this message to her people, that’s if she makes it back. Wanheda tell them that war is coming.” Echo demanded shoving Clarke to the ground. Her men for once only nodded mostly with the possibility of Clarke not even making it back. Echo gave Clarke a light nod that went only noticed to her and her men left the scene leaving Clarke feeling helpless.

She didn’t know how long she dragged her body across the forest ground or how much blood she lost. She was covered in dirt, sweat and blood. Her tears and her pain mixed well together leaving her feeling like this was the kiss of death. She was not angry with Echo for doing this, she understood the position she was in. She would attempt to get up but her legs would buckle underneath her. It was a while she dragged herself across the floor before her eyes grew heavy and her body gave in to the exhaustion. _“Come on Clarke....I’m not afraid....I’m not...afraid...”_ she said to herself pleading with the power she wishes she held.

Her eyes grew heavy and her body exhausted, the weight of her fears and exhaustion dropping her to the floor from her once crawling position.

_What if it was too dangerous and I sent him in there anyway?_

“Bellamy....I’m sorry.” she whispered to herself.

_Looking to you...princess._

“Bellamy....I’m so sorry...” Clarke’s body was heavy and she was sobbing.

_I need you. We all need you. None of us would have survived this place if it weren't for you._

“I know you can lead our people....to a brighter future...” Clarke’s words she spoke to herself were hopeful. She would always believe in Bellamy.

Clarke was accepting death, she assumed Echo didn’t plan to aim at a vital point but Clarke was bleeding out. Her eyes grew heavy and her ears began to ring. She would never be able to thank Bellamy, never be able to tell him that she loves him.

“Clarke!?” a voice shouted, it was faint through the white noise and ringing from her ears.

“I got you, I got you.” It was Jasper.

“Hey...Clarke stay with me okay? we’re going to get you out of here I promise.” she had not heard this tone from Jasper and it left her mildly confused. Jasper wasn't taken in one of the search groups so he decided he owed it to Clarke to at least search alone. It wasn't one if his brightest ideas but he doesn't regret it now that he found Clarke.

Jasper ripped a part of his shirt and tied it tightly to Clarke’s leg, her wincing at the pain and it waking her from the heavy feelings in her body. It was the adrenaline coming back.  
“Let me carry you please.” Jasper knelt down and let her into a piggy back state. He began to carry her home.

“Why are you being nice to me...” Clarke finally asked weakly. Jasper was quiet for a while.

  
“I may have gotten some sense knocked into me.” he chuckled softly. “I’m sorry I was a jackass..I just lost someone I loved very much.Her name...was Maya. I met her in Mount Weather. I know...it wasn’t just your fault alone but I blamed you because it was the easiest option for me...” Jasper confessed honestly.

“Don’t be sorry...I must have done terrible things to have all these people hate me...” she said softly full of regret. It was silent for a while between them. “I don’t hate you, Clarke.” she didn’t respond. Jasper felt her bodies weight drop on his shoulders and back and he put her down holding her in his arms,

_“Clarke!, Clarke!”_ he used his hands to move her face giving her a light shake to wake her. He knew she was losing blood and he knew they had to hurry. Her eyes flickered open slowly.

“sorry...” she said softly with a light chuckle wincing at her own laughter. Jasper lightly smiled. _“Don’t do that to me...”_ Jasper pleaded to her.

  
“It’s okay...if I die here. I lived well...” Clarke confessed, her voice weak and frail.

“No, I will not let you die, Clarke please don’t say things like this.” He ripped a new piece of fabric and tied it around her leg, she didn’t even wince now, her body too weak. _“Please Clarke, I love you_ , don’t die on me. You’re my family, you’re like my sister....you saved me so it’s my turn to save you. Please don’t give up, Bellamy will have my head.” Clarke giggled a little, her eyes looking to Jasper's. He was crying too.

“Hey no, none of that.” she smiled.

“If I survived a spear to the chest, you can survive this and I will die before I see this be the end of you.” Jasper said as he held Clarke to his chest picking her up holding her bridal style very tightly to him.

She asked him to tell her stories so he did, he told her everything he remembered about her. How brave she was, how many lives she saved, how much love she had for the people she loved. The stories warmed her heart as memories of Jasper wandered her mind, trailing in and out of her weak state. They exchanged smiles and laughter. There was something about Jasper's voice that was soothing to her. Something she appreciated. He too was her family and he was back to stay that way. She knew that whatever was to come, whatever happened in their past. It no longer wavered his resolve. He too would protect her, he too was family.  
She added him to the list in her mind of people she loved so dearly.  
Maybe Murphy will go on there one day too.

Her memories of Jasper warmed her heart, she knew that she was safe with him. She knew he would bring her back to Bellamy.

 

_We did it! Mount Weather!_

_Was it a dream or did I get speared?_

_Listen, we are safe here because of you_

_We’re safe_

_not all of us_

_Clarke, when you pulled that lever, you saved lives._


	6. These walls don't fall to trebuchets.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a while it felt like they were the only two people in the world. They were surrounded by Arkadians who watched their reunion with heart eyes and smiles. To them there was nobody. To them it was only Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin roped into one another bodies held tighter than their bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop doing portraits of Bellamy Blake. I also need to stop drinking so much coffee.  
> Neither of these things will be happening any time soon.
> 
> Follow me to keep up with my shenanigans and live tweets.
> 
> https://twitter.com/Myindepthmind_
> 
> http://myindepthmind.tumblr.com/

Bellamy, Kane and Monty were the group of three to head north. They searched for what felt like hours. The soreness took hold of them in the deepest degree.

“Bellamy we need to stop, rest or something.” Kane pleaded breathing heavy.

“No, you guys need to stop, I will keep going.” Bellamy pressed on and Kane grabbed a hold of Bellamy’s arm.

“This needs to stop, you need to stop. You’re doing the spiraling out of control thing you do when Clarke goes missing or something happens to her. Bellamy we don’t even know what happened to her-” Bellamy cut him off speaking words all to familiar to both Monty and Kane.

_“We can’t lose Clarke.”_ he pleaded his voice cracking in pure frustration.

Monty remembers Bellamy in this state all so clearly. When Roan took Clarke and Bellamy dressed as an Azgeda warrior and made his way to her only to be stabbed and left to fend for himself. Monty and Kane found him struggling to follow the path Clarke was taken on and it took some serious convincing to get Bellamy to calm down and rethink. It seemed this was one in the same situation.

“We will find her, Bellamy. We need to head home and rethink, we can’t just head out blind.” Monty was pleading with Bellamy now too, he swore this situation was deja-vu. Bellamy waited for a moment and looked between both men.

“I promised Abby...” he whispered. “I can’t sleep knowing she’s out here, she could be dead and _I can’t-_ ” Bellamy’s voice broke.

“We will find her...Bellamy.” Kane said reassuringly as both Monty and Kane placed their hands on Bellamy’s shoulders guiding him home.  
It was going to be a long hike back and it was filled with soft sobs and sighs of frustration and a few more pep talks to get Bellamy to just go home.

“Open the gate!” a guard shouted as Jasper came into the clearing toward the gates of Arkadia. He had Clarke held tight in his hands as Jackson ran to him the moment he stepped foot into camp.

“What happened to her!” Jackson shouted and a few others followed behind him with a gurney for Clarke. “She got stabbed I don’t know, I just carried her she’s lost a lot of blood..” Jasper said softly in a distressed tone.

“Thank you, she will be okay Jasper.” Jackson said placing his hand on Jasper’s shoulder to reassure him that indeed Clarke would be okay and that he did good. Jackson was good at what he does and that’s why Abby left him in charge of medical while she took one of the search groups.

As Jackson and the rest of the medical team ran inside to work on Clarke, Jasper was left speechless and his fingers were soaked in Clarke’s blood. He was in distress in the worst way. The blood reminded him of his past and it took several deep breaths in order for him to contain his distress and agony. He saved Clarke and that’s what mattered.

  
“You did good, man.” Murphy spoke from behind him giving him a pat on the back.

"Thanks, Murphy.” Jasper sighed deeply. “That took a lot out of you didn’t it?” Murphy asked already knowing the answer.

“It was worth it” Jasper confessed. It was worth it, Jasper felt pride in the fact that he saved Clarke. He knows that things between the two of them would be good now and it only brought warmth to his heart.

  
Jackson worked on Clarke’s leg stitching up the large gash in her thigh. It was a while before she woke and Jackson patiently waited for her to do so. Clarke felt a numb sensation in her leg as she came to. Her eyes flickered open and her head dashed left and right to find her location. “Clarke you’re awake, it’s okay you’re in Arkadia.” Jackson said touching her arm to reassure. Clarke nodded “Where’s my mother.” Jackson was taken aback a moment given Clarke had called her “mother” instead of her cold tonned “Abby” and he concludes that it’s her memories at work.

“She took one of the search groups out to find you. Bellamy made everyone leave splitting up into search groups of three and four to make haste to find you - I think they have returned actually. Did you want to go and see them?” Clarke hardly hesitated trying to get up.

“Woah there, easy. You need a crutch.” Clarke sighed as Jackson met her on the side of the bed she attempted to get off of. He gave them to her and Clarke adjusted them to fit under her shoulders. She practiced around the room horizontally for a few minutes and nodded to Jackson as he smiled at her lightly.

“I’m good to go!” she said cheerfully as she made her way down the hall impatiently moving hoping that the first gaze she finds is Bellamy’s brown, eager eyes.

  
Kane, Bellamy and Monty return shortly after Abby’s group. The gates to Arkadia open as Bellamy’s sorrow filled eyes meet Abby’s and they close the space between them in a few short steps.

“I wont stop until I find her...but we had to come home to rethink...” Bellamy mumbled his eyes not meeting Abby’s anymore.

“Bellamy, you did good..” she snakes her arms around him and he holds her giving her a gentle rocking motion his hand held Abby’s head in the dip of his shoulder.

_“I’m so glad she has you...Bellamy.”_ he only nods as his mind trails off to the time he found Clarke after she left and he was only to be stabbed moments after he finally found her and lost her again. It angered him to feel this way but he couldn’t help it. Abby is sobbing in the crook of his shoulder blade and it wrenches his heart to hear her muffled sobs. He feels like he failed Clarke all over again. As he was holding Abby his eyes met Jasper's from across the way. Only a light smile comes from the side of Jasper's lips as Bellamy frowns over all of the blood he’s covered in. Jasper notices immediately and shakes his head smiling more. It confused Bellamy, that was until Jasper used his head to gesture towards the doors of the Ark.

There stood Clarke in crutches and his eyes widened and he let go of Abby.

“Bellamy are you alri-”

_“Clarke!”_ Bellamy shouted as she began to struggle her way over, her blue orbs matching the sky and tears streamed down her face. At this moment Bellamy was crying too. His walk broke into a sprint as he practically Clashed with Clarke’s body. He roped his arms around her lifting her up with exhales of relief, one arm around her body and the other snaked in the golden locks at the back of her head. “Clarke....” he whispered his voice breaking to the feeling of her body on his.

_“Bellamy...”_ she replied brokenly. For a while it felt like they were the only two people in the world. They were surrounded by Arkadians who watched their reunion with heart eyes and smiles. To them there was nobody. To them it was only Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin roped into one another's bodies held tighter than their bond. He let her down gently holding her noticing her crutches that were now on the floor and took both of his hand to her cheeks pulling her into a deep and longing kiss.

  
Clarke didn’t care anymore. She didn’t care if Arkadia knew. She didn’t care about if her mother didn’t like it. She eagerly kissed him back trailing her tongue along his lip deepening the kiss as his arm pulled her by the waist to press himself closer. She responded with her arms around his neck.

  
They were interrupted by an encouraging whistle and they let go laughing as their foreheads were pressed together, they looked over to where the whistle came from and there stood all of their friends smiling like a bunch of dorks that they were. They were howling and whistling as Murphy and Miller shouted in sync “about God damn time!”.  
Clarke and Bellamy were blind to the world around them. The only thing that was there was the two of them, their foreheads touching, their eager light kisses and the feeling of their arms around each other.

  
Clarke remembers the time she reunited with Bellamy after she was put in Mount Weather. She remembers it so clearly, she remembers the wind on her face as she ran to meet Bellamy, crashing into him. The love she felt was practically poring out of her, no different than the first time.

They finally broke their hug after a few more light kisses. Bellamy had his arms at her sides holding her to rely on his strength instead of the crutches.

_“I thought I lost you.”_ he mumbled. “Where did you go...”

“I went for a little walk and I kind of got taken...” she says softly watching Bellamy’s brow furrow.

_“Who”_ he said angrily.

“A woman named Echo and her men but-” she felt Bellamy tense. “She let me go to warn us that her men are controlling her and want to over throw their king.” she says her eyes trailing his to find his gaze. It was stone cold as his body continued it’s tense nature.

_“Then explain all of this.”_ he gestured his head down to her thigh.

“She couldn’t just let me go, they wouldn’t let her let me leave without some form of struggle for me...but she doesn’t seem to know how to aim without killing.” she laughed lightly and Bellamy’s brows furrowed angrily.

“That’s not funny, Clarke. She’s the one who tried to kill you.” he said firmly.

“Aa- I know I’m sorry...she was good to me...she fed me and everything.” Bellamy’s brows lessened from their furrow and he smiled lightly. He hated Echo for what she had done but found appreciation in her gesture for the most part, taking care of Clarke that is.

Clarke called for a group meeting in Headquarters of everyone they needed for a mission to meet with Roan. The group in the meeting consisted of all of the delinquents with Kane and Abby. It amused Abby, to see how no matter the differences between them, the delinquents stuck together like family.

“Okay everyone settle, we need to discuss our meet with Roan.” Kane cleared his throat as the room went quiet. His eyes trailed to Clarke and Bellamy. He had his hand around Clarke’s waist holding her so she didn’t have to rely on her crutches, Bellamy gave a light nod as Bellamy moved his hand on Clarke’s waist encouragingly wanting her to speak, she scanned the room nervously, smiles on every ones faces that she looked upon and she looked back up at Bellamy.

“It’s okay...Clarke.” he said softly pressing a light kiss to her temple.

She sighed lightly preparing to speak, clearing her throat.

“Echo gave specific instructions and information to me. The Azgeda warriors who don’t agree with Roan wish to overthrow him. Echo no longer has control of the men she leads. She has asked me to reach out to Arkadia and speak for Roan and Echo. We need to meet with Roan to figure out what we can do in regards to stopping the anarchy. We will be meeting at the cave....that I was taken to. I roughly remember the terrain from when they let me go free. There will be a trail from where I bled that we could follow as well...” she finished with soft tones feeling Bellamy’s fingers press at her side in tension.

“I need a few people to meet with him and Echo and bring them here. I know that isn’t desired but if there is rebels we need to keep them as safe as we keep our people.” she finished with authority prompting nods between the group.

“It’s settled then. Roan requested I accompany Clarke at all and any given situations so we will go.” Bellamy spoke firmly.

“Clarke can’t even walk without crutches, Bellamy.” Kane replied with a tone that sounded almost wavered. As if he was worried about Bellamy’s response.

“I can still walk, it will just take a little longer.” Clarke replied with irritation, Bellamy's fingers traced light soothing circles on her hip.

“If not Bellamy will carry her.” Raven remarked prompting a chuckle to come from Bellamy and the rest of the group.

“You’re not wrong there.” he confessed. “We leave in one hour, Monty and the rest of you do an inventory check. Prepare for war if needed.” Bellamy spoke with the potential to finish before Clarke finished his sentence.

“You’re all dismissed.” Clarke looked up at Bellamy who was dumb founded and smiling ear to ear.

_“Look at the brave princess.”_ He remarked smirking.

“Get a room please.” Murphy deadpanned as everyone headed out the door laughing at his response.

 

_The only way the ark is going to think I’m dead, is if I’m dead._

_Brave princess._

  
“Clarke...please be careful.” Abby spoke calmly holding Clarke’s hand as Bellamy loaded the back of the rover. “don’t worry so much, I got this.” Clarke said calmly giving Abby’s hand a tight squeeze.

“Take care of things topside.” Bellamy spoke firmly to Miller giving him a light nod.

“Anything, fearsome leader.” Miller said sarcastically prompting an eye roll from Bellamy.

“Hey Jasper” Bellamy called to him from across the way, Jasper was busying himself with a list. “Yeah, everything alright?” he spoke turning to Bellamy. He walked towards Jasper and put his hand on his shoulder. “Thank you...for saving Clarke.”

“Alright, Clarke. Let’s get going.” Bellamy said walking over to the women still deep in conversation.

“I trust you both.” Abby confessed smiling.

“Thank you, I will see you later.” Clarke was smiling genuinely and it pulled at Bellamy’s heart strings to see her actually smile at Abby. Considering just days ago Clarke was ready to rip her in half it was refreshing. Bellamy swooped Clarke off her feet bridal style.

“Bellamy!” she shouted laughing, he was smirking.

“Gotta load this one package in the car, it’s a wild princess.” he snorted putting her in the car.

_“Gross.”_ Murphy spoke by the gate.

“Shut up, Murphy, go find Emori she was looking for you.” Bellamy remarked closing the door on Clarke’s side of the rover. He hopped into his side after slugging his jacket on. He closed the door leaving Clarke and Bellamy in the silence of the confined space as he turned the keys to the rover as the loud hum rumbled from the engine.

“Ready?” he said softly. Clarke nodded and they left Arkadia.

They drove for a while in the direction Clarke remembers her and Jasper came from. There was a calm silence between the two of them for a while before Bellamy spoke.

“What did they do to you.” he mumbled, his eyes on the dirt paths before them, his hands on the steering wheel.

_“Bellamy...”_ she said softly turning to look at him.

“What did they do to you.” he repeated firmly.

“They knocked me out and I was just put in shackles, the only thing that hurts is my head. They fed me...nothing bad happened really...” she was mumbling worried that her words she was stumbling on were going to upset Bellamy. His arm reached over and he grabbed her wrist and pulled it toward him in view. He could see bruising around her wrists symbolizing she had struggled with them at one point.

“Bellamy...I’m okay.” he only nodded slightly before the car hauled to a stop.

“Don’t do that again” he paused for a moment “It was stupid to leave camp not knowing the terrain.” his voice was firm and authoritative.

“I’m sorry...my memories didn’t serve me well the other night, I was remembering things and I just needed to walk or something and I thought that for a few minutes the stillness of the night might clear my head.” she was mumbling and trailing off trying to find some escape from the conversation.

“next time, wait for me to go gallivanting through the forest, you could have gotten yourself killed.” she was silent now, her eyes looking down at her hands placed in her lap. Her index finger trailed along her wrist looking at the bruising that circled, it was the color of the veins beneath her skin. Bellamy’s hand reached over to hers and picked her left hand up pulling it closer to him as he leaned over to meet her wrist with his lips. She followed the movement to meet Bellamy’s gaze as he kissed her wrist repeatedly.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the one to save you.” he mumbled into her wrist.

“I wont go without you next time, I promise.” she said with a light smile tugging at her cheeks as she watched Bellamy’s eyes glow, still kissing her hands and wrist.

Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two very different things.  
Bellamy and Clarke set off on foot. It was weird to Clarke how she could remember the terrain even in the condition she was in. She was hoping Bellamy didn’t notice the speckles of blood that she was following but once he stopped dead in his tracks at a rock that she leaned on, she knew he wasn’t okay.

“Bellamy...” she turned to look at him, he had decided to follow along behind her so that if she fell using her crutches he could catch her and set her balance. His eyes widened and he looked from her to the rock and to her leg. “Bellamy I couldn’t just leave freely you know that” she stated flatly.

“you don’t just send a messenger free without some kind of other warning other than words, that’s what I did to Emerson....I remember that.” His eyes didn’t move from the stains.

“What Emerson was...and what you are...there is no similarities.” Bellamy stated flatly with irritation his eyes darting to Clarke.

“Would you stop it? I’m alive Bellamy that’s what matters.”

“No, Clarke. She shouldn’t have stabbed you. I will have a word with her myself.” Bellamy was irritated and the fire that flicked in his eyes spoke for him.

“Bellamy, enough please.” Clarke huffed in irritation and began to move forward again.

He rolled his eyes and followed along behind her. She doesn’t understand what she got herself into or what she could have done, he thought to himself. He was irritated over Echo’s actions, they could have been handled properly and he hates when Clarke gets herself into things that he’s not there to get her out of. It was a long walk of silence before they reached the cave.

“Welcome, Skaikru.” Echo spoke quietly watching the two come into the clearing by the cave.

“Bellamy Kom Skaikru it is good to see you.” Roan spoke coming out from the darkness of the cave.

“You too, Roan.” Bellamy smirked slightly.

“Clarke I am sorry you lost your memory but allow me to introduce myself. I am King Roan of Azgeda, I am your ally and mean you no harm. Let’s discuss what is needed.” Roan spoke firmly in an authoritative tone. He was always so respectful to Clarke and it left admiration to fill the air.

  
“We need you to come to Arkadia, you know as well as I do that staying here could be trouble. We will discuss in our Headquarters.” Bellamy said firmly, his eyes bouncing between the three unlikely allies.

  
“I am sorry for your wound, perhaps I should be less aggressive.” Echo spoke to Clarke with a straight, un wavered face and Bellamy glared at Echo. She was walking a very thin line with him.

  
“Let’s get going” Bellamy’s face was firm and filled with irritation as he glared at Echo, Roan chuckled.

“Clarke walk with me.” Roan said his hand brushing her upper arm.

  
Bellamy walked ahead his gun in hold and Echo walked next to him.  
This was going to be a long walk back to the rover.

Clarke and Roan talked the entire way back prompting light giggles from Clarke's lips. He was always amused by Clarke but now she had changed and her attitude was far less of a commander of death and more of a delight than anything else.

“You’re more fun when you’re hit over the head.” Roan scoffed and Clarke laughed.

Bellamy mumbled things under his breath here and there. He respected Roan no doubtably so but his humor was sour.

“Easy, Bellamy.” Echo said lightly.

_“Don’t speak to me.”_ Bellamy snapped at Echo.

“Look I am sorry. I am aware that I was on the wrong side.” Echo confessed and braced herself.

“No shit.” Bellamy deadpanned.

There was silence between the two of them and Clarke's cheerful conversation just behind them only filled the silence.

  
“You love her, don’t you.” Echo questioned knowing full well of the answer.

Bellamy nodded slightly. “It’s admirable...” she confessed as Bellamy glanced over at her.

“Why are you asking me this as if you have a right to know.” Bellamy’s voice was hostile.

“Do you ever think we will be able to trust each other again?” she asked softly hoping for reassurance.

“Doubt it.” his response was quick and blatant and for a quick moment he remembers Gina. The woman next to him was quiet and closed off. She had wished that she took care of things better. She wished her decisions didn’t put a canyon of disgust between them but she knew the man that walked next to her, the man who saved her life, would never forgive her.

“You ask for forgiveness?” he asked nonchalantly. She only slowly nodded and turned to look at him.

“If you had just listened to your king, none of this would have happened the way it did. You’re no different than the man I stuck that sword through.” Bellamy’s voice was nothing but hostility and disgust.

_“If you killed her, my hands would be around your neck.”_ Bellamy finished.

There was no words to come from Echo only silence. Her mind raced as she thought of the moments he saved her. She knew that she would never get the forgiveness she desired.  
They reached the rover and the ride home was mostly silent with minor comments here and there between Clarke and Roan and occasionally Echo. Bellamy was silent, an occasional glare to Echo from the center mirror. She would meet his eyes in the mirror every time. There was something about Bellamy that changed to her. It was his demeanor, the way he carried himself. He was already a guarded man but it was so much more now that there was a space between them. He at one point considered her an ally and she had ruined that. She hopes that after the rebellion was taken care of he could at least look at her with something other than daggers.

He was in love and protective and she admired that. She could see how much Clarke meant to him from the moment she had done what she did and now to see it in a conscious state made Echo smile on the inside. The world was cold and painful, hers full of blood and suffering, but his love for Clarke radiated the way the sun did when it rose in the morning.  
They made it back to Arkadia and immediately headed to the Headquarters. Bellamy helped Clarke out of the rover and Roan watched smirking. He was their number one fan and he made it very clear. Clarke only smiled and if Bellamy wasn’t so angry he would have too. Echo watched them with sorrowful eyes. They filled the headquarters room filing in with the group from earlier that day.

“Welcome to Arkadia.” Kane spoke respectfully.

“Thank you for the warm welcome, Skaikru.” Roan replied. “Some of my people wish to overthrow my rule. They do not agree with Lexa’s coalition. I have already asked Trikru for their help and Indra agreed to help us.” Octavia’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“The intel Echo has gathered states that the army of rebels will be headed toward Arkadia in a days time. It is not much time to prepare however they wish to overthrow Arkadia because you are allies of mine. Over throw you and they will be able to overthrow their king. It does not have to be war. I will give them an ultimatum come the moment we see them. I will tell them to drop their weapons and they will be spared. Those who do not join will be executed. I apparently didn’t make myself clear the first time I said this.” Roan chuckled.

“They will be headed through the canyon pass, if we wish to stop them we must meet them there to stop them before they get too close. We will get Trikru to meet us there also.” Roan finished giving a light nod to Bellamy, Clarke and Kane who stood at the opposite side of the table. Kane was drawing on the light board table in front of them mapping what was needed to chart the territory they will be going to.

The meeting was quick and established. They had no time to discuss minor things because war was just two sunrises away. They had only tomorrow to fully prepare what they needed to. Jasper, Monty, Miller and Harper spent the day doing inventory check to prepare but it was precautionary. It was a thought they all shared, they were glad they prepared earlier.  
Bellamy and Clarke spent that night in Clarke's quarters.

“Bell, maybe you should just move your things in here...your room must be collecting dust.” Clarke’s remark was cheeky and had Bellamy chuckling.

“You’re not wrong there.” He was already on the bed sitting in just his boxers with a book in hand. Clarke sat on the edge of the bed slipping her jeans off revealing small blue boy shorts that made Bellamy’s heart flutter. She stood up walking toward her dresser.

“Clarke, wait let me help you.” Bellamy was up and at her side before she could protest. She picked out shorts and gave them to him, he bent his knees and Clarke put her hands on his shoulders. Bellamy stopped when he finally got a look at Clarke’s wound. Clarke looked down at Bellamy once she felt his body stiffen. They had grown comfortable around one another and she knew Bellamy had no intentions on pushing anything against her but this wasn’t because he was close to her body. He was stiff because he saw just how bad the injury was. Clarke took her hand and ran it through his hair.

_“Bellamy...”_ she said softly. He was just knelt down, staring at her thigh, it was like he zoned out. She felt his hand clench around her thigh opposite to the injured one.

“Bellamy please, I’m okay.” he let out a broken sigh as he helped her into her shorts sliding them up her body. He even made a point to lift the fabric by her wound so it didn’t irritate. The gesture was pleasant and respectful and it made her smile. He rose to his feet and pulled her into a hug. It caught her off guard and a little yelp and a laugh followed as she returned it. 

"Too tight, Bell!” she giggled as he nuzzled his head in her hair, his arms held so tight around her waist. He lifted her up bridal style, leaning her into him his forehead touching hers.

“My princess looks tired.” he assumed with a little smirk.

“Yes, how could you tell.” she mocked him rolling her eyes.

He walked her to the bed and placed her on her side of the bed. He walked over and tucked himself into his side pulling her close to his chest. There was a moment of silence before Bellamy gathered words. “I’m really proud of you, Clarke. You’re being that leader I spoke so proudly of. You’re a natural at it.”

"You once told me that leaders do what they think is right, and I am.” she admitted softly.

_Leaders do what they think is right._

_I am._

“I don’t think I ever stood against your resolve after that day, you know?” he chuckled playing with the golden locks on the back of her head.

  
_Dear God she was the sun, she was the moon, she was his world, she was the galaxies and she was here with him. she was his._

“Bellamy...I know you tell me over and over not to thank you but here comes another one.” she said as he felt her smile into his chest. She then looked up to him to meet his eyes. He smiled and his eyes only sparkled.

“You give great heart eyes you know that.” she deadpanned.

“Clever princess.” he tickled her and she shouted and squealed. He then pressed his lips to hers in between her laughter. He could feel her smile on her face as she felt his on hers. The feeling of his bare chest pressed against her body left her blood to boil and she deepened the kiss putting her hand on the back of his head. He responded as he let half of his body weight press to hers his knee in between her legs.

  
His tongue found itself in her mouth as it played with hers, she let out a soft groan as her hands roamed his back. It was a moment of intimacy they hadn’t felt before. As much as he wanted this, as much as his calloused hands roamed the softness of her waist, he knew that they could not rush this. He wanted to make this special, he wanted to give her his undivided attention and the possibility of war and death to follow made it difficult. Bellamy broke the kiss pressing his forehead to hers, she let out a little irritated sigh and he chuckled lightly.

“don’t be like that.” she pouted.

“as much as I would like to keep going, we can’t.” he confessed.

“and why not?” her tone was mild and expressed irritation,

he only smirked. “because I can’t get the fact that war is around the corner out of my head and I would much prefer we do this at a later date when I can give my princess my undivided attention. I don’t want to rush this, Clarke.” he was honest and his heart eyes were true. She smiled as he lifted his head, his eyes met hers.

“you’re right.” she confessed happily, he pressed a light kiss to her. “Let’s get some sleep, okay?” he asked and she nodded. He roped his arms around her pulling her back to his stomach breathing in that familiar lavender.

  
Bellamy didn’t know if there was a God. He believed in mythology, he read stories until his eyes were sore but if there was a heaven or an after life. It would never compare to how it felt, holding Clarke and breathing in her existence.

No Goddess he ever read about could compare.  
It was like Bellamy and Clarke’s thoughts were connected.

Bellamy’s thoughts trailed off as he remembered when Alie took over Raven.

You might as well have just shoved Aurora out of the airlock yourself. Do you think she'd be proud of you now? For the kind of leader you've become? Or would she see the truth like the rest of us do? That you're a follower. Clarke's been back for one day and you're already taking orders. The good little knight by his queen's side. Too bad you were never that devoted to Gina.  
He sighed and held Clarke closer. He knew that Gina deserved better. He knew that he always put Clarke first and for a while he didn’t know why. Clarke had and will always be his priority. Alie’s words were honest and painful. Bellamy remembers his mother too. He thinks about how much Aurora, would have loved Clarke. He imagines dinners together with his mother, Octavia and Clarke. He imagines the laughter and smiles and the many memories that would follow. He imagines telling his mother she would be a grandmother one day, he imagines how happy his mother would be to see him happy....and then he remembers Clarke forgiving him.

_You’re okay. No, I’m not_   
_My mother.... if she knew what I’ve done._   
_Who I am-_   
_she raised me to be better To be good..._

_Bellamy- and all I do is hurt people._   
_I’m a monster._

_hey...you saved my life today._   
_You may be a total ass half the time but - I need you._   
_We all need you. None of us would have survived this place if it wasn’t for you._

_You want forgiveness, fine, I’ll give it to you, you’re forgiven, ok,_   
_but you can’t run, Bellamy._   
_You have to come back with me._

_He spent time deep in his thoughts, his eyes closed, breathing Clarke in. He knows that Aurora would be happy for him. He thinks that maybe she would be proud...too._

_Before Clarke fell asleep, she too thought about Alie’s words._

_Everywhere you go, death follows. You always want to save everyone. What you don't realize is you're the one we need saving from. Wells is dead because you couldn't see Charlotte was a basket case. Finn is dead because you broke his heart and then put a knife into it. Hell, I bet you got Lexa killed, too._

_Clarke begins to remember bits of Charlotte in her memories. She remembers what Finn did to Raven and her and internally rolled her eyes. She remembered how much Finn meant to Raven and it pulled at her heart strings. She remembers Lexa, she remembers loving Lexa. She found comfort in the thoughts of Lexa for a brief moment. She knew she loved Lexa and the thoughts of Lexa made her appreciate the man holding her that much more. She knows that Lexa would be happy for her. Happy that she has someone like Bellamy. She remembers Lexa talking about how much Clarke cared for Bellamy and things seemed to fit together like small puzzle pieces. She was right where she wanted to be. Bellamy’s arms stood like castle walls. It did not matter the trebuchet's outside those walls. He would never let the walls crumble down around her._   
_She knew she was in love with Bellamy Blake._

Dear God, she was in love with Bellamy Blake.


	7. Valley of the Destroyer.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A rebellion against the greater good, what are the odds.” Bellamy was sarcastic and used his shitty humor in the worst of times but Roan could only laugh and agree. The friendship they were developing was a delight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This looks like it will be ten chapters in total with the way it's shaping out to be. I'm really enjoying writing this as I've said before. I hope you're enjoying as well. 
> 
> Keep up with my shenanigans here: 
> 
> http://myindepthmind.tumblr.com/
> 
> https://twitter.com/Myindepthmind_

Loud banging and, footsteps stirred both Bellamy and, Clarke awake when the lights to their room were flicked on.

“We need you both, now.” Kane spoke firmly with Abby at his side.

“Do you people understand the concept of privacy.” Bellamy groaned into his pillow his arm still snaked around Clarke.

“Sorry, Bellamy. It’s late and we need to meet with the army before noon.” Kane replied with a light laugh. Abby smiled at the two of them.

“Just next time please knock or you wont like me.” Bellamy said in a sleepy irritated voice.

Clarke only giggled as Kane and Abby left the room.

“Looks like we need to change the locks.” he mumbled lifting himself onto his elbows, his hair curly and a complete mess. His eyes half open.

“Look who’s the princess, now.” she remarked poking him in the nose. She was smirking at him and he thought it was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

  
“Shut up....” he groaned not willing to banter.

He was still propped up on his elbows, his head hung low with his forehead practically kissing the mattress.

“Make me.” she challenged him and his head swung up to meet her gaze. The fire in Clarke’s eyes matched his own and the two of them could set fire to Arkadia. Bellamy responds to her challenge kissing her hard, pressing her into the mattress. Their kiss is sloppy,wild filled with morning breath and lust. She breaks the kiss peppering kisses down his jawline to his neck gently sucking and playing her tongue against his neck. He lets out a soft groan his fingers gripping the fabric beneath him by Clarke’s head.

_“Clarke...”_ he mumbles meeting her gaze. _“you’re going to be the death of me.”_ he confesses lightly laughing putting his forehead to hers.

Her right hand and her fingers playing along his jawline.

“Let’s get going then, busy day you know.” she smirked. He scoffs under his breath and smirks.

_“You’re going to regret this the day I get my hands on you.”_ Bellamy confessed, his eyes grew dark. It shook Clarke to the core, she knows that he isn’t bluffing and the thought of it made her insides wind tight.

After a few more yawns and lazy movement Bellamy and Clarke were on their feet and headed outside to meet with Kane and Abby. They exited to the ark to find Abby and Kane on the far right by the supplies and the group working to load them into the second rover fixed by Raven herself.

“Nice to see you out of bed, sleeping beauty.” Kane teased Bellamy. He only rolled his eyes at Kane.

“If I’m a “sleeping beauty” that puts me under the qualifications of princess therefore don’t interrupt my sleeping schedule.” Bellamy remarked.

“ah he got you there.” Abby teased Kane. This banter between the four of them felt weird for Bellamy. It was like they were a small half functional family. There were some moments where it felt welcoming. Maybe, when this was all over they would all actually feel like a family. The delinquents were like family no doubtably so. They were family to Bellamy and Clarke. However it would truly be something to consider Clarke’s mother family.

  
“Alright, the preparations are finished. Whenever you’re ready sir.” Miller spoke to Kane.

“Alright, let’s head out.” Kane said firmly. He turned to say his goodbyes to Abby.

Letting her know that he would be safe and come home to her. Kane would never replace Clarke’s father but it warmed her heart to see her mother treated so well. She turned to look at Bellamy who was standing in front of her.

  
Bellamy stood in front of Clarke with a hundred different things racing through his mind.

What he wanted to say was I love you. He wanted to tell her that he loves her. However, those were not the words he felt were right. They were not the words, not yet. He wanted to make sure Clarke loved him before she spoke it. He knows infatuation can make you say ludicrous things and he worries for a while that maybe that’s what it was. Maybe she was infatuated with him because he was the only one there for her. He considered all of those things. His feelings left him transparent and insecure and he hated that Clarke caught on the moment he made eye contact with her. “Come home to me, please.” she said softly, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. “I need you in my life.” she finished, her hands then snaked around his waist playing with his holster. “Stop talking to me like you’re never going to see me again. I will be home in a few days.” his voice was firm with delicate undertones. He didn’t want his words to come off hoarse or angry. He wanted Clarke to think positively about his absence. He didn’t want her to worry the way he knows she will.

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m going to miss you, Bellamy.” she kissed his cheek and a smile curled to her lips as her eyes danced around his face. He pressed light kisses to her lips and nodded.

“I’m going to miss you too, Clarke. I’ll see you soon.” If he let this goodbye drag on long enough, he wouldn’t leave. She felt his distance and it left an upset bubble in her stomach.

_“I’ll see you soon...”_ she whispered sadly. He kissed her forehead and took her hand kissing her knuckles.

_“You will.”_ those were his last words before he turned on his heel, refusing to meet the sadness in the depths of her ocean blue eyes.

Once he let go of her hand, hers lingered in the space he let it go.  
Clarke remembers leaving Bellamy, for the first time.

_I think we deserve a drink. Have one for me._

_Hey, if we can get through this- I’m not going in._

_Look. If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you._   
_You’re forgiven. Please come inside._   
_Take care of them for me._   
_Clarke-_   
_No. Seeing their faces every day is just gonna remind me of what I did to get them here._

_What we did. You don’t have to do this alone._

_I bare it so they don’t have to. Where you gonna go?_   
_I don’t know._

_May we meet again. May we meet again._

Letting him leave with her memories playing in her head left her to cry. For how long? she doesn’t quite remember.

  
“They will keep him safe, Clarke.” Abby said with a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  
Clarke only nodded nervously leaving to pack his things in his home for when he got back.

 

Arkadia’s army was small and paled in comparison to Trikru but to have Trikru as an ally was nothing but the greatest of gains. Bellamy did not have a pleasant past with anything involving grounders but he had to admit that having them as ally’s only served as an asset. Bellamy and Kane led Arkadia down the valley to meet Roan and Indra who already awaited their arrival. “Welcome Skaikru” Roan spoke in his king like manner that could only be described as confident.

“Not sure if this is a situation to be welcomed to, but thanks.” Bellamy remarked. “We press forward as one until we meet head on with the rebels.” Idra spoke in her usual orderly tone.

“A rebellion against the greater good, what are the odds.” Bellamy was sarcastic and used his shitty humor in the worst of times but Roan could only laugh and agree. The friendship they were developing was a delight.

  
Roan and Bellamy walked together behind Indra and Kane who were deep in conversation.

  
Bellamy felt tense with his gun in his hand. He couldn’t begin to describe the feelings he has toward this entire scenario. After Alie, Bellamy, figured the war was over and here he was along side Roan, walking into a potential blood bath. It made his skin crawl. There was silence between the men before Roan spoke to break what seemed to be an awkward silence.“So how is, Clarke?” Roan asked curiously turning his head to look at Bellamy.

“Oh, it’s not “Wanheda” anymore?” he said dryly.

“Not until she remembers.” he replied in the same fashion. There was a little pause of hesitance in Bellamy. It wasn’t because he didn’t trust Roan, but more because Clarke was still a fragile topic. She was healing no doubtably so, but he still worried about her.

“Your mind wanders to her like the plague of our ancestors.” Roan carried his smirk confidently, his eyes wandering the army making sure nobody was out of place.

“Yeah something like that.” Bellamy mumbled.

“Be mindful of where your thoughts wander in times like these, you could get distracted.” Roan was giving Bellamy, advice which he could only describe as a new sensation. He looked up to Roan, he admired him even. “

You’re right” he confessed “she’s distracting to say the least. - I just worry about her.” Roan chuckled. “I don’t doubt she thinks the same of you, Bellamy Kom Skaikru.”

“They’re here!” one of the soldiers from Trikru shouted as along the horizon stood Azgeda’s rebellion. The air grew thick as the sound of men drawing their weapons filled Bellamy’s ears.

Please tell me that going to war is not what you want.

His ears were ringing, his body was filled with adrenaline for what was to come.  
Bellamy remembers Clarke in that moment, the sound of war drums and swords.  
Bellamy remembers the sound of Clarke, breathing when she was in deep slumber.

The smell of lavender, the taste of her lips.  
His calloused fingers pressed against his gun, loaded and ready.  
A sudden silence filled the air as Rebel and the Alliance stood face to face. Roan swept his way through the crowd and Bellamy, Kane and Idra followed along behind until they stood in front of their army.

Bellamy felt like a leader amongst anarchy.  
Pride swelled in his chest.

  
“You rebel against the good we wish to give to the world.” Roan started speaking to the man who seemed to lead the army in front of them.

“You let Wanheda, walk after her crimes, you walk along side Skaikru like they belong on this planet, you are weak along with your resolve. You do not have what it takes to lead if you walk along Skaikru’s side.” Bellamy thought this man had to be stupid. Sure Roan, was new to leading but, in no way was he incapable of doing so. He had exactly what it took to lead and not much could waver his resolve.

“Your Queen, my mother, taught Azgeda only war. She taught us to fight our allies, to trust only Azgeda, which is wrong. We live on a planet filled with blood shed, do you not tire of it?” Roan spoke calmly to the man in front of him. “There is no peace between men of the sky.” the rebel seemed to be choking on his own resolve. He seemed effected by his Kings words. “I myself, did not accept Wanheda and the Sky people but, I was wrong. These are my allies.” Roan gestured using his hands to Bellamy and Kane.

“Who is Skaikru’s leader?” The rebel spoke in a questioning tone.

Bellamy turned to look at Kane who did not step forward. “I was.” he paused turning to Bellamy. “I am for now yes, the leader.” What was he talking about? why did he look over at me? Bellamy thought to himself remembering Kane’s words to him when they had spoke just weeks before. He had said that Bellamy and Clarke would make great leaders. The way of the Chancellor was over however, Kane did make the final decisions with Bellamy. Was Kane planning to give that authority to Bellamy? he could only wonder.

  
The Azgeda rebel drew his bow out aiming it at Kane and Bellamy’s heart raced faster than imaginable.

“You don’t want to do this, war makes us murderers, this will be a blood bath, this will never leave your head if you’re not dead after this.” Bellamy’s hands were raised trying to reason with the man in front of him. “War isn’t what you want. Death only follows. You’re wishing death upon everyone in this Valley. This makes you no different from the woman you wish to kill. The beliefs you have of Wanheda, this makes you no different.” Bellamy spoke firmly though his nervousness could be felt as Roan sensed it he placed his hands on Bellamy’s shoulder.

Bellamy turned his head to look at Roan and Roan, gave Bellamy a reassuring nod that he was in his place to speak for the King. Within what felt like a blink of an eye the rebel before them drew his sword sliding it through Bellamy’s right side. Roan’s eyes widened as blood slipped from his lip.

_“Bellamy!”_ Kane shouted hysterically.

“There is no peace so long as the people of the sky thrive.” Bellamy’s knee’s buckled and hit the floor, his body falling to the sensation seconds later.

“Attack!” Indra’s words were fire and horns were sounded. Roan looked between the Rebel man before him, Kane and Bellamy’s body. Chaos surrounded them as men ran passed them head on to the battle before them. The rebel man disappeared amongst the chaos and Roan and Kane were left with Bellamy. Roan, waited no time before slugging Bellamy into his arms.

“I’m gonna get you out of here.” Roan spoke hoarsely, carrying Bellamy’s dead weight.

“Kane let’s go.” The three of them took shelter and safety in a veil of the forest. It was shaded enough to keep them hidden, loud sounds of battle and the roar of bloodshed only echoed the valley.

  
“Bellamy, stay with me.” Kane took Bellamy’s face in his hands. He reached to the pack he had behind him grabbing a small first aid kit.

“His wound is bad.” Roan spoke holding his hand to Bellamy’s wound.

“We can’t do much here, we need to bring him back to Arkadia, or he will die here.” Kane spoke nervously.

“I had practiced this scenario with Echo, she knows to lead our army with Indra.” Roan spoke as Kane made haste to wrap Bellamy’s side up as best as he could being an amateur. He thought to himself for a brief moment that if he just watched Abby, once or twice, he would know how to save Bellamy. “Roan I need you to watch Bellamy while I grab two of the horses, please watch over him.” Kane got up and Roan nodded to him. He wasn’t one to take orders but his ally lay practically lifeless next to him and he had no choice. Roan leaving put a target on his back far bigger than Kane's. It was the safest option.

  
Kane left the veil and Roan propped Bellamy up against a tree. Bellamy stirred in his state, not quite conscious but not quite too far gone.

“This wound is worse than what I did to you.” he chuckled a little bit and Bellamy coughed hearing Roan’s voice. “shut up...” he mumbled, his hand held to his wound in attempts to relieve pain, he only groaned between his heavy breathing.

  
A voice came from not too far away. “So, you decide to run. As I said earlier, a coward of a King who speaks highly but wavers to those who stand against him.” It was the man who lead the rebels standing before them. His word still drawn and fresh from Bellamy’s blood. Roan groaned in frustration rising to the challenge. Roan knew he could die here. His wound that Abby and Clarke saved him from was still healing. Echo attempted to help him get back to his old potential but he pushed himself far too often.

“You and this man die here today.” The rebel confessed. Roan shuffled off his cloak from his shoulders drawing his sword in his ready stance.

“No, your pitiful rebellion and your own arrogance will be the only thing to fall today.” Roan spoke firmly walking toward the man before him. The air was dense as they circled one another, both ready for what was to come next.

 

The rebel swung at Roan and he effectively dodged it. The sound of swords clashing echoed the woods. The duel was heated and Roan met the mans hostile swings gallantly. He had training far more advanced than the man before him and he knew that he had the upper hand. There were points where Roan had the upper hand and points where the man before him took charge. He deemed him only as a worthy opponent and could only imagine how many times this rebel dreamed of taking down the King.  
This duel went on for a while and Roan grew exhausted. This was only because of the wound he had on his side. It made him weaker than he would be if he was healed. Roan was one of the greatest fighters in Azgeda before he took on the role of King. The Rebel swung his sword up and around hooking it, knocking it out of Roan’s hand. Roan's eyes followed to where the sword fell and in that moment the rebel kicked him in the chest Roan, plummeting to the ground with a loud grunt. He panicked scrambling to try to reach his sword but the man only took his foot and pressed it to Roan’s chest.

  
Bellamy’s ears were ringing and he could hear the clashing of blades. He deemed it only possible that this may be his last moments. His eyes were drowsy and his strength was minimal but he knew that this was not how he wanted to die. Bellamy had his future in mind. He wanted to be happy with Clarke. He wanted a future with Clarke. He wanted to marry her, he wanted children, he wanted Clarke. There was no way this wound was going to be what took him down.  
He was a stubborn man guilty of the plagues of life. He did things he hated to remember. He at times felt like he did not deserve to live in this life anymore.

_You were hurting and you lashed out, because that's what you do. There are consequences, Bell. People get hurt. People die. Your people. Monroe's dead. Lincoln is dead._

However, the soft voice in his head, the one he woke up to every morning, made him want to live. He wanted to live for Clarke, he wanted to live for his sister.

_You're dead to me._

He would die a thousand times over so long as it would make Clarke happy and he knew that dying here today would bring her more agony than he wished to ever imagine. He would bring agony to the two women who meant the world to him.

_I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting, just please don’t kill him._

Bellamy struggled, his eyes flickering open to the sound of her voice. He saw Roan on the floor with the tip of the blade held close to his throat. Words flew between the men he could not make out what they were saying. The flooding sensation in his body, the adrenaline and the white noise left him numb to pain.

_I need you._

His hands wandered his side desperately trying to find something, anything, to help Roan.

_Let me guess. You came here to fix things. Wanheda, the peacemaker._

He hoped he would find his pocket knife, his muffled groans and shooting pain followed his desperate attempt to find solution.

_What do you do when you realize you might not be the good guy?_   
_Maybe there are no good guys._

He reached to his hip and found a small pistol. How did that get there? he groaned thinking to himself. He didn’t remember picking up a pistol...then realization dawned on him. Clarke must have slipped it there at some point between their goodbyes, her playing with his holster?  
He slipped it out of the holster and it was indeed Clarke’s pistol. He leaned and struggled with it, his body shaking.  
He aimed it at the man before him that was towering over Roan.

“You will die here today almighty, King.” The rebel spoke proudly.

_C'mon, Clarke. You're really willing to trust that guy with your life?_

_No. But you'll be covering us the entire time. And I trust you._

Bellamy muffled “Hey, jackass.” the rebels head shot up to look at Bellamy, Roan shot his head to look at Bellamy, shocked by his voice.

_“I am become death, destroyer of worlds....”_ Bellamy mumbled as he shot the pistol, the bullet entered the man’s forehead as his body tumbled backwards onto the ground. Roan let out a hoarse cough.  
Roan stumbled over to lean against the tree next to Bellamy.

“You need to stop” Roan breathed heavily. “with the cheesy punch lines, kid.” He chuckled between his coughing.

“That one was...Clarke's” Bellamy mumbled exhaling hard. His hand at his waist and his words filled with winces of agony.

Kane showed just moments later with two horses and Octavia.

_“Bell!”_ shouted dismounting off the horse. Kane looked between the body, Roan and Bellamy.

“Just...don’t ask.” Roan mumbled sarcastically.

“It’s going to be okay, big brother.” Octavia hopped on the horse and Kane and Roan helped Bellamy onto it.

“Bellamy I need you to hold onto me, okay.” Octavia said softly and Bellamy used his weak hands to hold onto his sister, his face pressed against her shoulder. Kane only hoped that his people down still fighting were safe as they headed back to Arkadia, leaving the Valley of death and war to echo in the distance.

Back in the valley, Echo and Indra double teamed any man who crossed them. Her fighting style was no match for the arrogant men before them. A rebel with a bigger build towered over her knocking her to the ground and before he could put so much as a finger on Echo a blade pierced through the mans skull. She looked up to find one of the Azgeda rebels drawing the blade from his skull.

“You’re not the only one who was forced! Not everyone here agreed with the Rebellion! we had no choice! they threatened our families!” The man shouted. Echo at this point was dumb founded as she watched the man yell of the top of his lungs to signal a small rebellion inside of a rebellion? she laughed and rolled her head back as the man reached a hand out to Echo. “Let’s do this.” he chuckled. Echo knew not all of Azgeda stood against her Kings rule and with delight her enemies turned to allies and they fought the rest of the Rebellion with what felt like ease. However, she couldn’t let her arrogance get to her, the war was not over yet.

They made it to Arkadia in record time given that Octavia lead the way. She was most familiar with the terrain and her determination to get her brother home stood true. Roan had enough strength to follow them even though the movement of the horse below him made his body ache.  
They made it to Arkadia and the gates swung open. Abby met Kane’s gaze and her eyes found Octavia’s. She quickly dismounted practically lifting her brother off alone before Kane helped.

“He was stabbed, I tried to cover it as best as possible.” Kane spoke, his voice was anxious and distraught.

“I need a team to Med-bay now! Get me a gurney!” Abby shouted pointing fingers as a team hastily found what she ordered. Clarke heard the commotion. Her eyes danced around the situation and they landed on the figure placed in the gurney.

_“Oh God....Bellamy!”_ she dropped her crutches. She had been caught in a conversation with Emori about planting, however that was no doubtably interrupted. She was in a sprint now ignoring the shooting pain from her leg and Octavia cut her off half way grabbing onto her.

_“Bellamy!”_ Clarke was sobbing.

“Clarke! listen to me! he needs to go, your mom needs to help him! you’re only going to get in the way!” Octavia had her hands on Clarke’s shoulders shaking her to try to get her to focus.

  
“I can do it! I can save him!” she tried to squirm in Octavia’s grasp.

“No, Clarke! Look at me! if you go in there you will be distracted, you will not focus! stop trying to be the hero!” Octavia shook her as Clarke broke into sobs.

She was hysterical and fell to her knees, her fists balled punching the floor. Raven and Harper had stayed back and they stopped what they were doing and ran over once they saw the state Clarke was in. They all knelt down and huddled around Clarke holding her.

_“I can’t do this without him...”_ she mumbled. Sobs wracked her body and she shook in the girls hold. They all exchanged saddened looks, knowing full well that there was nothing they could do for Clarke.

The girls sat in silence in the Med-bay hallway, the only noise was Clarke’s soft sobs.  
Octavia couldn’t truly think of what to say until she remembered a far to similar situation that happened not too long ago. Clarke’s behavior was no different than Bellamy’s when he discovered Clarke’s state.  
She repeated a similar phrase to Clarke that she said to Bellamy.

_She will remember you, I promise._

“Bellamy is going to be okay, I promise.” She whispered softy rubbing Clarke’s tear stained cheeks. Her blue depths mirrored the sadness she remembered in her brothers.  
They could only wait for his recovery.

Time passed and it felt like hours. They sat in the little waiting hall and Raven couldn’t help but reflect on this situation. It was too familiar but this time she wasn’t pacing. She was sitting next to Clarke who just sat there staring blankly. Octavia in turn was the one pacing now, her braids swinging left and right. Harper sat on the side adjacent to Raven, Clarke in between them both. It looked like a part of Clarke died. She looked like a drone, an empty body. Her eyes swelled and red with the blue gradient crystals of her eyes not moving from the zone she was stuck in.  
Harper could only imagine what could possibly be going through Clarke’s head.

_I let her get to me._

_You don’t say._   
_Take a break. I’ll let her beat me up for a while._

Clarke’s thoughts raced in her numb state. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities that sat in front of her.  
She would not live without Bellamy.

Octavia was pacing thinking about how things had gone down between her and Bellamy. They truly hadn't sat down and actually spoke after Lincolns death. Octavia was far too stubborn. She did blame Bellamy for a long while. After some thinking over the past while she realized that it wasn’t all his fault and the simplest of answers for her was to blame Bellamy. She constantly found herself blaming him.

Her brother was in the other room possibly dying and there were no words to describe the pang of guilt that flooded her system along with her memories.  
  
_Octavia, no. Let's give them something else to remember you by._  
 _yeah? Like what?_  
 _Like being the first person on the ground in 100 years._  
 _I did this for you, to protect you!_  
 _If the ark finds out we’re alive, they’ll come down._  
 _and when they do...I’m dead._  
 _What did you do?_  
 _I shot him_  
 _I shot Jaha._  
 _What?_  
 _I found out they were sending you to earth. I couldn’t let you go alone._  
 _Someone came to me with a deal. Do this, kill him,_  
 _and they get me on the drop ship._  
 _and I did it._

_You killed the chancellor?_   
_He floated our mother._   
_He locked you up_   
_He deserved it._   
_I didn’t ask you to do that._

_You’re right._   
_I made the choice_   
_This is on me._   
_Whatever they sent down, I’ll take care of it._

_I didn’t ask for any of this._

_Hey, Hey._   
_Why were you defending him._   
_Because he saved my life._   
_That spear that hit Roma was actually meant-_

_No, you’re wrong. I saved your life._   
_For all you know, he was keeping you alive to use you as bait for one of their traps._

_No. I don’t think so._   
_You don’t think, O! That’s the problem._   
_They killed three of our people today._   
_and if you would’ve let me kill him when I had the chance,_   
_Finn wouldn’t be in there dying right now._

_Stop blaming me for your mistakes._   
_What happened to Finn is not my fault._   
_I wanted to leave, so if Finn dies in there, that’s on you._   
_Everything that’s gone wrong is because of you._   
_You got me locked up on the Ark._   
_You wanted me to go to that stupid dance._   
_You got mom killed!_

_Me?_   
_Mom was floated for having you._   
_She’s dead because you’re alive._   
_That was her choice._   
_I didn’t have a choice._   
_My life ended the day you were born._

_Let’s move._

_We’ll never make it._   
_Leave me._   
_I’ll find another way._   
_I’m not going anywhere without you._

_Octavia?_   
_Lincoln!_

_You did this?_   
_with Finn._   
_I can help you, but you have to come with me now._

_Go._   
_Let him help you. No way_   
_I have to see this through._

_You can’t walk_   
_and I can’t get you back to the dropship._

_He’s right._

_This fight is over for you._   
_O, O, listen to me._   
_I told you my life ended the day you were born._   
_The truth is.... it didn’t start until then._   
_Go with him._   
_I need you to live._   
_Besides...I got this._   
_I love you, big brother._

_May we meet again. May we meet again._

Octavia’s tears were caught in her throat as she shook her head. Her muffled sobs broke through the hand she placed on her mouth.

“Octavia...” Clarke broke out of her trans and limped to Octavia wrapping her arms around her.

“Clarke, I’m scared.” her voice cracked into Clarke’s shoulder, the woman before her shaking.  
There was a moment of silence before Clarke spoke.

“when I’m scared, I tell myself I’m not afraid.” Clarke confessed and Octavia’s shaking figure froze as she looked up to Clarke.

“That’s what Bell, used to tell me when I was little.” Octavia whispered.

“So let’s say it together then, okay?” Clarke asked Octavia not awaiting an answer.

_I’m scared, O._

_“I’m not afraid”_ Clarke began.  
 _“I’m not afraid”_ Octavia answered.  
 _“I’m not afraid”_ they said in sync as they hugged one another.

_They believed in Bellamy._

Roughly twenty minutes pass and Abby enters the room, clearing her throat.

“He’s going to be okay.” she spoke softly smiling at the girls.

“He’s resting now, go see him quietly.” the girls held hands and walked into the room. Clarke looked to her mother before they entered.

  
“Thank you, mom.”

There Bellamy was propped up on the same bed Clarke was all those weeks ago. He looked comfortable for the most part.  
Tears from both of the girls eyes pored seeing his sleeping figure.

  
“He’s okay...” Octavia’s voice broke.

  
Clarke only nodded glancing at Octavia then back to Bellamy.  
She watched Octavia go over to Bellamy and kiss his forehead.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” she whispered touching a curl of his hair on the side of his face. The gesture made Clarke’s insides warm. The feeling of having a sibling was alien to everyone except the Blake’s. It was something so fairy tale like, it was magic that made your insides swell until you could burst.

There was a while before Octavia turned to Clarke. “Come see him, I’ll leave you two alone.” Clarke nodded hesitantly, she was terrified to see Bellamy in this state. He was always so strong. So brave. So powerful.

Octavia nodded and used her hand to gesture Clarke to come closer. She kissed Clarke’s forehead before leaving.

Clarke stood next to Bellamy’s sleeping form for a while leaning against one of her crutches, her eyes dancing along his IV and his dirt covered body. She slowly lowered herself to sit in the chair next to him and pulled it close to his bed. She leaned and took his hand slowly, kissing his knuckles.

  
Sobs filled her body again, her figure shakes and her palms began to sweat.

“don’t do something so reckless...you ass.” Her forehead pressed to his thigh still holding his hand. _“I can’t do this...without you...so please...don’t go away. - I’ll do anything...just please.”_ her voice was broken and cracked at every word. _“I need you....”_ she whispered softly, her tears staining the blanket.

“Clarke...?” his voice was hoarse

  
Her head shot up to meet his brown eyes, furrowed brow and soft smile.  
“Hey you...” he said as her eyes filled again. Clarke said nothing, she only rose to lean and hug him. She cried there for a while and Bellamy rubbed the back of her head.  
“Clearly gallivanting through forests are the least of my concerns.” she remarked looking up at him smiling.  
“You saved me, Clarke.” she remembers the pistol smiling harder.

“Call it woman's intuition” she remarked. “No call it, Clarke’s intuition - because for some reason, it’s never wrong.” he chuckled smiling at her.  
“I’m really glad...you’re okay.” She confessed softly, touching his cheek. She pressed a light kiss to it.  
“Me too......however I’m going to have to have an eye kept on me. You know, me being such a reckless ass and all.” he remarked smirking at her.  
“You heard all that?!” she shouted tapping his shoulder playfully. He let out a laugh with a mixed groan of pain.  
“Good thing I had all your things moved into my place while you were gone.” she smiled at him.  
“Always one step ahead.” he chuckled.

A loud horn sounded as Bellamy and Clarke glanced over to the window. A smoke filled horizon kissed the tip of the trees.

“Looks like we won, what a shitty rebellion.” he spoke proudly and sarcastically.

_“I am become death, destroyer of worlds.”_ she mumbled. Bellamy looked at her watching her eyes glow from the light outside the window.

She was something so beautiful, so powerful and she sat next to him proudly.   
Hearing her speak those words again just as he did earlier.  
He knew she belonged at his side, right next to them, until the day he died.  
and if there was an afterlife, he hopes to be the ground below her, holding her up, as she blooms into a sunflower.

A muffled groan from across the room startled them both.  
“Can you two stop that, it’s getting on my nerves and I’m trying to sleep.” Roan was across the room in another bed poking his head out from behind a sheet.  
They only laughed and their laughter filled the Ark.

 

_We are on the ground now and that means that we are Grounders!_


	8. Ancient coins and a loss of lavender.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love him.” Clarke spoke quietly as Octavia walked ahead of her. She watched Octavia freeze in place and turn on her heel to look at Clarke with her giant smile and vibrant blue eyes. “I know you do.” she said cheerfully. “He loves you too you know.”

Things in Arkadia seemed to settle. It didn’t happen over night of course. Roan kept his word and things settled. The coalition remained unchanged and it seemed the worst parts were over.  
It took Bellamy a few weeks for him to heal and it left growth to bloom in his relationship with Clarke. They spent so many nights together now that they shared living space. It was growth for both of them having another human being to share decisions with. It reminded Clarke of her past with Bellamy a lot. Once Bellamy started to understand that he couldn’t lead the delinquents alone, he confided in Clarke. They co-lead the hundred together right up until Clarke was taken to Mount Weather. Once she returned they didn’t have full authority any longer. The people of the Ark came down and took over things mostly until Clarke put her foot down. Telling Abby simple words:

“you may be the Chancellor but I’m in charge”...something along those lines. Bellamy had been so proud that day. Now he stood hand in hand with Clarke, the woman he loved, co-leading once again. Meetings at Headquarters were few and far between but when they did take place Bellamy noticed change in Kane. He spoke less, and Clarke and Bellamy spoke more. Bellamy only remembered Kane mentioning a few weeks prior how great Bellamy and Clarke would lead Arkadia.  
Kane wasn’t the only one to change. When Roan and Echo visited Arkadia they were somewhat of a delight to have. Bellamy still couldn’t stand Echo and there had been a few times he had to tell her to “piss off” if you will. The company from Roan however, was a delight. He would crack jokes and make Clarke smile and to Bellamy, that was enough. Roan even taught Clarke some ways of the sword once he healed. Bellamy stood in this moment with Kane watching just that. The two men watched Clarke and Roan duel. Her blonde hair longer now and wavy, with a tiny little dread lock braid by the base of her neck. It reminded him much of her hair style when they took down Alie. She had gotten so much stronger and Bellamy was more than proud. Even Echo was impressed.

Kane spoke quietly to Bellamy.

“You’ve been healed for a little while now and I feel it’s now time to ask you to go on a scouting mission to Ice Nation.” Bellamy turned to Kane with his brow quirked in curiosity.

“Roan and I were discussing it. We just wish to make sure that the men who sided with us in the valley didn’t have ulterior motives.” Kane finished clearing his throat from the minor cold that was circling through Arkadia.

“Sounds fine to me...I’m assuming it will be longer than a day trip though.” It was a question.

“I recon it will be a three day trip. That would give you and your men enough time to truly scout and see any potential danger. Three days to me is enough.” Kane confirmed nodding to Bellamy.

Both men were caught off guard with cheering and laughter. They turned their heads from one another to see Clarke towering over Roan, her sword to his throat and her boot on his chest.

_“Mighty Wanheda”_ Roan said sarcastically as Clarke pressed her foot down on his chest.

“It’s just Clarke now. Let it be known that she took down the King.” She said arrogantly, removing her foot reaching to help lift him up.

Roan answered with his hand. “You would make quite the queen amongst our people.” he glanced over to Bellamy who’s smirk of pride was evident.

He was so proud of the woman Clarke has become.

“Bellamy Kom Skaikru you better get to work or someone else will have to take this woman's hand.” Roan was sarcastic and honest.

Clarke felt her face go flush and heard laughter amongst the crowd watching.

_“Ah yes, our biggest fan.”_ Bellamy deadpanned. Clarke couldn’t help but notice the glimmer of something she couldn’t quite recognize in Bellamy’s intense eyes.

Clarke parted ways with Roan as he went to speak to Kane and Bellamy and Clarke went to speak to Octavia who was howling with pride just across the way.

“Look at you go Clarke!” Octavia shouted slinging an arm around Clarke's now sore shoulders. Clarke responded with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah I guess all this practice is making me stronger.” she confessed with a sudden confidence in her voice.

“Bellamy couldn’t stop watching you, his smile of pride, if only you could’ve seen it.” Octavia spoke happily giving Clarke a tiny poke to her side. Clarke looked over to where Bellamy stood with the men. He smiled at her proudly. As much as his smile was genuine she could tell something wasn’t sitting well with Bellamy. After dinner with the guests from Azgeda and the dismissal of them at the gate, that’s when the conversation took place. Back at home in the late evening.

“You did really well today.” Bellamy spoke as they stood on opposite ends of the bed folding their laundry.

Clarke’s response was a light nod and a little smile that tugged on her cheeks.

“Is everything alright?” his eyes were pinned to her face now as he paused what he was doing still holding a shirt. She continued folding for a minute before she spoke.

“What’s been on your mind, Bell?” she questioned him letting out a light breath of relief after finally asking what she’s been wondering all day. Bellamy resumed folding trying to gather up the correct words to tell her about his mission. She had grown protective over almost everything he did now since he got hurt.

“Kane is sending me and a scouting team to the outskirts of Ice Nation to watch for suspicious movement.” Bellamy spoke quickly, he prepared for her sigh and as soon as he prepared, the sigh escaped her lips. His eyes wandered to her as he watched her form stiffen to his words. She stopped what she was doing, still holding clothing. Her eyes met his.

“You can’t be serious?” she questioned irritably.

“We need to make sure that nothing is being planned, Clarke.” he responded with the same irritable tone.

“We won, we reestablished the coalition, we brought peace, what is there to scope out exactly?” she spat, her words on fire. Bellamy’s blood boiled. Was she honestly asking this question after all that happened?

“Yes Clarke, we need to take this seriously even if order is established. We can never be too careful.” His words were firm and came off in a mighty tone.

“I don’t see the point, it’s a waste of time.” she spat rolling her eyes, making her way to her dresser putting her clothes back. He sighed placing his hands on his hips.

“What do you want me to say Clarke? you want me to tell him no I’m not going? I can’t just sit around and play house with you all day.” he was full blown frustrated at this point. He couldn’t bring himself to understand why she couldn’t understand the reasoning behind the needed departure. After all she was remembering about her past he figured by now she could understand how dangerous life was here on Earth.

Her back was turned to him and he saw her stop what she was doing. She turned on her heel to face him with a challenging stare.

“Excuse me if I don’t want you coming “home” to me, bleeding all over the damn floor.” she was shouting now. Clarke understood the need to be careful but this “scouting trip” to her, should have happened weeks ago.

“Clarke you’re being ridiculous.” he protested using his hands to gesture his irritation to the subject.

“There is nothing ridiculous about how I feel,” she paused for a moment. Her arms were crossed and she leaned irritably.

“sorry if I’m such a God damn burden to you Bellamy Blake.” she spat her words like a venom he wished to never feel. The way her name rolled of his tongue so nonchalantly frustrated him further. Bellamy was now furious.

“Don’t put words in my mouth. No, wait, if the shoe fits Clarke, I don’t wish to sit around and babysit you.” Bellamy shocked himself with the words that came from his mouth. He was furious but conscious enough to realize that the words he spoke were aggressive and unnecessary. He watched her mouth part to quiver and her eyes began to water, tears poring down her flustered, flush stained cheeks. Bellamy’s body tensed and his eyes widened as the realization of what he just said surfaced with Clarke. He is standing here in their home and for the first time since he argued with Clarke all those months ago, he made Clarke cry.

_“Clarke...”_ his voice broke as he walked toward her almost stumbling. Her body language answered as she backed away from him headed toward the door shaking her head in disbelief. “Clarke!” Bellamy was quick as he tugged on her wrist. She ripped from his hold. “Get out of my life. You promised me, you told me, that you would take care of me.” she paused for a moment to gather her words

“Now after all is said and done I find out from your mouth alone that this was just some sick twisted babysitting job that my mother probably roped you into. I’m done with you, Bellamy Blake.” her words were so empty, so broken. He watched the light in her eyes fade to the sound of her own voice.  
What has he done?

  
_“Clarke please, I didn’t mean it, let me explain please.”_ he pleaded trying to touch her shoulder gently.

“I don’t...want to hear it.” she mumbled softly, putting her hand over top his pushing it off her shoulder. Her deep, cold, saddened blue eyes looked to his own “Maybe..I should have remembered somebody else.” her voice was cold and Bellamy’s eyes widened to her words.

_I was so angry at you for leaving._

_I don’t want to feel that way anymore._

Clarke slipped away from Bellamy’s hold leaving him in the emptiness of their home.

Bellamy spent the entire night alone laying in their bed. His memories of Clarke danced throughout his mind. His inner turmoil real and evident. In the moments of Clarke leaving Bellamy left several holes in the walls in his frustration with himself. All Bellamy could think about is how he just lost Clarke. She was done with him and he did it to himself because he doesn’t think before he speaks. He lets his frustration and his anger take hold of him and he hurts the people he loves. He’s always so quick to act and he never thinks. It’s one of the many qualities he hated about himself.  
He just made Clarke cry again. This time no outside influences came to play. His words broke her heart. He did this to himself.  
He knows that Clarke was just scared that he would come home hurt again.

I _t's not a kill order. It's a bounty. Clarke's a symbol._

_She's known as Wanheda -- the Commander of Death._   
_The Ice Nation guys we killed asked about Wanheda._   
_They're looking for Clarke. Why?_   
_My people believe that when you kill someone, you get their power._   
_Kill Wanheda, and you command death._

She said she was done and that frightened him. He figured for a moment as he smothered his face in her pillow, that she could just be saying that. He was frustrated and he took it out on her saying things he wish she knew that he didn’t mean.  
Bellamy had to leave tomorrow for a few days and he knows he wont be able to say goodbye.

I’m done with you, Bellamy Blake.

Clarke was destroyed. Arguably more so than Bellamy at this current moment. He was all she knew and he was the only one she felt like she could trust and now he was saying things she didn’t even recognize. She saw the color drain from his face one he had realized what he said but in that moment it was too late. The damage was already done.

The wind echoed through the Ark. It had been one of the windiest days of the year and it carried on into the night. The Ark creaked and rattled as Clarke walked down the hall from her and Bellamy’s place. She wasn’t sure where to go at this point. She narrowed down her options by listing off the cons of each person she could go to: Raven would be a good listener but she wasn’t sure if Raven would tolerate what Bellamy did. She would more than likely storm the place and yell. All of the guys would be an automatic no and she had expected them to be with Bellamy anyway. Harper she didn’t know too well compared to Raven and Octavia and she was certain that she saw her and Monty together once dinner ended. They were discussing moving in together through dinner. That left her mother Abby, and Octavia. Clarke and her mother were on okay terms for the most part but she figured between the two, Octavia was the safest bet. She remembered shortly after Bellamy was released from Med-Bay, Octavia told Clarke the number of her living space. She knocked on #3, which wasn’t too far from Clarke and Bellamy’s which happened to be #7. She figured being with Octavia would give her enough space away from Bellamy and she also thought that Bellamy wouldn’t head in this direction. He wouldn’t want to talk to his sister about what happened. She would only make him march back and apologize.

She knocked lightly and a little groan came from behind the door. If Clarke wasn’t so torn she would laugh. The Blake siblings were too similar sometimes.

“O, Clarke hey, is everything alright?” Octavia asked the moment she opened the door, she was wearing a blanket around her shoulders.

“Oh, honey, what happened?” Clarke sighed at Octavia’s words. She assumed her cheeks were rosy red and her eyes were puffy as they normally would be after crying. Octavia wasted no time to drag Clarke inside.

  
“What happened, Clarke?” Octavia asked sitting her down on her couch.

Octavia took the blanket off her shoulders and put it around Clarke who happened to be shaking from the adrenaline and crying. Clarke hadn’t noticed that she got to this point. She was too distracted thinking about what Bellamy had said to her.

Octavia got up for a moment and brought back two mugs about five minutes later, filled with some kind of herbal grounder tea. It smelt like raspberries. Clarke assumed that the man Octavia told her about, Lincoln his name was, taught her how to make it.

Clarke sighed heavily. “Bellamy and I...fought...” her voice was soft and breaking at every word.  
Octavia listened intently.

“Kane is sending him to Ice Nation to scout just in case...and I protested. I thought it was foolish.” she sighed. “I just didn’t feel like he was the one who should be doing it and I guess between my protesting and irritation it made him angry. We both said awful things to each other, snapping at one another back and fourth and then he told me he didn’t want to babysit me anymore. I know he didn’t mean it but it hurt. I told him that I was done...he tried to stop me...but here I am now.” her tears shook her violently. “I told him I should have remembered someone else..” she sobbed “I didn’t mean it.”

  
Octavia wrapped her arms around Clarke and her body caved in. Her tears flowed like rivers. “my brother is a piece of work sometimes.” Octavia mumbled leaning back onto the right side of the couch, gesturing Clarke to lay on her. Octavia began to play with her hair and rub her back, just desperately trying to calm Clarke down. “I don’t know what to do.” Clarke mumbled into Octavia’s shirt. “We’ll figure something out, okay? just get some sleep Clarke.” Octavia finished still playing with Clarke’s hair.  
_  
We’ll figure something out._

_Can we figure it out later._

_Whenever you’re ready._  
  
Bellamy counted maybe thirty minutes of sleep he got all night. The bed was cold and empty and it smelt less like lavender and more like left over pent up aggression. He was furious with himself for what he had done. He hadn’t even mustered up the courage to even tell Clarke how he felt.

Tell her that he loves her.   
That she’s his entire world.  
That he would do anything to protect her.  
That she wasn’t a god damn burden.  
That he would very well kiss the ground she walked under.

He’s been trying for the last few weeks but every time he does he falls short on words and trips over himself. He just came to one simple conclusion: that he was an idiot.  
Never in his life has he ever felt this way before. To him he felt like he was a fool who fell madly in love with a woman and now that he knows how he truly feels he can’t speak. He chokes on his words.

  
_Figures._

  
When Bellamy made his way to the supply room, Miller and Monty were already there waiting and to his surprise Jasper too.

“Morning, Blake.” Miller made a point to sound cheeky but his words fell short when Bellamy’s face was blank in response.

“Everything alright, man?” Monty asked curiously putting his hand on Bellamy’s shoulder. He only nodded in response moving past the men to where his gun was. Bellamy had his jacket on and he could smell the lavender and it made him make some sort of irritable noise as he put his holster on.

“Bellamy seriously you look pale.” Monty persisted and Bellamy answered turning towards them. “Are we done? we need to leave. If you’re finished meet me at the rover.” Bellamy smoothed his way passed the men.

  
“Trouble in paradise.” Jasper mumbled as they followed him out.

Bellamy was already talking with Kane as the three of them followed him out.

“Alright so you will be scouting for about three days, keep hidden, stay sharp and most importantly come home.” Kane spoke sincerely. The men nodded and filed into the back, Bellamy turned to walk to the drivers seat of the rover.

“Where’s Clarke?” Kane asked in a curious tone staring at Bellamy’s back. He watched Bellamy’s body tense. He hadn’t heard her name out loud since he spoke it that night prior and hearing it didn’t make any of this easier. He only shook his head in response and hopped into the rover. The two men in the back and Monty in the passenger seat only nodded in realization. Jasper played music off Maya’s old ipod and they set out.Bellamy didn’t speak so much as a word the entire way, he only played with a hair tie between his fingers. It was the hair tie that was holding Clarke’s hair back from the first time he braided it for her.

Clarke woke with Octavia relatively early. Octavia let her shower there and brushed Clarke’s hair. It made her cry because it reminded her of Bellamy. It took a while before Clarke could calm down and leave the room with Octavia. She didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to herself so she put on a fake smile and squashed the feelings she had aside.  
Octavia decided to take Clarke to the drop ship for the day. She needed some space and the quiet of the forest, the wind beneath the tree’s, would be just the therapy she needed.

_You say having feelings makes me weak, but you're weak for hiding from them._

__

_“I love him.”_ Clarke spoke quietly as Octavia walked ahead of her.

She watched Octavia freeze in place and turn on her heel to look at Clarke with her giant smile and vibrant blue eyes.

“I know you do.” she said cheerfully.

“He loves you too you know.” she said bashfully.

“You think?” Clarke’s voice lightened.

“How many times do Raven and I have to tell you that he would do anything for you, when will it get through your thick noggin.” Octavia poked Clarke’s forehead playfully allowing giggles to echo the forest. They walked holding hands and sat leaning on the drop ship much as her and Bellamy did from what feels so long ago.

  
They sat in silence for some time. Just enjoying the beams of light that sparkled from the tops of the trees.

“Why don’t you tell him then?” Octavia finally spoke as she ate some bread, handing a piece to Clarke.

“I’ve been trying I just freeze every time I do.” Clarke confessed. “He hasn’t said it either.”

Octavia interrupted. “He’s probably having the same issue. He’s not very good at expressing his feelings unless it’s something that makes him angry. He also probably doesn’t want to push anything on you.” she teased playfully.

Clarke groaned in response. “You’re not wrong on that one.”

  
“I was lucky you know, with Lincoln.” Octavia spoke a little quieter now. It shocked Clarke that Octavia was openly talking about him. She had mentioned one or two things but kept closed off to the subject any time it rose.

“He was very forward with how he felt about me. He should have gave my brother lessons...” she mumbled, little tears formed in her ducts.

_“Oh, Octavia...”_ Clarke whispered bringing her into a hug. It had been a while since Octavia cried and truthfully she needed it. The girls cried together for a short while.

“You know I think if you and Bellamy had a talk it might make things a bit easier for you Octavia.” Bellamy did mention what had happened to Lincoln one night so she wasn’t completely out of loop any longer with the Blake feud.

“He blames himself for it.” Clarke confessed.

“I know.” Octavia mumbled and sighed leaning into Clarke. “Tell you what, if you tell him you love him, I’ll do my best to try and talk to Bell about our situation.” Octavia offered this scenario as if Clarke had any other way around it. “That’s some tasteful Blackmail.” Clarke giggled with Octavia. They had become like sisters and Clarke loved every second of it. No matter what happened with Bellamy, she knows she has Octavia.

* * *

 

Bellamy and the scout team made it to the coordinates they were ordered to stay at. “So this is going to be our next few days?” Miller shivered a bit.

“Looks like.” Monty replied, grabbing firewood.

“We’re far enough away that our fire wont be noticeable.” Monty was stacking wood now. Bellamy only sat on the edge of the cliff, leaning on his palms. Miller and Monty looked at one another before Miller gestured with his head for Monty to go join Bellamy. In silent communication they figured one of them had to get to the bottom of this unusual-salty-Bellamy.

Monty groaned bending down to sit next to Bellamy but he remained unmoved. His eyes dancing across the horizon.

“You going to tell me what’s going on with you yet? or are you going to sulk for three days.” Monty spoke with a voice that was both caring and firm.

“I don’t like seeing you like this.” he confessed. Bellamy turned his head slightly to look at the man next to him.

“nothing.” he replied coolly.

“You’re a lot of things Bellamy, but you’re a horrible liar.” Jasper snorted and Bellamy’s head shot back at him. Jasper mouthed a “sorry” at both men before Monty continued

“we just care Bellamy.”

Bellamy only sighed. “I know that.”

“So what’s going on then?” Monty pressed.

“Clarke’s done with me because I’m an idiot.” all three men were silent now.

“There, you happy?” Bellamy let out a frustrated sigh and rose to his feet walking away. The three men exchanged glances, worried ones. They were fine at dinner and suddenly, out of what felt like no where, they were fighting? It didn’t make much sense to either of them but Monty decided to follow Bellamy regardless. Miller and Jasper only tended to the fire and set up tents.

“Bellamy wait” Monty lightly jogged meeting with the man, trying to keep up the pace.

“Can we stop interrogating me?” Bellamy spat pulling himself to a stop.

“Look, why don’t you tell us what happened and we can see if we can help?” Monty suggested, a concerned look on his face.

“There’s nothing you can help me with, I’m an idiot, she’s done with me, what could I possibly do?” Bellamy’s question came off in a frail broken tone. “We will figure it out, come back and talk to us okay?” Monty took Bellamy by the arm and pulled him back to the fire that Jasper had well lit. They sat on old logs around the fire keeping an eye on the land below but still in depth to their conversation.

“So what happened exactly?” Jasper was the first to question after they settled down for the night, cooking their meals.

“Clarke thought this scouting trip wasn’t necessary. We fought over it. She’s just worried about me and...I snapped at her.” Bellamy sighed shaking his head a little at himself.

“Why don’t you just apologize?” Miller suggested leaning on the log he sat against.

“She said she was done.” Bellamy replied cooly trying to maintain his composure.

“I honestly don’t think she meant it though.” Jasper added with a small smile. “I mean think about it. It’s Clarke. She get’s all dramatic, you’ve seen it yourself.” he continued casually when Bellamy’s brow peeked upward.

“Tell me, I mean I shouldn’t ask because I already know the answer but, do you love her?” Bellamy paused for a moment but only because he wasn’t sure he wanted to share this information with his friends...not yet. _ _  
__ He sighed heavily before he responded.

“Yes, I do.”

“Okay then so why haven’t you told her?” Jasper questioned with a challenging stare.

“It’s complicated.”

“No it’s really not” Jasper continued to test his luck. “Look, if you don’t hurry up and tell her you will actually lose her.” Jasper's voice was now firm and respectful.

He knew that Bellamy was in a rough state at this point and he knew that there was still potential to over step. These were just things that Jasper felt that Bellamy needed to hear.

“You’re right I know...I just don’t know what to do. I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to do. I’ve never seen her like this and it’s my fault that she is, like this.” Bellamy paused sighing once more.

_“Apologize you ass.”_ Miller piped in. If this was any other situation Bellamy would have deadpanned. Instead: he smiled. Things were going to be alright. He would win her back, he had to.

__B__ ack in Arkadia Murphy and Clarke spent some time together educating the children on the dangers of firearms and the reasons and why they are used. Between Clarke and Murphy, they made a great team.

“So that’s why Mr.Blake carries around his gun right? to keep everyone safe?” a boy asked who sat just to the left of Clarke. She felt a small tug inside her at the mention of Bellamy. The children, the people of Arkadia, looked up to Bellamy. Murphy noticed Clarke tense at the mention of Bellamy before she spoke cheerfully to the children. “Yes that’s right!” she gestured her hands excitedly.

“The people who protect us, the people who help with the food, everyone is someone we can be thankful for. Each and every one of you should be thankful for one another and everyone in Arkadia.” Clarke said in an encouraging tone, Murphy smiled and added:

“Don't forget your manners either, you must show thanks by saying thank you. It’s polite and respectful.” he added.

“Thank you, Mr. Murphy.” a little girl added giggling.

“Yes and thank you, Miss Griffin!” another added as the children thanked in uni cent.

“You’re welcome, all of you. Now for your homework I would like you all to assist your caregivers or anyone around the Ark. I want you to write down what you did to help and how you felt after helping them. I also want to know what you think you can do to help make Arkadia better. Tell me ideas you have and I will be sure to let Mr.Kane and Mr.Blake know of the best ones and who knows, maybe your ideas will be helpful to them. You’re dismissed children, be good to one another.” Clarke finished with a smile rising from her seat.

The children filed out and Murphy was left to sit with Clarke, reading over papers from the children's past homework that covered safety around machinery. “What’s been on your mind Clarke?” Murphy asked still looking at his paper.

“I’m not dumb I can sense the unease and weariness in your voice.” she paused and looked from her paper to the man across from her.

“You know you can tell me Clarke, I’m not going to judge you. Is it just you missing Bellamy or what?” he questioned in an interrogating way.

“No...it’s just..I don’t know.” she mumbled her eyes peeling from his face back to the paper, adding a check mark to the paper. Murphy chuckled a little catching Clarke’s attention.

“What?” she questioned. “Nothing.” he paused, Clarke still staring at him.

“Stop staring, you and Bellamy both do similar things to a point where it freaks me out okay.” he confessed laughing. “Look, Clarke, I’m here for you okay. I can tell when somethings bothering you because you and Bellamy both make the same pout when something is bothering you both. So, I’m here if you want to talk.” Clarke was taken back by his voice of honesty. She hadn’t been close with John but he was very genuine to her when he was. He came off as someone she would wish to avoid but she had to admit, he grew on her. The dynamic between them both changed. She noticed he was very observant and caring to the people in his life. A small feeling inside her made her stop to think that yes, she could trust John Murphy. She sighed before she spoke.

“Bellamy and I had a fight, I’m not going to go into context...but it wasn’t good.” she confessed lightly, her finger pressing on the pen to the paper before her.

__“__ No fight between two people is good. Heck, my fights with Emori are frightening. However, you make it through with the person you love.” he paused to scan Clarke’s face. “I can tell you love him and he loves you. Both you and Bellamy grew apart at points in our lives on earth and not once did you both not make it back to one another. Hell when you were saving us from Alie, both him and I were on our way up to save both you and Emori. We both had the same goal in mind: Protect the ones you care about. His person who stood at the top of the tower that he cared about...was you.” He paused again letting out a little smile. “Ever since about maybe a day or two after we landed, Bellamy’s kind of always followed you around. He confided in you and now he follows along behind you, protecting you, no matter what. He’s been doing that since I can remember. That’s why I can relate to Bellamy. That’s why I think him and I have an interesting friendship. I pester him one second then he hates me and wants to kick my ass, then a second later we have each others backs.” he exhaled heavily before he finished. “Look, Clarke, go easy on the guy. He’s never stopped doing all he can to protect you. The man would stand in the way of an entire army so long as you were protected and correct me if I’m wrong but that’s what he did when he got hurt.” Clarke's heart pounded in pain at his words. “Don’t feel guilty for it but feel appreciation for the man. He doesn’t know how to express how he feels, either do I. That’s why I know that he loves you. He would do anything for you...Clarke.” He rose from his chair and walked towards Clarke, taking her hand lifting her up into a hug. “Chin up, princess was it?” she laughed into his shoulder, little tears of happiness kissed her cheeks.

“Thank you, John.” she said lightly as she pulled away from his hug. His eyes widened a little.

“What is it?” she questioned, he laughed a little.

“Nothing, it’s just weird hearing you not yell at me or tell me to bugger off.” They laughed together not catching Raven leaning on the door frame with Emori.

“See, I told you Murphy’s not all that bad.” Emori laughed with a little snort.

“Yeah I guess Murphy is less of an asshole than I thought.” Raven confessed with a smirk. Murphy rolled his eyes in response. “I guess I have a little appreciation to show to the woman who’s been saving our asses since the moment we landed.”  
She remembers Bellamy’s words to her the day he took her to the drop ship.

You’re a leader, you’re smart and you’re breathtaking when you take charge of a situation, it’s beautiful actually.

“Murphy if you’re done finishing those papers, Emori and I need some help on the second rover. I’m teaching her and I know you know quite a bit.” Raven said leaning comfortably with Emori, who was smiling genuinely.

“Duty calls.” he said cheekily, giving Clarke a little pat on the head. The three of them left Clarke in their little acquaint classroom. Murphy was right. She needed to forgive Bellamy. She was ever so grateful for her friends.

Clarke spent the remainder of the next two days helping Abby. The two women sat together eating lunch. They haven’t really fixed anything since Clarke erupted and she figured it was time to talk to her mother and actually develop a relationship. She wanted to know what the comfort of a mother felt like and she was starting to remember simply by the warmth in Abby’s eyes.

“Mom, what was dad like?” Abby was taken aback by this question. Firstly: Clarke hadn’t spoken any other name other than Abby towards her. Second: Clarke was opening up to her, something she’s been trying to do since this all happened. Abby’s smile widened.

“He was brave like you.” Clarke responded with a giant smile.

“Thank you for looking out for me. I’m sorry that I was irrational. I understand why you were so protective over me. I love you, mom.” Clarke confessed reaching from across the table to hold her mothers hand.

“I love you too my dear.” Abby responded to her smile with one of her own. The two women were happy and things were looking up in the Griffin family.

  
Bellamy and the scouting crew spent the remainder of the few days doing much of the same. Scouting the perimeter, tending to the fire, talking and cracking jokes. Bellamy had wandered along the cliff side, his head in the clouds. He thought about Clarke every second since he left. What he would do, how she would react, how he would get her back. They have come back from worse than this, he reminded himself. His eyes wandered the snow covered floor now, points of grass poking out here and there. A small glimmer of gold caught his eye tucked beneath a small part of snow. He knelt down to get a closer look. It was a coin of some sort that had the number two on it. He assumed it belonged to the ancient humans who once roamed the earth. He remembers reading that coins were a form of currency in exchange for goods. He picked it up brushing the snow off it to admire the tiny details etched into it. It was so small and simple but had so much little detail into it. It reminded him of Clarke. She was always so simplistic but on the inside she was a maze. One he wished to get lost in forever. She was simple and straight forward but her mind held secrets and her heart held a love that was greater than love. He loved her complexity and it made him want to dive in head first into her intricate, beautiful soul.

He decided he would bring it back to her as a gift. It was simple but they were short of gift shops down here on earth.  
Bellamy made his way back to Miller, Monty and Jasper shortly after he found it. It had been a long enough time of no movement, he was wasting time at this point. There was no reason for them to fear. Arkadia could actually go back to being peaceful and the thought made happiness rush through him. He couldn’t wait to share the good news.

Kane finished up his plans for the new blacksmith hut he planned to get built in the next few weeks. He made his way home back to Abby. To his surprise when he opened the door, there sat Clarke braiding Abby’s hair.

“Ah, sorry to interrupt the ladies slumber party.” he chuckled removing his shoes at the door.

“Clarke was just showing me what Bellamy taught her about braiding.” Abby pipped in as Clarke continued to braid.

“That boy knows just about everything, doesn’t he.” Kane asked knowing the answer. Clarke only smiled.

“There, a perfect fishtail braid!” Clarke announced cheerfully. Abby took her hand to the back of her head to feel it.

“It’s wonderful Clarke, thank you.” she roped Clarke into a hug. A buzzing noise came from the radio on Kane’s hip.

“Kane, this is Bellamy, over.” Bellamy’s voice echoed off the radio. Clarke felt her body go stiff to the melody of his voice. Though it was music to her ears the static was loud and he sounded less than amused. Kane looked at both the girls before reaching to grab his off his holster to answer.

“Hi, yes this is Kane, is something the matter?” he questioned listening to the static.

“Everything in Ice nation is dead and cold, there is no movement, the nation is settled and calm. We are leaving our set camp station now.” Bellamy replied coldly, his voice roused with some form of irritation. Clarke guessed it was because he was cold and he realized how much of a waste of time his absence was.

“Good to hear. See you when you get home. Stay safe.” Kane finished pressing the red button on the side to finish the page.

  
“I take it he’s miserable from the cold.” Kane said to Clarke as more of a question. Clarke only laughed.

  
_“Bellamy hates a few things: Cob webs, the cold, and sometimes Murphy.”_


	9. Rose petals, Rhythm, and Mnemosyne.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were desperately searching for responses in their facial features. Bellamy fell silent to the thought of losing her.  
> Clarke gathered the courage. The one she needed. She remembered Octavia’s words. She remembered Murphy’s too. The time was now, she couldn’t put this off any longer. He needed to know that she loved him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where I rate this M.  
> It's a relaxed and fluffy/smutty chapter, hope you enjoy.  
> Keep up with my shenanigans here: 
> 
> http://myindepthmind.tumblr.com/
> 
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Clarke spent a bit more of her day chatting with Abby and Kane before she headed home for the night. When she did head home she took off her boots and headed directly to the bathroom to have a shower. Harper had come by in the last few days and gave Clarke some new soaps to try and she was eager to try them out. This one was pink and white and smelt like roses and it even had rose petals in it. Clarke spent a while in the shower. Letting the warm water seep into her pores, the soap suds to linger on her body, and her mind to wander as it usually did, finding itself thinking about none other than Bellamy Blake. He was to be home soon and she didn’t want to think about what could happen. She was anxious and if she wasn’t so stubborn she would consider it a level of anxiety that could warrant tears. She was far too strong for that now...but she felt so guilty, she felt like a burden. She was trained in the ways of the sword, she knew weapons and medicine, she knew how to teach the children...however, she didn’t know how to fix what felt like a broken heart.  
She finished up her shower and decided that Bellamy’s white tee shirt was what she wanted to wear to bed. She found herself drowning in his clothes but she loved it none the less. She slipped on a little pair of thong like, light grey boy shorts and a pair of shorts that were a shade of similar grey on and she headed out into the living room, deciding it was time to draw. She had been hesitant to since they fought but she decided enough was enough. Before she began drawing she braided her hair and left parts of it a bit messy. It was just enough to hold her hair back from her sketch pad.  
She began to draw and she decided she wanted to draw Bellamy.

Bellamy, Monty, Miller and Jasper finally made it home in the late evening. Arkadia’s gates opened and the rover pulled in and as expected Kane was there waiting for their arrival. Bellamy hopped out of the rover and headed over to Kane with the team.

“I take it that it went well?” Kane questioned holding his clip board.

“Arkadia is safe, Kane. I can assure you.” Bellamy said sarcastically. Kane sighed in reply.

“I know you didn’t want to do this and I know you think that it was unnecessary but it was.” Bellamy chuckled “I wasn’t trying to sound irritated, I know what it was for, I’m just glad to be away from all the cold.” Bellamy responded looking over to Miller who was still freezing.

“Okay gentlemen, you get a few days off. Jasper, you and Murphy will be working on a new assignment. We are building a blacksmith hut and I would like you men to learn it. We need some blacksmith around here and I know that we have none. One of the men from Azgeda offered to teach you.” Kane said smoothly to the men, mostly looking at Jasper.

“I get to play with fire and sharp objects, sign me up.” Jasper said playfully.

“Dismissed.” Kane waved his hand. Bellamy walked off toward weapons bay to drop off his equipment and gun.

Monty followed along behind him. “You going to talk to Clarke?” Monty questioned catching up to him to walk along side.

“Yeah, I am.” Bellamy said quietly, nodding in response. Both men removed their gear and quickly headed home for the night.

Bellamy was more than nervous. He held both the hair tie and the coin in his hand twiddling them between his fingers. He had no where else to go. His home was with Clarke. Kane never said anything about her moving his things out, so he assumed nothing had changed in that department of problems. He sighed to himself and tucked the coin and hair tie in his pocket and made his way to their home.

He stopped in front of the door and hesitated for a few moments. He could see the light shining from the bottom so he figured she had been finished for the night. What would he say? what could he do? a million questions clouded his judgement leaving him to hesitate at the door.

_“Bellamy?”_ a soft voice called from behind the door. His head shot up and his eyes widened. It was Clarke. He guessed he was noisy enough for her to hear, or she had the ability to sense his presence. Either sounded possible at this point.

  
Bellamy sighed and turned the door knob and opened it to find Clarke sitting on the couch sketching, her knee’s up with the sketch pad propped up onto it, her hair in a messy braid and some cozy shorts and of course, his shirt. His eyes were still wide as he shook his head a little to get himself to grip the situation.

_“Hey..”_ he said softly, closing the door behind him. He took his boots off and walked a few steps toward her.

“Hey, Bell.” she replied. Looking from him, back to her sketchbook, and back to him again. He noticed immediately and leaned over to see what she was sketching. To his surprise, it was him.

“This is really nice, Clarke.” he said softly admiring all of the perfect shading and details etched into his face. It looked so real, so lifelike.

“I knew you would find that art groove again.” he replied again remaining soft to his voice. Clarke only nodded and continued to shade.

  
He paused for a while standing next to her, just watching her at work. It was incredible, what she could do with just some simple art supplies. He never really got to experience her art work until now and he wondered for a while what he was missing. This is exactly it. Another stone, turned over, just like the coin, intricate and divine. There was always something new to learn about Clarke and she kept him guessing.

“You should shower, you’ve been gone a while.” she mumbled not looking to him. He only nodded and left to do just that.

  
He knew talking about this to her was not going to be easy.

Bellamy made his way to the bathroom. The left over condensation that clung to the mirror in the bathroom showed that she too showered not too long before hand. He could smell a new aroma he wasn’t used to. Bellamy turned the shower on and made haste to clean all of the dirt and grime that clung to his body. It was only a scouting mission but he never failed to bring half the forest with him. Be it leaves and dirt in his hair or mud stuck to his skin. He would admit that sometimes he liked it. It felt different from being so clean. He occasionally enjoyed the mess. In fact he quite enjoyed messy.

Bellamy found the source of the new smell that roused his senses. Harper had been making all kinds of soap and he assumed this was just one of her many concoctions. This one had such a heavenly scent to it and the thought of it mixing with Clarke’s body sent a jolt down Bellamy’s body. He just hoped that she would be able to at least forgive him first. Bellamy shook his head hoping to rid himself of the thoughts he had of Clarke. He needed to focus on getting her forgiveness first. All the other stuff, if he’s lucky, comes later. He thought that maybe, she would love him again.

Bellamy made his way into the bedroom changing into a fresh pair of boxer briefs. He slipped a pair of grey track pants on and decided that a shirt was a big nope. Not after wearing his jacket for three days in a row. He wanted to rid himself from the layers. Clarke now stood in the door way, her arms crossed a little slouched, as if she was nervous.

“You should go...I mean if you want to...you can go...I understand if you want to leave...” she mumbled, her words trailing off quietly as her eyes met the floor.

Bellamy took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. “No, I’m not going anywhere.”

“I’m burdening you, you said it yourself. I understand okay?” Bellamy interrupted Clarke.

“No, you’re not burdening me, I was upset okay? Look, I’m sorry. They look up to me, I need to lead them when I’m told to. It was a waste of time, you were right about that.” He confessed looking to Clarke, trying to find a sign in her face that was hidden, her eyes did not meet his. “I just lose my head a little...at the thought of losing you.” her eyes now looked to his, glossy and the deepest of blues.

  
“When I thought I lost you, when you got hurt. I didn’t know what to think. So I can understand why you didn’t want me to go. We both know how that feels now and it’s the scariest thing I have ever felt. To see you hurt...destroyed me.” he sighed and shuttered at the thought of it. His eyes danced along her face, hers did the same. They were desperately searching for responses in their facial features. Bellamy fell silent to the thought of losing her.

  
Clarke gathered the courage. The one she needed. She remembered Octavia’s words. She remembered Murphy’s too. The time was now, she couldn’t put this off any longer. He needed to know that she loved him.

“I need you in my life” she started to speak, ever so softly. “I don’t just need you to help me remember what’s left to remember...” she paused and her breath hitched, his eyes met hers awaiting her words then they wandered to the floor. “It all started when I landed here on earth. This place proved to be terrifying and I was amongst criminals. I had a best friend who drove me a little batty and a space kid trying everything he could to impress me.” she laughed a little complimented with happy tears and a little light smile. Her arms still crossed. “I was scared of this planet because I thought that it brought nothing but death. But then...I met this boy. He was tough and arrogant, nobody stood to him except me. He hated when people rose to the challenge him but he also found admiration in it. I remember the determined look in his eyes...when I stood against him. His words were _“brave princess.”_

Bellamy’s eyes met hers in shock and realization that she was referring to him.

“It took me a while to get used to him. He was nothing more than an ass. We played at one another with tiny remarks...then...we were forced to work together. I saw his vulnerabilities, his insecurities, his dedication. He grew a strength I could only dream of having...until he helped me find it in myself. He taught me that I had to be strong and pull through no matter what. We went from enemies to friends to someone I cannot live without. I watched him grow and he changed my life. I watched him make sacrifices, I watched him put people before himself. Throughout all of this...I knew that I would love him. I knew that all of this would make me fall in love. Bellamy’s head shot up, his eyes widened in shock. “I fell in love with his demons because they danced well with mine.” she smiled softly.

_“I’m in love with you, Bellamy Blake.”_ a little breath of relief came shortly after she finished speaking and Bellamy remained unmoved and stiff, his eyes stayed glued on her and he closed them lightly looking almost as if he was wincing but then he opened them and tiny tears kissed his cheeks.

_“Clarke...”_ he mumbled brokenly taking a step forward.

“Bellamy I can’t live without you. You’re more than just the only person I remembered. I thought about it and there’s got to be a reason why I woke from this injury and only remembered you.” she paused for a moment and took a deep breath, Bellamy stopped walking.

“It was because the Clarke I was loved you enough to know that you would save her, that you would be by her side no matter what. The Clarke I am still thinks that of you.” she smiled a little “The Clarke I was fell in love with you so long ago...I just got to relive it and it has been...the most delightful thing. I don’t ever want to stop. I don’t ever want to have to wake in the morning knowing you’re not by my side. So please, stay with me, stay with me until I can no longer breathe. Live for me and stop punishing yourself for our sins. We will do this...together.” she finished and Bellamy stepped closer, he was still in tears.

His breath hitched before he spoke. “I came to earth to protect Octavia. I had planned to leave with her, we would live to never face my crimes. We would flee and yet...you made me stay. You told me...you needed me. Ever since you told me that...I have never wanted to be anywhere else other than by your side. The woman I saw who yelled at me to not open the drop ship door...turned out to be the woman that I fell in love with and my god I don’t know when it happened but it was so quick. I just knew that when I looked over at you I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to live only for Octavia. I wanted to live for you...to protect you too.”

  
“I loved the Clarke you were and my god I still love the Clarke you are now. I never stopped...I could never stop. I was worried that when you started to remember your past that maybe you wouldn’t love me but now that you tell me you always did...everything you used to do makes sense now. - All I have ever done is look to you, to guide me, you keep me centered. All I know is I was willing to be here for you...willing to love you, regardless of if the love was returned. I got lost in your eyes and I haven’t come back since and something tells me...I’ll never return from this state and I will never want to. _I’m in love with you, Clarke Griffin.”_ His confession was finished as he closed the space between them. Tears kissed his freckled cheeks and the flushness of her own.

_“Together, always right?”_ she asked as he cupped her face, his forehead pressed to hers.

_“Together...always...”_ he mumbled as his lips pressed gently to hers. They were light and slow, growing deep every second. Heavy and full of passion. His tongue danced with hers, she would nibble on his bottom lip prompting a light groan to escape from him. He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him, still heavy into their kiss. His hand trailed up the back of her shirt and she answered by lifting it over her head. Her lips crashed into his and he pressed her into the door, his hands held her by her waist and their kisses grew heated with every passing second. His lips wandered off from her lips that were now a burning red. He peppered kissed down her cheek to her jaw and lightly sucked on the base of the right side of her neck. His tongue darted between leaving Clarke to moan and put her hand on the back of his head tousling his Onyx curls. He moved them from the door walking slowly to the bed he held her up with one of his hand and pulled on the back of her head untangling her lose braid. It left chills down Clarke’s spine, the feeling of Bellamy’s light tugging on her hair. Clarke trailed her hands to his chest and up to his neck the deepening these exchanges of kisses, so heated and full of lust. He gently lowered her to the bed.

His hands explored her waist and the fullness of her breasts. Lightly brushing his rough fingertips over her nipples. Little moans escaped her lips prompting a small chuckle from Bellamy as he felt her squirm a little beneath him. He hovered his body over hers, one knee between her legs, his hands holding him up. He released the kiss to hover above her, his eyes wandering her perfect curves and the flushness of her blushing skin. “God, Clarke you’re perfect...” he mumbled with a charming smile. His eyes so dark she could get lost in them. Before she could his lips were crashing back down on her own, his body now pressed between her legs. She wrapped her legs around his body and his lower abdomen pressed into her center leaving more tiny moans to escape her. His lips wandered her body leaving kisses in her clavicle, above her breasts, on them, his tongue playing with her nipple and her body arching off the bed as his fingers played with the other. His mouth wandering to the valley between them kissing down to her belly button, then to her waist leaving tiny bruises all over from sucking on parts of her skin. All of them matched the bruise on her neck. Such plum and pomegranate colors that gave off shades of burgundy. They contrasted with her porcelain skin.

Bellamy still kissed her waist and her stomach hooking his finger between her shorts lightly tugging as they dragged down her hips and he slipped them right off her body leaving her in just those tiny little boy shorts. He groaned at the sight making his way back up to her lips. His hands slipped down her waist right to her center and his fingers caressed gently. Clarke moaned a bit louder now, Bellamy could only smirk letting his hooded dark eyes find hers. The determined look that usually sat on Clarke’s face was gone and was only replaced with ecstasy in her Larimar blue eyes. Her cheeks flushed over him, her body overwhelmed with senses she never recognized.

Her lips found the left side of his neck sucking, hardly gentle, his fingers tensed at her side and his other hand was now beside her head gripping the bed sheets. His groan was more of a growl as his fingers pressed so hard to her side the harder she sucked. Before he could react she used the grip she had with her legs on his waist to flip him over, she now straddled him on the bed.

Bellamy’s eyes wandered her in shock however they grew darker every second he touched her body. She grind herself into him, he was hard sitting in his track pants. Too many layers between them. She grinned and slipped them off his body, leaving them both in only bottoms between the two. She grind down again and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. “Fuck” she heard him mumble in a low tone. She leaned down to press her lips against his, her blonde curls a veil over top of him as she pressed her body against his. The feeling of her chest against him left his stomach to knot in desire. She pulled away from the kiss with a cheeky grin. She knew she was driving him mad with little slow grinds against him. He took both his hands to her breasts pulling lightly on her nipples. Her head flipped back a little Trigedasleng slipped from her lips, he chuckled because he knew it was her swearing at the sensation. He used this time to wrap an arm around her body and pinned her to the bed. That same face of shock that he had now matched hers as she lay beneath him, both his hands wrapped around her wrists pinning her. He gave her that same challenging glare. “keep these up here.” his voice was demanding and low. It made her insides tighten. She wasn’t ready to protest, she wanted anything he would do to her.

His lips danced down her body again and he used his index finger and his middle finger and ran them over top her center leaving her to moan and arch a little. He pressed harder and she arched more. He hooked his finger beneath the fabric, pulling her panties to the side now running his fingers over her bareness. She was so warm and so wet. Bellamy licked his index finger and slipped it inside her pressing it into the rough spot inside her. It made her body twitch and thrash matching her moans. He removed his finger shortly after leaving a groan of irritation from her. He chuckled darkly. “Now now, have some patience princess.” within a second of her eye roll that she made at him he roughly yanked them down off her body. It shocked her and her eyes met his as she was bare now in his presence. Was it possible for his eyes to grow darker in desire? she remembered his words.

You’re going to regret this the day I get my hands on you.

They could only be dark when looking at Clarke’s pure innocence. Her body had a blush, marks scattered all over her.

“You’ve been driving me insane.” he mumbled as he lightly brushed his tongue over her. The noise she made, made him chuckle and the heat of his breath mixed with the feeling of his tongue lightly playing with her made her body crave more. It’s almost as if he knew. He slipped two fingers inside her and paced his movement pressing into the rough patch inside her. He used his tongue lashing over her sweetest spots. He groaned in response to her moaning. Her legs twitching and her back arching the more he pushed her over the edge.

_“Bellamy...”_ she moaned, her hand found it’s way to his hair. His voice low and husk.

“Keep your hands up.” her only response was yanking his hair. His chuckle was dark but he didn’t protest. Instead he let her comb her fingers through his locks and his pace quickened with his tongue and his fingers. She gasped and moans filled the rooms. Words he couldn’t quite comprehend besides his name escaped her lips. Her climax came quickly and her fingers yanked on the bed sheets. He rose from between her legs and ran two fingers over top of her, she was now sensitive and it made her twitch. He chuckled and brought those fingers to her lips as she used her tongue to taste herself.

_“My God, look at how perfect you are...”_ he practically moaned his words.

She pulled him down to her, her hands wandering to his waist now pulling his boxers off.  
He slipped them off with ease and settled between her legs, rocking into her body and all of the sensitive parts of her. It felt like her body was on fire. He shifted himself to slip his hand between them. He pressed the tip inside her, teasing her a little, bit by bit until she groaned with impatience. He pushed himself inside her leaving her to gasp in pleasure. His moans mixed with hers as he started off slow. It was passionate and his forehead was pressed against hers, staring at her while his thrusts quickened. Her eyes, a solar flare of passion. Her fingernails clawing at his back, his groans loud and her gasps were mixed with soft whimpers. His hand went to hold the sides of her throat, kissing her softly. Her hand rose and clasped over his pressing it into her neck. He parted from the kiss to look at her, slowing his pace, she only smirked adjusting his hand so it gently had a hold of her neck. Clarke only smirked. His eyes rolled back with pleasure. The spark in her eyes drove him wild, leaving him to give in to the release.

They laid there for a while catching their breaths, sweat causing their skin to stick together. Olive on porcelain. His lazy eyes looked to her and she was already staring at him. Her fingers intertwined into his curls. “I love you, Clarke.” he mumbled. “I love you too, Bellamy.” she whispered kissing his forehead. Somewhere in between the lazy kisses and mumbles, they fell asleep.

Bellamy was the first of the two, to wake that morning. His eyes hooded and dazed and his arm tucked nicely around Clarke. Her hair was messy from the night before, sprawled out on the pillow and bed sheets beside him, her hair looking like rays from the very sun itself. She was so peaceful when she slept and it left Bellamy feeling more than blessed to wake up to her purity.

Bellamy nudged her a little bit.

“Clarke....” no response and then a groan. He chuckled.

“princess, lets get up. Let’s go see everyone.” he mumbled into her ear kissing her temple.

“Shower first..” she replied.

“Okay” he kissed her forehead and headed to start the shower, she followed in not long after and hopped in with him. For some reason he was surprised.

“What” she asked, looking at him curiously.

“Nothing...I’m just glad you’re here.” he smiled pulling her close under the water. He washed her hair, she washed his body and vice versa. She giggled when she put loads of bubbles on his nose and he rubbed his nose against hers spreading the bubbles around. He ended up pressing her up against the wall of the shower, kissing her, whispering the things he plans to do to her later.  
_  
_ They eventually got dressed.

  
_Eventually._  
  
Bellamy braided Clarke’s hair again, she loved when he did and he hardly had a reason to complain. While he was braiding her hair he was reminded of the coin he left in his jacket.

"I have something for you." he mumbled, brushing his hand on her arm and passing by her. Clarke's eyes widened as she played with her finished braid, watching Bellamy walk into the other room. He walked back to where she was now standing, waiting patiently for him.

"I found this on my mission...it reminded me of you." he held out his hand and in his palm sat the coin. Clarke reached for it and picked it up with her fingers. "It's a coin" she mumbled bringing it close to her face to look at it.

"It's the form of currency the people of the past used. They would use it to buy everything like we did on the Ark with our points." Bellamy finished tilting his head smiling, watching her analyze.

"It's beautiful, wow look at all the little carvings...Bellamy, thank you so much." She closed the space between them kissing his cheek, her lips lightly brushing against his freckles, wrapping her arms around his waist. Bellamy holds her close and kisses the top of her head.

_"Anything....for you."_

They eventually made their way out of their home, side by side, holding hands walking down the hall of the Ark.

_“Mrs Griffin!”_ a girl shouted running at Clarke.

“Hello, Kara.” she spoke to the girl kneeling down to her height allowing the small girl to wrap her arms around Clarke.

“I helped around and finished my homework early now I’m doing it for fun!” the small child shouted cheerfully.

“Oh my look at you, that’s wonderful, Kara. I’m very proud of you.” Clarke replied with that same cheerful voice. The small girl continued on telling Clarke about her volunteering Bellamy only guessed was from her lessons to the children. However, there was something about watching Clarke talk to a child that made Bellamy’s insides tighten. The thought of them having children crossed his mind and he wondered if that would ever happen, was it even possible for the two of them to experience that kind of peace? after all they’ve done and been through? did he even deserve a child? could he even be a good enough father? a thousand questions ran through his mind and he shook it to try to clear his mind, He was with Clarke right now, that’s what mattered. One step at a time.  
The dynamic in his relationship with Clarke had changed no doubtably so. His mind only wandered to things of positivity now. He had no reason to fear. He would love her forever.

Seeing Clarke with this small girl reminded Bellamy of Charlotte. The small girl, too pure for this world. She was too tormented by her thoughts. He wondered if he had handled his advice better, or he looked after her longer, if Wells would still be alive. He sometimes blames himself for Wells death. Even though it’s not his fault he wondered if he worded his advice to Charlotte differently, Wells would be alive. He knows that there is no way to change these kinds of things. All of the things that happened lead the hundred to where they were now.  
Most of them, if not all now, were at peace. That was the eternal goal.  
Bellamy spent the remainder of that day thinking about the future he will have with Clarke.

Later that night Raven got the delinquents together for a party. It had been an exhausting few weeks and they decided that meeting at the drop ship, spending the night, drinking and listening to music would be a good way to spend it. They were beginning the peace.

After all had been said and done, nobody in Arkadia could complain about anything the delinquents planned to do with their day off. They were the ones to save humanity in a way, they saved Arkadia countless times. They were adults, they saved everyone, not a word would ever be said about partying.

It’s not exactly like they could party growing up either. For the first time in their lives they were experiencing actual freedom, nobody planned to rob them from that.

The drop ship they decorated with old Christmas lights that flickered every once in a while. They took solar powered light posts that Raven had made and placed them around to give light in corners of the dark parts of the drop ship and outside to allow them to see in the dark. They lit a camp fire and brought logs to replace where the old ones sat. Ever since the explosion the smell of rotting flesh filled the area but now, the grass is grown over and the smell seemingly vanished over night. It was Clarke’s suggestion to go to the drop ship to celebrate. After her fond memories with both Bellamy and Octavia, she decided that only fond memories would take place here.

So while Maya’s old ipod sat on shuffle, they told Clarke stories to refresh her memory. Monty told her about the food that circulated around the camp, they were some kind of nut, that made everyone hallucinate, Raven piped in and added “I can’t change the tide if the moon wont cooperate.” it made them laugh and Monty to feel embarrassed, but in good spirit, he laughed too. Miller was never fond of Pike but he told the story of Pike’s rule and how the delinquents banned together, as they always did, to fight the power. Octavia went silent for a while, smiling here and there, Clarke new she was thinking about Lincoln.

Murphy spoke about early-drop ship chaos he caused. Bellamy would pipe in and tell stories about it as well. His eyes would wander to Clarke who had Octavia cuddled in close. “Murphy blew a hole out of the side of the drop ship to escape” Bellamy pointed to the top as everyone looked over.

“We weren’t sure how the crafty bastard did it, but afterwards Jasper and I decided to go after Clarke, Finn and Monty, who were all missing at the time.” Bellamy laughed with Jasper and Murphy.

“You really were a pain.” Emori asked with little to no question in her voice. Everyone nodded. Murphy would crack the “King of the Rebels” joke almost any chance he could. Bellamy honestly didn’t mind.

Raven told Clarke about how they saved Finns life by just talking to her mother over a radio. Raven also reminded Clarke of how thankful she was for her to save Finn even though he turned out to be everything she only considered her worst nightmares. She spoke about how she considered him family. Murphy would add sny comments here and there, it was all in good fun.

After a few old beers were downed and the moon shine was passed around, of course Jasper blared the music and began to dance. He actually took Raven’s hand to dance, she accepted it quite willingly. The fireflies, the camp fire, the little light posts, it all illuminated the area, glowing on the dancing figures. It was as if the moment the music turned up, everyone got rowdy. They even dragged Bellamy out as Clarke sat quietly, watching the flames dance. Octavia went to dance for a while then she came back to sit with Clarke.

“Hey Clarke, why aren’t you dancing with us!” Octavia asked plopping herself right next to Clarke.

“I don’t know, I kind of don’t remember how, I mean I get the idea, but I feel weird doing it.” Octavia giggled, her cheeks a flush red from the alcohol in her system.

“Bell!” she shouted. “Get over here!” He turned on his heel from the laughter that took place in the group to find Clarke and Octavia peeked over the log they sat against. He made his way over with a light jog and a chuckle to follow.

“Hey you two, what’s up?” his smile was so pure, his cheeks also flushed from a slight buzz. The light from the fire illuminated the sheer joy in his eyes.

“Dance with Clarke.” Octavia demanded rising from where she was sitting to skip off to the group. He stood there for a while still smiling.

“What’s going on?” he chuckled walking to sit on the log.

“I sort of don’t really remember how to dance.” she confessed giggling. “It looks silly.” Bellamy’s laughter mixed with her own. “I hardly remember music too.” she placed her hand on her forehead in embarrassment.

“Well music and rhythm is not something you only hear, it’s something you feel.” He lowered to lean his back on the log next to Clarke. He used his index finger and his middle finger and tapped lightly on his wrist to the beat of the song being played in the background. He was humming to it too.

Clarke’s cheeks went red as she giggled. “just looks like a weirdo tapping my wrist.” he chuckled, his smile still sat neatly on his face. He used both fingers to tap on her neck as well.

“Okay Bellamy, I think I get it” she laughed blinking at him.

“Okay if you get it” he rose from where he sat and held out his hand.

_“Then dance with me, Clarke.”_ she only blinked at him and slowly raised her hand to hold his. He pulled her up and brought her to where everyone else was, however they lingered just outside the group, giving them enough space to talk.

Bellamy put his hand on her waist and guided her hips along with his own. Her left arm on his broad shoulder, the other held his hand which he had up. He remembers his mother showing him how the people of the past used to dance in formalities. He sighed a little and she could smell the moonshine on his breath as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“This is how my mother taught me to dance, the people of our past used to do this, man and woman, at formal events.” he paused as Clarke spoke.

“That’s not how their dancing.” she gestured her head smirking at the rowdy group next to them. He let out a low laugh.

“This isn’t the music we would dance like this to either, but I think” he paused smiling at her, his eyes sparkled. “This was the best dance I could teach you. I haven’t danced like this since I was young.” he confessed watching the light in Clarke’s eyes sparkle along with his. It was such a simplistic romantic gesture and she loved that Bellamy was always finding simplistic ways to show her his love. The art set, the light hand on her back to guide her when he taught her things or when they worked on something together, the little art set or the flowers. He made little gestures because he knew he wasn’t always capable of expressing how he feels.

Bellamy and Clarke danced slowly for a while, their bodies brushing lightly together. It was a different kind of intimate that did not mirror last night. All Clarke knew is that she could very clearly stay like this forever. Between their rowdy friends, who were basically family, to the comfort of being in Bellamy’s arms. They were home, to Clarke.

Bellamy would even take her hand and spin her around. Clarke only wished she had a beautiful dress to wear to feel it twirl with her, but the thought of Bellamy in a suit only made her giggle. She told him about it and he told her how much he hated ties growing up. She knew that formal events in general would be something Bellamy would steer clear from. He wasn’t much of a formal kind of guy even if he was on the guard, he only cared for his guard uniform he had to wear. He hated dress shirts and ties that he had to wear to the ceremonies prior to his enrollment.

For a while Bellamy and Clarke are lost in the din of the delinquents. They hear nothing but the sound of one anothers breathing, they are lost in the environment but held so closely to home, in each others arms. They are brought back down to earth when Bellamy’s lips brushed over hers, a light but passionate kiss that left Clarke feeling like she was floating. The only thing that brought them back down to earth was the cheering of their friends watching them.

Bellamy thinks that their friends are sometimes happier than they are, that they’re together. The hooting and whistling followed by hollering and laughter could prove that.

 

The delinquents found their ways into the drop ship, some fell asleep outside, some fell asleep on the floor inside the drop ship. Anywhere their drunk minds took them.

Clarke and Bellamy made sure the delinquents were accounted for before Clarke decided she wanted to walk off a little bit of the alcohol. Bellamy didn’t protest so instead they walked hand in hand for a little while, just around the perimeter of the drop ship. Somewhere along the lines of walking, talking, and flirting, their lips found one anothers one again, crashing like waves but ones of pure vehemence, Bellamy lowered her to the forest floor.

After grass stains and messy hair from overwhelming desire, they slowly made their way back to the drop ship. Bellamy made a comment about how Clarke was walking funny, given that their love making made her knee’s weak, she made a bitter noise and he laughed, she would laugh along too. She at this point didn’t care about much of anything at all.

_She was okay._   
_They were okay._   
_They were always going to be okay._

She would make comments about how Bellamy goes weak in the knee’s for her too, he didn’t disagree but still turned his face away to blush. She would turn his face to look at hers, kiss him and run off for him to catch her, and he would. He scooped her up and she squealed. He had her held bridal style. “You’re going to be the death of me.” he would confess.

_He was okay._   
_They were okay._   
_They were always going to be okay._

A few weeks pass now to where Bellamy, Kane, Clarke, Octavia, and Abby sat at the dinner table in Abby and Kane’s home. Abby had invited them to dinner. The five of them had become much like family. The dinner table discussions usually went as follows: Clarke’s teaching, Abby’s work, Bellamy and Kane’s plans for Arkadia and so on and so fourth.  
That was until tonight.

  
It was relatively quiet amongst them all minus the bits of chatter and casual dinner questions. Kane had finished chewing before he wiped his mouth and looked over to Bellamy who had caught him in mid act.

“Bellamy, I wanted to ask you something.” The table was quiet now and Bellamy blinked. “It’s been a long time coming but..” he paused and smiled a little. “I think it’s time you take my place, Bellamy Blake.” Octavia’s mouth gaped and Clarke and Abby smiled. Bellamy was completely dumbfounded.

“What?” he questioned putting his fork down, searching Kane’s face. “I am giving you my place, I will now be your right hand man. You are fit to lead Arkadia.” Bellamy only blinked, his brows were furrowed and he was blatantly confused.

“Bellamy, Arkadia looks up to you.” Octavia finally added, she was giggling at her brothers confusion to this topic.

“I’m a lot of things..” Bellamy finally spoke. “A leader is not one of them. If it weren’t for Clarke, I’m certain the hundred that came down with me would have eventually just killed each other. It wasn’t even organized chaos.” he confessed.

“Bellamy” Clarke exhaled deeply he always beats himself up for everything. “That was so long ago...you’re the person everyone in this camp looks up to. Stop beating yourself up for the past.” Clarke sounded concerned but level headed. She always knew how to put Bellamy in his place.

“Still...” he mumbled. “Still nothing, Kane wants to make you leader, don’t you think that if for a moment Kane thought you were unfit, that he would be offering this to you?” she questioned and Bellamy only nodded in agreement.

“I guess so.”  
“You’re fit to lead us, Bellamy.” Kane spoke calmly placing his hand on the table in front of Bellamy. Underneath his hand was the Chancellor pin.

  
“No” Bellamy spoke firmly. Kane looked at him in shock as did the rest of the women. “We do not live on the Ark anymore. I refuse to wear that pin. Not after what happened to my mother, or Clarke’s father, no. That pin brings only sadness and I will not wear it.” Bellamy’s voice was light with irritation but firm enough to show he was not playing around at the topic.

“I understand” Kane answered.

“Lead us as you wish to, I will not force this pin on you. It’s a small symbol but as I can see from your perspective”

Bellamy cut Kane off. “That pin brought the greatest of pain to every single one of my friends at some point. To me it’s no different than wearing a reapers mask. It’s something that drove a small child to lose her mind. I cannot say it is entirely Jaha, but that pin brings nothing but negative energy and it strikes fear into people. I don’t want that.” Bellamy finished, his eyes fell on Clarke. Between him mentioning her father and his mention of Charlotte it brought little tears to her eyes. She remembers Charlotte now, so clearly. She remembers Wells again and this time she smiles.

“Lead our people the way you wish to.” Kane replied smoothly. Bellamy didn’t speak for a while. They resumed eating dinner. “I will” he finally spoke after swallowing.

“I will lead our people. - I accept. So long as I get someones opinion first.” his eyes danced between the women and fell on Clarke.

“What you want my opinion?” she asked curiously, her brow peaked. Bellamy only nodded. “Of course I think you should, Bellamy look at how you effect everyone around you. The children I teach talk about you like you put the stars in their sky. People listen to you. They look up to you.” Clarke’s voice was tender and loving and he can only be reminded of the time she spoke of Bellamy’s leadership back from the beginning.

He smiled at her words and Octavia made a little noise of excitement. “Okay.” he said softly.  
“I will have things prepared, we will celebrate your coming of leadership. Don’t roll your eyes either, it’s something to celebrate for and we don’t come by those often.” Kane laughed as Bellamy only huffed in defeat. Octavia cheered and made her way over to him and wrapped her arms around him. It caught Bellamy off guard, considering how things were between them. They hadn’t exactly come to terms with one another or made up and here she was with him and he couldn’t feel more grateful.

“Thanks O, for everything.” he mumbled into her dark long hair. “No thanks needed, big brother.” It seemed like an apology wasn’t needed between the siblings. They had spent too much time together, they grew up together, they would always have each others backs. Somehow, Clarke knew, that the Blake’s would be okay.

The rest of the night had Kane, Clarke and Octavia in the living room playing cards. Bellamy helped Abby in the kitchen with the dishes and any cleaning that needed to get done. The groans and protests of a sore loser, Octavia, only echoed the house. It prompted laughter, she never liked losing.

Abby leaned over Bellamy to grab more soap and he responded quickly before she could grab it and handed it to her.

“Thank you.” she mumbled. Bellamy took a long pause and sighed.

“I wanted to ask you something.” Abby turned to look at him curiously. It had been the first real time they spoke since Clarke disappeared. Minus the very small conversation they hadn’t really had the time to be alone and here they were.

“I want to marry your daughter...I want her hand.” Bellamy finally spoke, his voice was clear but still very nervous and it was visible. “Let me marry Clarke.” this was now more of a demand than a question or at least it seemed. Abby turned to Bellamy drying off her hands. Bellamy tensed, he was worried she wouldn’t take it well and it seemed like she wasn’t, that was until she wrapped her arms around him. He was shocked.

“of course.” she mumbled, his arms wrapped back around her. He smiled into her hair as he let her down.

“Stay here.” she mumbled as she walked away leaving him in the kitchen, completely dumbfounded. He found himself feeling that way quite frequently the last few days and it began to make him amused. Abby stalked back into the kitchen.

“Hold out your hand.” he did with no question, he only blinked at her with that same look of confusion that seemed signature to Bellamy. Her delicate fingers placed a tiny ring into his palm. It glowed and glistened, it had a white gold band with a small diamond in the center with tiny cubic zirconia stones to circle the diamond in the center.

_“It’s beautiful.”_ he mumbled.

“Clarke’s father gave it to me, it’s my wedding ring.” she replied smiling up at him.

_“Are you sure?”_ he questioned , looking sincerely at Abby. Her smile widened.

“I have never been so sure of something in my life. I know you will take care of her.” her breathing was a sigh of relief and she was truly happy that Bellamy would be the one to love Clarke unconditionally, the way she needed to be loved.

“Now you just need to find a wedding band for yourself.” she spoke in an inquiring tone. He nodded.

“Thank you, Abby.” his reply was with a voice of pure contentment. He was so happy and he couldn’t seem to hold it in. He turned to look over to the living room where Clarke and Octavia were now cuddled, listening to Kane talk about his knowledge on the people of the pasts monuments, the Statue of Liberty, the Eiffel tower. He even suggested the idea of building one until Clarke decided to be sny and sarcastic, reminding him of the labor. He only sighed and mentioned that she was just like her mother. Bellamy and Abby were similar too. They were the hearts, and Kane and Clarke were the brain. Abby watched Bellamy’s eyes soften at the sight of her daughter.

“So when, then?” she questioned quietly.

“Soon.” was his only reply.

Clarke and Bellamy went home that night. He made a point to tuck the ring away where he knows she wouldn’t find it. It was in a tiny box inside their kitchen, tucked away in a small box of his belonging that he didn’t un box yet. He was amused by the fact that he forgot to unpack it. He had been so distracted by Clarke’s presence that everything else seemed to lose value, almost as if they didn’t matter.

They crawled into bed not long after and Clarke asked Bellamy to tell her a story, so he did without question. He told her about the goddess of memory: Mnemosyne.  
It became habit for Clarke to fall asleep to Bellamy’s stories.  
He found comfort in the fact that his voice and presence alone could rock her to sleep. Given all she had to do, all she had to go through with him to get here. Her being calm and in a peaceful state of mind was one thing Bellamy only thought could only ever be a dream. Here he was living it. She was at peace in his arms.  
They were home.

 

Bellamy woke the next morning to a little note from Clarke:

_“Gone to the new strawberry fields with Octavia, I’ll bring you back some I promise! xo.”_ he smiled hazzily at it and continued to roll out of bed.

He too had plans today. Rather big ones at that. After slugging himself around for a while attempting to wake himself up he made his way to the Blacksmith. He was greeted by Jasper and Murphy who were training to become the local blacksmiths and he had to admit they were doing a pretty good job.

“Morning Bellamy” Jasper said cheerfully, Murphy gave him a little nod.

“Morning” Bellamy’s response was low.

“Everything alright?” Murphy asked.

“I actually need a favor” Bellamy’s eyes bounced between the men over the counter. “

What’s going on?” Jasper asked., his brow perked.

“I need you to measure my finger.” He confessed, his eyes wandered elsewhere.

_“Oh”_ Murphy’s voice was humorous and Jasper chuckled, they wore shit eating grins. “It’s that time huh.” Jasper replied cheekily.

  
_“Shut up”_ Bellamy was half pouting.

_“Oh shit he’s serious”_ Murphy muttered bumping Jasper on the arm. Bellamy’s face was flush red.

“Yes” he mumbled. Both men laughed, _“I always knew one day you’d get her and once you did...you’d never let her go.”_ Jasper confessed.

_They weren’t wrong._


	10. May we always be together.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He grinned a grin that out shined any other smile he could muster up and leaned against one of the empty trees. “Look at how beautiful you are.” he mumbled to himself as his eyes admired her dancing figure. “I thought you thought dancing was silly.” He questioned watching her sway. “I don’t know maybe I took a liking to looking silly like you.” she replied cheekily as a butterfly landed on her finger. The small flight filled creatures seemed to gravitate to Clarke. He figures they can sense the peace inside her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you so much for all the love and support you have all given me.  
> Writing this was a journey all on it's own.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading, The one where I remember only your name.  
> If you enjoyed my work here, please look out for future stories, I will be starting many more.  
> Thank you.

All of Arkadia was decorated with festive lights, the smell of food lingered in the air, and the happiness rang true to the tune of cheering and laughter. Conversations here and there about the new arrival, the new rising of the person who will lead Arkadia, Bellamy Blake.

Celebrations didn’t happen often, if ever down here on earth. Mostly because joy was short lived. They spent so long desperately trying to survive that when time came to celebrate, Bellamy wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He wrote his speech and prepared himself, they even found him a nice dress shirt that was tucked away in the Ark. The crowd stood in front of the small stage that was put together, awaiting Bellamy’s arrival.

“Okay, it’s time.” Kane whispered to Bellamy, giving him a light pat on the shoulder.

Clarke had her hands on his chest as Bellamy went over the fact that he was nervous about six times in a row.

“You’ve got this, Bellamy.” she mumbled giving him a light kiss to his lips.

“It’s nerve racking is what it is.” he replied with half a grin.

“Just read what you wrote down, they would listen even if it was broken English, you’re their leader now.” she chuckled, their foreheads were now pressed together, Bellamy’s hands lingered at her sides.

“You really bring out the best in me.” he confessed, his voice soft and gentle.

“That goes both ways.” she replied with a cheeky smile poking his nose.

“Now go get em’ make them proud the way you make me proud.” he only nodded and kissed her forehead, making his way to the stage.

The crowd hushed as Kane and Bellamy entered the area. Kane took center stage to speak first. He cleared his throat and began.

“I came down to this planet with a negative mind set. I had it all wrong thinking that we couldn’t trust the kids we sent down here. I ran with the stereotypes, that they were delinquents, and now I laugh at myself for how wrong I truly was. Bellamy Blake, lead the hundred, under no request. He did it souly out of the good intentions he grew down here. He showed little to no fear and took challenges head on. Now here I stand today with the man I once doubted, passing on my authority. I know he will head us to true peace. Thank you.”

Kane finished and the crowd clapped. Bellamy swallowed hard knowing now, he was to speak. He walked to the front where Kane stood and his eyes wandered the crowd and found the blue eyes he hoped to. There she was standing there, waiting. He had to make her proud.  
Bellamy cleared his throat and began.

“What Kane spoke of was true yes, to a degree. I came down to earth to protect my sister. Siblings was a foreign concept on the Ark. I was blessed to have something that no one else did. A had a beautiful sister to look after. She was all I had left.” he swallowed hard and continued.

“I made terrible choices that lead me here. I was the one to shoot the chancellor, under hidden kill orders, bribery, to get me on the drop ship. It was a chance I had to save my sister and I took it.  
When we landed, no I was not a fierce leader, in fact I didn’t even want the rest of you to come down here. I knew I would be killed if you did. That was until the truth was discovered and I was pardoned of my crimes. - Earth was as breath taking as a read when I was a child, but unfortunately, everything beautiful has a dark side. Earth’s dark side, was the grounders for us at the time. We landed thinking we were alone in this world and as we faced challenges, we quickly discovered otherwise. I was blessed enough to have the rest of the hundred by my side. The people I now call family. Never in a million years, when I entered the drop ship, did I think I would find my family here. It’s amusing that now I’m here standing in front of you all, still hardly believing it myself.” he chuckled as did the crowd.

“I didn’t lead them alone, I had help and got by with that help. We didn’t just survive, but we lived to tell the tale.” Jasper hollered from the back and Bellamy chuckled more, his eyes found Clarke’s and they were sparkling with admiration.

“I found my family, I found peace and I found love. I hope to continue this trend and bring peace to every single one of you. I will lead you as a friend, as family. I will not bear the name Chancellor. I do not wish to be called that. I am only a man who will lead you as I would my own family, you are all my family. I will also, not carry the pin. It’s a new age now, a new life for us all to live. The time is now to bring peace, to rebuild, _long live Arkadia!”_ Bellamy finished with a pitch of cheer in his voice and the crowd roared in delight.

Bellamy, with his welcoming smile and effortless charm, was the picture of a perfect leader.

Clarke made her way to Bellamy, in fact she broke into a sprint as the people around her cheered for him. She launched herself into Bellamy’s arms, who was already awaiting her embrace. He swung her around and he could hear her joy. “I’m so proud of you, Bellamy.” she said softly, still in his strong embrace.

“I couldn’t have done any of this without you.” he mumbled back.

“Not this time, this was all you, Bellamy.” she responded and he only smiled. He wasn’t about to protest and she wasn’t about to take credit. So long as he knew in his heart that she drove him to success, he didn’t care if she disagreed.

The festivities carried on throughout the night. Raven figured out a way to connect some old music players to the speakers of Arkadia so between the bustling about of dancing and cheering people and music, it was a delightful night. Clarke and Abby had spent a lot of time with the rest of the girls dancing away, their laughter filled the area and at one point Jasper got in on it too. His dance moves weren’t impressive but he could care less.

Clarke kept a small look out for Bellamy here and there throughout the night. She would watch him greet Arkadians, thank them for their congratulations, hugs to children and the people who greeted him as well. It warmed Clarke’s heart to the highest degree. He was such a good leader and this was only the beginning.

Somewhere in between all of the thank you’s, Bellamy made his way over to Clarke.

“Hey Bell!” Octavia shouted wrapping her arms around him.

“Congratulations, Bellamy. You’re going to make a fine leader for us all.” Abby confessed with a smile.

“Thanks everyone.” he turned to Clarke who was already watching him.

“Can I have a minute with you?” he asked as he took her hand. Puzzled looks from Raven as they began to walk away. Clarke gave her a small shake from her head, letting her know that it’s alright. She assumed the sudden act of pulling her away from the festivities was something to worry about.

“Bellamy, what is it?” Clarke questioned, walking along side Bellamy who was still tugging her.

“Shh, just wait.” he mumbled bringing his finger to hips lips. They walked to the hole in the fence that was all too familiar.

“If we’re leaving Arkadia shouldn’t we take supplies or at least protection?” Clarke questioned now trying to tug her hand away. Bellamy swiped the side of his jacket aside to show his pistol, flashlight, and pocket knife.

“We are going to be fine okay, do you trust me?” he asked, not awaiting her response before he began walking again.

“Okay.” she only mumbled. They left not a second later.

Bellamy took out his flashlight the moment they entered the forest.

“Where are you taking me?” she was prying now and relatively nervous. The thought of being out walking this late reminded her of her kidnapping.

“don’t ask so many questions, princess.” he teased. They walked hand in hand, quietly for a while before glowing illuminated the distance. Clarke’s eyes widened as she removed her hand from his, practically jogging.

Clarke stopped and her blue eyes felt like they were mirrored onto every tree in sight. Blue glowing butterflies fluttered about landing on all of the tree’s above and next to her. She felt like she was floating in a glowing sea. A small one even landed on her head and the small giggle she let out left Bellamy to grin wildly.

“They come here often." he mumbled. She didn’t turn to him for a while as she spun around like a child in a flower field.

_“This is beautiful.”_ she spoke sounding breathless from adoration.

  
“That’s you.” he mumbled as he watched her admire each and every butterfly that fluttered around her. He grinned a grin that out shined any other smile he could muster up and leaned against one of the empty trees. “Look at how beautiful you are.” he mumbled to himself as his eyes admired her dancing figure.

“I thought you thought dancing was silly.” He questioned watching her sway.

“I don’t know maybe I took a liking to looking silly like you.” she replied cheekily as a butterfly landed on her finger. The small flight filled creatures seemed to gravitate to Clarke. He figures they can sense the peace inside her.

Bellamy noticed a few things when watching her in this state. Watching her amongst the butterflies reminded him of space. The fluttering illuminated creatures were like stars, the dark sky and the dark forest was the endless darkness of space, and Clarke was like the milky way. She was so delicate and her porcelain skin illuminated in the dark. Her long curls swayed with her figure as she admired the creatures around her.

Clarke was something out of a fairy tale to him. She was better than all of the Goddesses he read about, none of them compared to the raw beauty that stood in front of him. He watched her for a while before he decided to gently tug her back to reality.

“Hey princess.” he spoke loud enough for her to hear but not loud enough to scare the butterflies.

“yes” she mumbled still caught in the little world she was in.

“You know what would make this an even prettier sight?” he questioned, chuckling and humored by her lack of whereabouts or state of reality. She was undoubtedly in her own little world.

“A dress.” his reply was light and short and her eyes now wandered from the creature on her finger to Bellamy.

“But we don’t have dresses down here.” she stuttered, mildly confused.

“I might have pulled a few strings, if you will.” his humor was dry and Clarke laughed nervously, still relatively unsure of what he was getting at. He sighed with humor.

“A long time ago, the people of our past used to have ceremonies, big ones. Kind of like a celebration that we’re having tonight, just much bigger.” his eyes were glued to Clarke now as her attention was on him. Every few seconds her eyes would follow the creatures that fluttered around her but they would direct back to him.

“What were they for?” she questioned.

“Really?” he asked, he was laughing and her brow furrowed at his laughter.

_“Clarke...”_ he mumbled, he looked sincerely at her. _“I want to see you in that dress. - The ceremony would be for us...”_ he spoke quietly a little blush crept to his face and Clarke’s eyes widened at the sudden realization as to what he was getting at.

_“Oh...Bellamy..”_ her voice was broken from realization and joy as he closed the space between them and got down on his knee.

“Marry me, Clarke Griffin.” from his jacket pocket he pulled out the ring Abby gave him.

“That’s...how....that’s my mom’s ring...that means she...” Clarke was tripping over her words, flabbergasted.

“Yes.” he only said.

“I don’t know when it happened...but I’ve been in love with you for so long now.” he confessed and his heart eyes melted with hers. “Let me take your hand, let me be the man to marry you. Let me be the first man to marry a woman from the Ark, on earth. _Marry me, Clarke.”_ his words were so gentle and full of love and Clarke’s eyes watered like the colors of a pearl.

“yes..of course...yes” her words were gut enchantingly pure and full of delight. She held out her hand and he slipped Abby’s ring on her finger. “perfect fit.” he mumbled rising to his feet. “Bellamy...” she mumbled looking up at him. He snaked his arm around her, pulling her in, his lips crashing to hers.

They embraced with light kisses that were filled with happiness. Little tears kissed the sides of his cheeks too. He was happy that nobody was ever around when he cried for her. However, he knows that when they do marry, he wont be able to keep his bravado composure.

He spun her around and danced with her for a little while as the butterflies illuminated like a sea. Each one carrying memories of their past and ones to come.

They made their way back to Arkadia, a slow stroll. He talked to her about his mother and how happy she would be to see him this happy. Clarke said the same about her father. She reminded him that her father would be happy to see that she had someone like Bellamy.

“Clarke! where have you been!” Raven shouted as Clarke and Bellamy made their way back to the festivities. Bellamy walked passed them, leaving Clarke with Raven. Clarke watched him walk away.

“what’s going on?” Raven questioned as Harper and Octavia joined at her side, looking at Clarke’s flushed cheeks as she pointed to Bellamy.

He was on the stage once again and as much as everyone was wrapped up in their festivities, as he was their leader, they would always settle to his presence.

“Everyone” he started. “I’m glad to see you’re enjoying the festivity” light cheers came from bits of the crowd. “However, it doesn’t look like they will be stopping any time soon.” he paused and a few curious looks were passed to him.

“I’m pleased to announce that there will be the first Marriage on earth in just a few short weeks.” he looked to Clarke as did the crowd, it took a moment and the eruption of cheer was immediate.

_“Oh my god!”_ Octavia shouted, smothering Clarke in a warm embrace.

All of the delinquents were at Clarke’s side now pulling her hand up to see the ring and congratulating her. He got off the little stage and walked towards the group. The men pat Bellamy on the back congratulating him and Murphy pulled out Bellamy’s wedding band.

_“Oh Murphy, yes I will marry you.”_ Bellamy deadpanned taking it from him.

“Hell yeah” was Murphy’s only response and laughter filled the group. After the girls finished ogling the ring and smothering Clarke with excitement, Bellamy closed the space between them and took her hand, kissing her forehead.

“I wonder how long Bellamy’s been planning this shit.” The group adored the gesture and Murphy’s humor continued on the rest of the night.

Bellamy doesn’t even remember when they went to sleep or how they even got back to their home.  
All he knows is that Clarke was sound asleep next to him when he woke. He peppered kisses down her bare back and she let out a light groan to the feeling of his lips on her.

“Hey you.” he mumbled into her back. She hummed in response as his fingers played at the valley of her hips, rubbing his hands all over her body.

“I guess we have planning to do” she mumbled into her pillow.

He only laughed in agreement. “that’s the idea.”

Clarke spent days on end dealing with Raven and Octavia’s excessive planning. Clarke would say it was overwhelming but she knew it was in good fun and no doubtably because they loved her. The two would bicker on what decorations they had for it and how they would plan out the layout. Clarke decided she wanted it in the field outside of the Ark, the one her and Bellamy stargazed in.

She never knew Octavia to be the type to go wild over formalities but she had heard so many stories her brother told her about marriages, that she wanted to be right in the middle of all of said-action.

  
Sometimes Clarke thought that her friends were more excited than she was....and she was the bride.

“How do you feel about little hanging lanterns? we have some that were in storage from the Ark.” Raven asked and Octavia nodded in agreement.

“Those would look so wonderful” she added.

“Sure..” Clarke replied quietly, her eyes trailing to the floor.

“Everything okay?” Raven questioned curiously, her eyes searching Clarke’s face.

“Yeah, just a little overwhelmed.” Clarke mumbled in frustration.

“I hate this planning, it’s obnoxious” she blurted out leaving an uneasy tension in the air between the girls.

“It’s necessary though, Clarke. It’s the first wedding on earth of course we’re going to be a little bit over-the top about it.” Octavia spoke confidently, believing that her excitement was justified.

“I know, I’m just not used to any of this.” Clarke stressed looking at the paper in front of her with the list of wedding details.

“Clarke, it’s going to be okay.” Raven sighed looking at the stress clear on her face, placing her hand on Clarke’s leg.

“I hope you’re right.” Clarke finished up for the night, she was tired of planning, tired of the bickering, tired of everything.

She left the girls with the unease of her voice when she bid goodnight to them. They were worried that they might have pushed the envelope. Clarke entered their home to find Bellamy already propped up on the couch, his legs folded over one another, reading one of his old history books. “Hey” she grumbled. The tone in her voice had Bellamy on the bottoms of his feet faster than he could blink.

“Everything okay?” he closed the space between them trailing his fingers down her arm, attempting to find her face with his own. She only sighed deeply

“All this planning...for once I can say I miss war stress instead.” she laughed lightly.

“You’re stressed too huh.” he chuckled with her as her eyes met his. Bellamy’s eyes glowed in adoration every time he looked at her.

“What’s got you stressed?” she asked in worry and he smiled. “You don’t honestly think you’re the only one planning this wedding are you? I have all of the other preparations underway.” he replied sweetly.

“you started planning the layout?” she blinked in shock and he laughed, his dimples showing.

“Of course, Clarke. When have I ever let you tackle something alone?” he questioned and her eyes sparkled.

“This is true, from what I remember.” she smirked.

_“We take on this together.”_ he mumbled kissing her cheek and she sighed brokenly walking towards the bedroom and he trailed along behind her.

_"Together."_ she repeated.

“Shower?” he questioned, she nodded and headed to the bathroom.

She turned the knob and got in moments later. He followed along behind her sensing her unease.

_“Clarke..”_ he mumbled putting the flat of his hand around her arm to turn her around to look at him. The water was warm and the heat of the shower left flush marks on both of their cheeks. Her eyes however, spoke of worry, concern, question. They only watched one another for a while, light caresses and touches, her porcelain skin contrasting off his dark, freckle kissed skin.

“Do we ever get to live a normal life? what if this is it for us?” she blurted out the question and her breathing was uneven.

_“Clarke...”_ he said again, a voice of concern now, his eyes wandering her.

“I’m serious, this wedding thing is abnormal and it feels almost out of place. We’ve been so focused on survival that I don’t even know if we can live this normal - euphoric life.” Clarke confessed sighing, grabbing the rose petaled soap of the shelf. Bellamy chuckled a little kissing her jaw.

“Sometimes, we roll with the punches. This is weird for me too, Clarke.” he replied with that weird mouth thing he does, moving it to the side, it was a half smile.

“I mean....” she started and her eyes fell to the floor of the tub, watching the water drain between their feet. Her pause was uneasy and questionable and he felt his heart in his throat, worried about what she had planned to say when she mustered up a reply.

“what if I want a baby one day...could we even?” her eyes were sad and they followed up his body to his face, where his eyes sat in slight shock. They were wide in realization of the topic.

“Clarke...you?” Bellamy started.

“No, but one day I want to, I want to have babies one day. Could we even?” she sighed and he sighed too, but for different reasons.

His breathing was uneven and he felt his body go warm to the thought of wanting children, her wanting children with him.

“If you want babies, when the time comes, we will.” he spoke confidently hoping to press the warmth of his voice into her thoughts. She looked up at him sincerely.

“you’d want that, Bellamy?” she questioned, the sincerity in her eyes now matching the tone of her voice. He didn’t want to speak, he wanted his body language to speak for him so his kiss was deep and honest as he lifted her, pressing her body against the shower wall. He couldn’t control the way her sweet voice spoke his name, made him feel. The warmth of the shower, the warmth of her in every aspect, drove him wild. Their love was wet and hot, it was heavy and not in the way it was ordinarily. There was something so raw and passionate about the hour that passed between them in that shower.

  
They didn’t care the water that was running, or the fact that it was getting cold. The heat between them was enough.

Later they laid in bed and her fingers danced along the freckles on his back. They massaged in places that felt tense to her and he groaned in response.

“Clarke....” he started speaking sweetly, as if to continue the conversation.

“No matter what happens, we will get through it, together. If you want a baby one day, please tell me...I will give that to you, we will have one.” his voice was a mumble, for it sat half in the pillow as her fingers worked in the sweet spots of his back. He felt her fingers tense in response.

“You don’t think you deserve it.” she responded quietly watching him and his breathing was deep in response as a slight sigh left his lips.

“Bellamy...” that same sweet voice spoke to him leaving him vulnerable.

“I don’t know how to be a father.” he was honest, he never had one himself to even contemplate the thought of knowing what to do. To his surprise her response was a light chuckle.

“The way you look after O, is a perfect example.” That got his attention and his head and body now swiveled on it’s side to face in her direction, he was looking at her. “I mean think about it, Bell. You’ve looked after Octavia all your life. Not only that, you looked after the hundred. You’re prepared, more than you think.” she smiled a genuine smile that could only cause him to smile as well. He played with her golden damp hair.

“I guess you’re right, princess.” his voice sounded relieved, she always knew the right things to say. “We’ll get through this together.” was her only response and she was so right.

A few weeks pass and the sweet conversations of positivity continued between them. Clarke would come home stressed from the pressures of the girls and the planning. Harper even joined in and made it a bit easier on Clarke. She was lucky and Emori taught her breathing exersizes to deal with the unenevidable stress that came with wedding planning. Clarke knew she had such a positive group of friends, she knew she would be alright. Coming home to Bellamy every night, was what made her the happiest she’s ever been.His warmth and love to enlope in, that was all she needed.

Bellamy had planning to do too, he was in charge of all of the physical labor that came with it. He was lucky, he had their friends too. To his surprise they helped willingly. He would normally hear irritated sighs from Murphy, but there were none to be heard. He realized that they were just as happy about this as him and Clarke were. They got to see the love between Clarke and Bellamy bloom and now they plan to spend their lives together, now they plan to seal it with the first marriage on earth. It was symbolic and it had historical meaning now for the people who live on earth.

Time had passed so quickly and before she knew it, she was putting her dress on for the first time, getting ready for what everyone was calling...a big day. She was tired of hearing that phrase. The dress that was made for her was simple and satin. It had elegant embrodery sleeves and draped long behind her. It sat on the sides of her shoulders and hung like a soft vneck. Clarke was exceptionally lucky that there was fabric hidden in storage from the ark. The woman who knew how to sew that survived, made one for her. They measured her and flattered her with compliments as the dress slipped over her waist and sat snug and perfect. The noises that came from the women in the room sounded much like birds to Clarke. The squealing over the gown, she wishes she could drown it out. Her hair was pinned from her temples to the back with a little hair clip. Some old makeup was applied, she refused lipstick.  
She had been the luckiest first bride ever, that all of the little things she could need for this wedding happened to be in what was left of the Ark they built over.

“Clarke, you look breathtaking.” Abby spoke quietly, holding back her tears. Raven was already crying, so was Octavia. She wished people would stop crying about her, for literally every reason. She only smiled in response to the women. That’s all she really could do.

Bellamy’s preparations didn’t take long. They were lucky to find him a dress shirt and a tie. They had a side room for the men to get ready as well. It was one of the old living quarters, furthest from fancy but Bellamy could care less. His mind was elsewhere.

“Hey big guy, big day for you.” Murphy implied patting Bellamy on the back. He nodded slightly. He leaned against the wall, his head resting with it.

“what’s up man?” Murphy questioned leaning with him.

“I don’t know..” Bellamy coughed a little in attempt to make this less awkward than he was making it.

“cold feet?” Murphy implied again as Bellamy’s head shot to look at him.

“figured.” Murphy only mumbled and Bellamy sighed letting his head hang low.

“Why do you have cold feet, it’s Clarke.” Murphy’s question sounded a little demeaning but it was unintentional. Bellamy let out another sigh.

“I don’t know, I worry I wont be able to be good to her the way I need to be.” Bellamy confessed and Murphy listened carefully.

“Look Bellamy, do you care about her?” Bellamy deadpanned in his direction. “I’m serious Bellamy.” Murphy pressed. “Do you care about Clarke? Do you love Clarke? Is she what you want for the rest of your life?” Murphy finished awaiting a response. “

_She’s all I have ever wanted.”_ Bellamy smiled a little looking to his feet.

“I know that. So why are you worried?” his question was filled with a humorous tone, he was trying to lighten the mood. Bellamy caught Murphy off guard with the simplest of gestures.

“Thanks, Murphy.” - This caused Murphy to laugh out loud in response, a full blown roar of laughter and Bellamy laughed in confusion.

_“It’s usually Shut up, Murphy.”_ he responded. They hadn’t laughed like this in a while.

The field was set up with rows of any chair they could find. A long piece of fabric that looked like a carpet but was very clearly something else. As a gift from Azgeda for the couple, a wooden Gazebo like arch was made for the couple to marry under. It was beautifully carved and elegant, it looked to be made from the finest carvers and woodworkers of Azgeda. It didn’t take long for Azgeda guests to arrive and it took even less time for people to file into their seats, awaiting the ceremony.  
A violinist from the Ark played what she knew to keep the guests soothed and comfortable.

It was time to put Clarke’s veil on. Abby had kept hers, in hopes to give it to Clarke when the time came and here she was, letting the halo of the veil kiss her nose. My god, Clarke looked beautiful. She felt like she was in some kind of fairytale. To her, everything with Bellamy seemed to be one. To have her loved ones to watch this day, to embrace this day, with her, was all she could ever ask for. The excited squeals from the women in her life as they made sure every part of Clarke looked perfect, to the access, unnecessary pre-ceremony sobbing.

Kane entered the room where Clarke stood with the women.

“Just came to check on everyone, looks like things are going wonderfully here. Clarke you look breath taking.” Kane was smiling and his joy was smothering her. The smiles she was getting today were ones she had never seen before. Kane turned to walk away before Clarke called to him.

“wait” she spoke, raising her voice.

“I want you to walk me down the isle.” it was a demand and far less of a request and Kane’s eyes widened and he looked to Abby in search of a response.

_“Please.”_ Clarke pleaded.

“I would...be delighted.” Kane spoke with affection. Abby couldn’t cry more when she smothered herself in Kane’s shoulder. There was love and laughter all around.

The music played and said-bridal party made their way down the isle. Clarke and Bellamy mutually decided that each and every one of their friends were to be in the bridal party if they wanted it or not. They walked hand in hand, side by side, as pairs. Jasper complimented Raven, and Bryan complimented Miller. Monty and Harper to follow with Murphy and Emori. Octavia walked with King Roan.

When Bellamy told Roan about the wedding his laugh was endless and his reply was “finally” - however it took convincing for Roan to be involved. That was until Clarke puppy-eye’d him half to death. It would always humor Bellamy to see Roan fall weak to Clarke’s theatrics. The people seated were silent and the only noises were ones of compliment, admiring the loved ones walking to wait.

Abby was to walk Bellamy down. She met with him at the room he stayed at. She entered the room and his eyes shot to her.

“ready?” she asked tilting her head to the side to admire the man in front. “How is she?” Bellamy asked quickly and Abby laughed.

“Time to find out for yourself, don’t you think?” he smiled.

“I’m so proud of you, Bellamy.” Abby confessed, shocking Bellamy. Even though they were on good terms, it still shocked him no matter who it was, when they told him they were proud of him. Now that Abby and Kane were family, it stood out substantially. He cleared his throat. “Thank you.” he replied wholeheartedly.

Bellamy walked with Abby and the violin spoke to him. His senses were heightened as the situation was real and rang true in his mind. He was about to marry Clarke. He could feel every pair of eyes on him and Abby as they walked down the isle. He walked confidently with Abby on his arm. He made a point to pace himself with her. Her smile was wide and the left over tears on her cheeks still stayed but she looked beautiful too. This was the happiest moment of not only Bellamy and Clarke’s life but every single person here with them. There had not been a true moment of rest since they landed on Earth and here the survivors stood, gathered and eloped in the love of two people who met under the most unlikely circumstances. They were sent down to earth to die and in return it brought two people, from separate factions, together to fall in love.

  
“Are you ready, Clarke?” Kane’s hand caressed her shoulder. She turned her head to look at him and she smiled so gently, so perfectly.

“You look wonderful.” he had said this at least six or seven times in the process of waiting for the ceremony to start but she couldn’t complain. Kane was the only father figure she had and has had for a long time.

“Yes I’m ready.” she spoke softly and took his hand, she hooked her arm around his.

The crowd rose the moment Clarke entered the area and the Violenist played a classic tune. She was elegant and her strides were delicate. She walked with her head held high with Kane right by her side. She turned the the corner and there he stood. His eyes were glossy and wide, it was clear he was stunned. She was truly breathtaking.

To him, there she was. Her soft curls sat on her shoulders, her body so perfectly placed into her dress. Her eyes were glossy too. This was it, they were getting married. Bellamy stood there watching her as she made her way to him. His breath hitched and the wind felt like it was knocked out of him, my god she looked so breathtaking. Her eyes smiled to him and the smile reached his face and when it did it glowed. It caused the crowd to awe in response. They knew how much this meant to them. The thoughts they both had as she made her way to him, were ones of memories, it’s like they were linked.

_The air could be toxic._

_If the air is toxic we’re all dead anyway._

She took his breath away then too.

_Find it for us, let the privileged do the work for the change._

Dear God he was such an ass, he was so stubborn.

_This wristband transmits your vital signs to the Ark._

His eyes trailed to her when she spoke to Finn, he watched her protest to the act, she was strong like a lioness.

_We’re stronger than you think, don’t listen to her._

_When they come down, she’ll have it good, how many of you can say the same?_

You were right the entire time, I was stubborn and selfish. I also didn’t know how good I would have it, now I have you, Clarke.

_I’m here for you._  
_I hear you have a gun._  
_Good, follow me._  
_and why would I do that?_  
_because you want them to follow you._

You were so cheeky, so confident and you stood to me, I couldn’t help but follow you and I did.  
You looked back at me and I mumbled the fact and desire to cut your wrist off if you didn’t take off the band. What kind of man was I?

_The only way the Ark is going to think I’m dead, is if I’m dead._  
_Brave Princess._  
Your nickname adopted by Finn that I took a liking to. I’ve used it ever since.  
I hated that nickname, you were such an ass, Bellamy.

I saved your life when you slipped into that trap, it was on impulse, for a while I thought to drop you.  
I’m glad you didn’t drop me, Bellamy.

My eyes didn’t move from you much, Clarke. After that, I found myself staring impulsively.

_If I say there’s hope, there’s hope._  
_This isn’t about hope, it’s about guts, you don’t have the guts to make the hard choices._

You were taking care of Jasper, you held onto that hope and to this day, he stands on my left side, watching you walk towards me. You had hope, you had guts, you saved his life and you saved mine.

When Atom was hurt, I watched you be that brave woman, the one I fell in love with. I think it was at that moment, I started.

_Get out of my way Bellamy._  
_Clarke, be smart about this._  
_I saw you in the woods with Atom, I know you’re not a killer!_  
_This is on you princess._

You had this power over me so early into knowing you, Clarke. I couldn’t control it and sometimes when you stood to me I did things to spite you.

Bellamy, you’re still not a killer, you’re still him, the man I fell in love with.

I ran with Charlotte for what felt like hours, we mutually agreed to protect her and we both lost her.  
Murphy had a knife to your neck and I was terrified.  
I remember when we lost her, you called out my name, I was beating Murphy senseless and I normally black out, but I heard your voice screaming for me to stop, Finn pulled me off him, you reasoned with me. You fought my inner demons with your bare hands.

_Bellamy don’t you see what this means? you’re not a murderer._

I shot Jaha, I didn’t kill him, and there your glossy blue eyes were to tell me that I did what was right.  
To protect Octavia.

_Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?_

_I wouldn’t even know what to wish for._

Clarke I wished for you.  
I think...I wished for you too Bellamy.

_It’s not easy being in charge is it?_  
_It’s hard running things._

You were honest and afraid but....we always figured it out didn’t we, Clarke.  
We always did, together.

_I need you_

You saved my life that day Bellamy, you saved me from Dax.  
_If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you, you’re forgiven._  
_But you can’t run Bellamy._

You got me pardoned of my crimes Clarke, you saved my life that day too.

_Did he do something to you?_

You got infected and I panicked, I thought he hurt you.  
You even looked after me once you got better.

_I am become death, destroyer of worlds._

You always amazed me, but you truly amazed me that day. You knew who Oppenheimer was.

Things got rough for us but we pulled through, then I lost you to mount weather.  
When you got back you eloped me in this embrace, it caught me off guard, I had you in my arms.

Things got chaotic between everyone and we no longer could make choices based on our own preferences. We decided, to find Finn.

_The last time I saw you, you were closing the drop ship door._  
_It had to be done._

He frightened you and he changed, he went insane trying to find you. I watched it unravel and he killed all of those grounders. In the process of trying to protect him from certain fate, you even got hurt. I was terrified Clarke but I couldn’t afford to show fear. I had to be strong when you weren't there to do so.

_Clarke can you hear me?_  
_Clarke?_  
_You’re gonna be fine._

They were going to torture Finn for his crimes. You stood against the tide and took on that burden yourself. From then I decided, I decided that I would never let you take on these things alone.

I never wanted to share burdens with you, Bellamy, but you would never let me take them on alone.

_I can’t lose you too._

Bellamy you knocked the glass of poison out of my hand and shielded me with your body. That meeting with the commander, you were willing to put your life on the line for me. You always did.

I always will.

_I thought you didn’t like that plan, that I would get myself killed._

_I was being weak._

I was convinced that love was weakness, I was so wrong Bellamy.  
I hadn’t heard from you once you got into Mount Weather. I was so terrified that I had lost you.

I was so mad at you for sending me in there after you told me you couldn’t lose me. I knew something in you had shifted. I was so angry, until I heard your voice call out to me through the radio. The anger faded so quickly.

_Bellamy?_

_Clarke?_

_Are you alright?_

_Bellamy, you came through._  
_I knew you would._

We never got to a plan that didn’t involve killing everyone. I had to make an inevitable choice and you placed your hand over mine and pulled that lever with me.

_Together._

Clarke, when you decided to leave, I understood. I didn’t like it but I knew, you needed to find yourself. I just wanted you to be safe, that’s all that mattered. It destroyed me to know that you couldn’t find the comfort you needed in me. I knew, that one day, we would meet again.

_If you need forgiveness, I’ll give that to you, you’re forgiven._  
_Please come inside._

I had to leave, Bellamy, I knew you were upset.  
I left you and took on the burden alone, I shouldn’t have left you at all and I know that now. I was being selfish, we could have handled it together.

_May we meet again._

_May we meet again._

-and we did, we really did. I had heard of the bounty placed on you. Wanheda - The commander of death. That is what they called you. We went out in search to find you and when we did I nearly lost my mind. I wasn’t thinking straight, I just wanted to find you, to bring you home to safety. I dressed in Azgeda armor and followed your trail. I found you and seeing you for the first time in months. It was like breathing air for the first time.

_I’ll do anything, I’ll stop fighting, just please don’t kill him._

I was terrified that Roan would kill you, I pleaded with my life and he spared you. I knew I would see you again but I was afraid I was to be killed. I might not have ever seen you again. I was spared and more than terrified, worried if you were okay.

Clarke, after I lost your trail, after I suffered the wound, I followed along behind you. I thought I had lost my mind just following you the first time, I almost had you, then you were gone seconds later. I was so close. I lost control of myself.

It was a while before I saw you but when I did you were at the summit, at the commanders side. I asked you, to come home with me and you refused. I was, so mad at you, Clarke.

_She left us to die on that mountain. She will always put her people first._  
_You should come home to yours._

I wanted to come with you but I knew that the coalition had to be put in priority, I’m sorry Bellamy.

_I’m sorry._

The tension between the clans increased after this and Pike rose to power and made me one of his men. I believe that my mind was in all of the wrong places, I made such shitty decisions without you, Clarke. You keep me balanced and I derailed.  
You came to me in search of my help and I couldn’t let you leave. I feared the worst for you. I couldn’t lose you.

_I need you._

_You need me?_  
_You left me._

You didn’t let me pull that lever alone, I searched my mind, I searched my heart and you were the answer. I came to you that day because I knew you of all people, had never let me down, Bellamy.

Once this had happened, you left with Octavia. I had realized the ruins that Pike was leaving in his wake, destroying Arkadia from the inside out. Once Octavia lost Lincoln, I couldn’t bring myself to forgive myself. I was so mad at you, myself and everything that was happening that was out of my control. Then you came to me on the beach and told me what gets me by to this day.

_We need each other, Bellamy._

That was enough for me to know that being angry with you, wasn’t the answer for me. We slowly started working as a team again, it even started prior to our talks. It was like our bodies knew what we refused to acknowledge. I decided from that moment you were right. I needed to be there, to protect you, and I did.

It came time to face Alie, to face on this threat regardless of the outcome. I held your hand, I believed in you, I watched you go under and into the city of light. I didn’t know how long I stared at you, how long I sat afraid in my very own skin, itching to find out if you were okay. I did what I could to protect you, no matter what. You were working things on the inside and I, had to protect you outside. We always worked as a team together. It brings new meaning to take care of things topside.

Now here I stare at you, walking towards me and I’m breathless, Clarke.

Now here I walk toward you, staring at you like I forgot how to breathe, Bellamy.

Now here we are and I am more in love than I have ever been.

Clarke walked and stood directly in front of Bellamy. He gently lifted the veil and allowed it to float behind her. Her blue eyes sparkly from tears and his own sharing that feeling. They were both feeling these rush of memories, everything they had ever been through was here with them today. They always got through it together and now they always would, forever.

The ceremony started as simple as it could be remembered. It was tough given that they had nobody to professionally marry them so it was more personal and the couple couldn’t help but appreciate it that much more. He held her hands and the man to marry them began to speak.

“Dearly beloved.  
We are gathered here today to witness our first marriage since we landed on earth.  
Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin wish to join together in grace and peace, in joy and sorrow, in bravery and strength, in sickness and in health, in love and safety, so long as you both shall live under the stars of this very sky and home in one another's arms. Until death do you part and when you do, may you reincarnate together to love once again. - the rings?”

Octavia brought the two rings giving one to Clarke and one to Bellamy.

“Bellamy Blake, do you take this woman as yours, to be by her side, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Bellamy had tears welling in his eyes, this was something he read out of books to Octavia. It was so perfect.

“Clarke, from the moment I met you, I knew you would be something special to me. In ways I can’t explain, I always knew. I came down to earth to protect my sister and little did I know that when I made that choice, I was to fall in love with you in this journey. We have been through so much, there is nothing we cannot face as long as we are together. I promise to be by your side until I breathe my last breath.” Bellamy finished, his voice cracking in joy, he watched little tears stream down her face as he pulled her hand up to slip the ring on her finger, he remained holding her hands.

“Clarke Griffin, do you take this man to be yours, to be by his side, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Clarke was crying and her smile was wide and it left the crowd in awe.

“Bellamy, when I met you, I didn’t think for a second that this is where we would be. I too, knew that I had a connection with you that I did not carry with anyone else. I came down to earth in fear of everything and everyone. I did not have a choice to come down here and for a while I resented everyone around me, but you understood me. I didn’t know that when I was forced onto that drop ship, I was to be given the chance at a journey of a life time. I never imagined it quite like this, I never imagined falling in love and I did. We will always face things together as we always did. I promise to be by your side until I breathe my last breath.” Clarke’s voice did not waver, she had practiced this for what felt like decades. She lifted his hand and slipped his ring that was made specially for him, on his finger.

“I am pleased to announce the joining of these two young souls. I am pleased to share this moment with each and every one of you. May this love last forever, I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

It didn’t take long for Bellamy to snake his arm around her and press the gentlest of kisses to her lips. It felt like their first kiss all over again. The loud roaring of cheering and clapping could hardly be heard between the two of them. As it always was, it felt like it was just them and nobody else there right in that moment.

The festivities began almost immediately afterwards. It was a celebration they would all remember forever. It was the first Arkadian wedding. Clarke had to admit that it was the happiest moment of her life and Bellamy? he thought no different.

The small lanterns and the lights from the ark illuminated the entire place as the sun began to set. It was joyous and the music was loud and the din of the people matched it.

Bellamy made rounds as did Clarke, separate and together, thanking everyone for their congratulations and thanking them for sharing this moment of history with them. Weddings made everyone sappy and over joyed. Clarke and Bellamy couldn’t count the amount of tears and sobbing women who were even thanking them for getting married. Bellamy couldn’t help but poke fun at Clarke for crying with them.

Her children she taught were ever so congratulatory as well. They argued for a while on the topic of what to call her, she said Miss.Griffin was fine but they argued that since she was “Chancellor Blake’s” wife, she had to be called Miss.Blake. She really couldn’t argue with a bunch of excited children.

The food was special and different for a change. The Azgeda nation that did join for the wedding and festivities, made food for the wedding. They did not have much in gifts but they had asked Clarke weeks back if that would be alright and she was delighted to accept the request.

It was several types of meats and potatoes, some steamed vegetables. Wine and moonshine made it’s rounds amongst the adults. They had little speeches here and there and each and every one of their friends had something wonderful to say. If it was jokes about how Bellamy’s been head over heels for Clarke since day one, or just genuine congratulates, it was a day of happiness, it didn’t matter to them what was said. Their hands stayed tangled in one anothers the entire night.

After dinner had finished, Bellamy took Clarke to the center to dance. He read in the past that in these weddings someone would announce it but Bellamy was never one for formalities. She wasn’t shocked either, she just chuckled and followed along behind him.

He was slow with her, one of his arms around her waist and the other held her hand. One of her hands on his shoulder, the other tangled in his hand. The music was soft, it was the violinist playing once again. The people sat still eating and chatting quietly amongst themselves but all eyes were mostly glued to Bellamy and Clarke.

“I still think dancing is silly.” Clarke whispered smirking.

“Of course you do.” he chuckled pressing his forehead to hers.

“All of these formalities, it feels alien.” he could only agree with a slight nod, his forehead still pressed to hers.

“I don’t think I’ve had this many people cry on me.” Bellamy muttered sounding half annoyed, half sarcastic.

“After all the shit we’ve been through...you’d think...” he laughed not letting her respond, pressing a kiss to her nose.

“You know, it’s funny.” he started, she listened quietly to the din of the people watching them and his steady breathing. “Our lives went from living hell...to perfect. We don’t have to fight to survive any longer. We can actually live...sort of normal lives.” he was laughing at the complexity of their life.

“I wouldn’t call this normal but okay. So, you think we can live a normal life?” it was more of a kind question than anything else. She knew the truth, of course they could.

“As long as I’m with you, it will be anything but normal, princess.” he chuckled. “You will always keep my life interesting and that hasn’t stopped since the moment we landed.”

She rolled her eyes and laughed too. “Murphy calls you the Rebel King, so wouldn’t that make me a queen now?” she pressed smirking, their bodies just swayed with one another.

“I guess it does but that doesn’t change the nickname and it never will, princess.” he smirked too.

“I don’t ever want us to be normal, Bellamy. I kind of like messy.” she confessed smiling. It caught Bellamy off guard because her remark about liking messy reminds him of what he says to himself.

“I quite like messy.” he replied quickly, it was cheeky.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way. Our lives were so different so long ago, we lived in chaos and thrived. Here we are, together, we survived.” Clarke’s smile reached her voice as it did over and over the entire night. It didn’t change the fact that the tone it gave off was so pure, so raw and happy.

“We always will survive, together.” Bellamy said softly, his lips pressing to hers and the cheer of the crowd once again.

_“Together”_ they said in unicent.  
  
_They would always be together._  
_It was quite funny how all of this worked out._  
_Bellamy landed on earth prepared to take on the world quite specifically, guns blazing._  
_and Clarke? she came down afraid of almost everything but strong and fearless all in the same breath._  
_They had a connection like no other._  
_They would stand in front of death for one another, no matter the cost._  
_They lead the hundred together._  
_They lead them to peace._  
_They were one anothers gravity, they were strength, they were strong, together._  
_They had demons and their demons danced well together._  
_They would always be together._  
_It didn’t matter if the tides changed._  
_Because loving Clarke was like a warm summer breeze._  
And loving Bellamy was the sun, kissing your cheeks.

_They would forever find home in each others arms._  
They never had a need to say may we meet again because they knew.  
They would always find a way back to one another.  
They always did.  
Together.


End file.
